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should my 2yr old know that i am getting a divorse from her dad soon?

Posted by on Dec. 4, 2014 at 2:35 PM
  • 7 Replies

me and her dad has been living separate for few months now, with almost zero contact between my lo and her dad. she never asked for him during this time nor mentions anything related to him. she asks for other people like her aunt, cousins etc whom she has met only for few days and they live in another country. but never has she asked about her dad. when strangers ask her about her dad then  her replywill be related to her grandpa. eg:someone asked her where her paapa(her dad) is n she quickly replied papa(my dad. her grandpa) went to office. i have no idea where her dad lies in her mind n thoughts! but im sure if she mees him even now she will recognize him and be with him. also i make sure i do not bring up any conversation relating to him. so, is it advisable to tell her anything?if yes then how do i go about it? im confused.

by on Dec. 4, 2014 at 2:35 PM
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Replies (1-7):
anotherandree
by Inga on Dec. 4, 2014 at 2:40 PM
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Honestly, I would change the name of Grandpa to something that she would not confuse with her father, then only bring it up if she asks.  If changing the name is not possible (and I get that), I would correct her.  If she says that her papa is at the office (when they ask about her father), I would say, "Yes, Papa is at the office but they are asking about your father and he is not here."  I would not talk bad about him but the truth is that he is not there.  If she asks where he is just tell the truth.  "I don't know."  "Is he coming back?"  "I don't think so but I don't know."  Parents don't have to always have all the answers.

atlmom2
by Ruby Member on Dec. 4, 2014 at 2:48 PM
1 mom liked this
This

Quoting anotherandree:

Honestly, I would change the name of Grandpa to something that she would not confuse with her father, then only bring it up if she asks.  If changing the name is not possible (and I get that), I would correct her.  If she says that her papa is at the office (when they ask about her father), I would say, "Yes, Papa is at the office but they are asking about your father and he is not here."  I would not talk bad about him but the truth is that he is not there.  If she asks where he is just tell the truth.  "I don't know."  "Is he coming back?"  "I don't think so but I don't know."  Parents don't have to always have all the answers.

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kirbymom
by Bronze Member on Dec. 4, 2014 at 3:22 PM
1 mom liked this

Great advice!

This is what I would have said. 

Quoting anotherandree:

Honestly, I would change the name of Grandpa to something that she would not confuse with her father, then only bring it up if she asks.  If changing the name is not possible (and I get that), I would correct her.  If she says that her papa is at the office (when they ask about her father), I would say, "Yes, Papa is at the office but they are asking about your father and he is not here."  I would not talk bad about him but the truth is that he is not there.  If she asks where he is just tell the truth.  "I don't know."  "Is he coming back?"  "I don't think so but I don't know."  Parents don't have to always have all the answers.


LuLuRex
by Bronze Member on Dec. 4, 2014 at 5:05 PM
1 mom liked this

I think this is really good advice.

Stick to the truth so it's not even more confusing when she gets older.

Quoting anotherandree:

Honestly, I would change the name of Grandpa to something that she would not confuse with her father, then only bring it up if she asks.  If changing the name is not possible (and I get that), I would correct her.  If she says that her papa is at the office (when they ask about her father), I would say, "Yes, Papa is at the office but they are asking about your father and he is not here."  I would not talk bad about him but the truth is that he is not there.  If she asks where he is just tell the truth.  "I don't know."  "Is he coming back?"  "I don't think so but I don't know."  Parents don't have to always have all the answers.


MusherMaggie
by Silver Member on Dec. 4, 2014 at 5:18 PM
1 mom liked this
What was said above. The truth, without lots of details at this point because she is so young. Time for more details when she's older.
babiesheaven
by New Member on Dec. 5, 2014 at 2:30 AM

 thanks for the reply everyone! well, my lo calls my dad granpa but i call him papa, almost similar to what she calls her dad! so whenever someone says papa she tags her granpa. coz she thinks her granpas name is papa. thanks a lot for letting me know to be honest and simple with my lo. actually lot of people were asking me to just not bring his topic so she will eventually forget. that was not a satisfactory advice for me n im relieved to know your answers!

Quoting anotherandree:

Honestly, I would change the name of Grandpa to something that she would not confuse with her father, then only bring it up if she asks.  If changing the name is not possible (and I get that), I would correct her.  If she says that her papa is at the office (when they ask about her father), I would say, "Yes, Papa is at the office but they are asking about your father and he is not here."  I would not talk bad about him but the truth is that he is not there.  If she asks where he is just tell the truth.  "I don't know."  "Is he coming back?"  "I don't think so but I don't know."  Parents don't have to always have all the answers.

 

EvilQueenMommy
by Bronze Member on Dec. 6, 2014 at 7:47 PM

Is he out of her life completely? If not, he really should visit her so she doesn't forget him

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