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my bff is off the wall.

Posted by on Dec. 20, 2014 at 3:30 PM
  • 16 Replies
So I feel like no matter what I say...or if I say nothing....my bff is always mad at me. I asked her on Monday when we would get together for Christmas and she said when did I want to. I set my phone down and didn't answer for five minutes. She messaged me 5 times finally saying " I'll just send your gifts over with Corey" (her nephew whose dating my daughter) I explained why I set my phone down and tried to talk it out. At one point I told her she was being very passive aggressive. At one point she called me a liar. She again said she'd send the gifts over and not bother me anymore. I said "if you're not going to bother me anymore then we don't need to exchange gifts". We soon (within an hour) apologized and made up. I have since asked if she wanted to come Christmas eve and she said she had plans. We have talked. I thought we were ok. She asked me what I was doing today and I said sewing, I have to finish her hubby gift. She said " not to be mean, but we're not doing gifts. That's what you said.".....yahoo I said "if your not bothering with me there is no point" but we made up. She told me she had already sold what she got my daughter. This hit me HARD. I don't know why. None of my family care about gifts! I think I felt like it meant she didn't want to bother with me. I basically said that and it's all fine and for the best. I can't stop crying. We were friends for 20 years. Did I overreact? I think this was just that final nail ya know? I have gotten frustrated with every convetsation for months. Part of me says this is best and part of me is dying. This may seem trivial but I feel like every conversation for months is a sneaky way To jab at me.Advice?
by on Dec. 20, 2014 at 3:30 PM
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Replies (1-10):
ceciliam
by Cecilia on Dec. 20, 2014 at 3:41 PM

It sounds like something more deep is bothering her.

othermom
by Gold Member on Dec. 20, 2014 at 3:49 PM

I think something else is going

deann66
by Silver Member on Dec. 20, 2014 at 4:16 PM
I know she's been on these diet pills for like 18 months. (Adipex)-Prescription. Could that do this? I mean she's been fighting with her husband (use to be an ideal marriage...30 years! And he seems frustrated with her all the time. She yells at him every time I see them) her nephew (and every kid use to LOVE her but he can't stand to be near her now)her kids....everyone. she use to go out of her way to be kind and now I feel like she picks fights. Should I talk to her about the meds? I mean, I kinda dumped her today so it's hard now. Idk what to do.
gypsy_rose
by Member on Dec. 20, 2014 at 4:28 PM
2 moms liked this

I would talk to her husband about your concerns. You guys can share notes and see if maybe it is something else. 

Quoting deann66: I know she's been on these diet pills for like 18 months. (Adipex)-Prescription. Could that do this? I mean she's been fighting with her husband (use to be an ideal marriage...30 years! And he seems frustrated with her all the time. She yells at him every time I see them) her nephew (and every kid use to LOVE her but he can't stand to be near her now)her kids....everyone. she use to go out of her way to be kind and now I feel like she picks fights. Should I talk to her about the meds? I mean, I kinda dumped her today so it's hard now. Idk what to do.


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a_and_j_momma
by Platinum Member on Dec. 21, 2014 at 2:53 AM
Maybe she is depressed. Have you tried talking to her about her change in behavior?
rosesink
by Member on Dec. 21, 2014 at 3:33 AM

 You need to ask her if she is ok.  The holidays can be very difficult for some people, especially if they have suffered a loss of a loved one.  Perhaps you are (without realizing it) focusing every conversation with Holiday talk, she sounds like the season is overwhelming her.

lesbians

 

Quoting deann66: So I feel like no matter what I say...or if I say nothing....my bff is always mad at me. I asked her on Monday when we would get together for Christmas and she said when did I want to. I set my phone down and didn't answer for five minutes. She messaged me 5 times finally saying " I'll just send your gifts over with Corey" (her nephew whose dating my daughter) I explained why I set my phone down and tried to talk it out. At one point I told her she was being very passive aggressive. At one point she called me a liar. She again said she'd send the gifts over and not bother me anymore. I said "if you're not going to bother me anymore then we don't need to exchange gifts". We soon (within an hour) apologized and made up. I have since asked if she wanted to come Christmas eve and she said she had plans. We have talked. I thought we were ok. She asked me what I was doing today and I said sewing, I have to finish her hubby gift. She said " not to be mean, but we're not doing gifts. That's what you said.".....yahoo I said "if your not bothering with me there is no point" but we made up. She told me she had already sold what she got my daughter. This hit me HARD. I don't know why. None of my family care about gifts! I think I felt like it meant she didn't want to bother with me. I basically said that and it's all fine and for the best. I can't stop crying. We were friends for 20 years. Did I overreact? I think this was just that final nail ya know? I have gotten frustrated with every convetsation for months. Part of me says this is best and part of me is dying. This may seem trivial but I feel like every conversation for months is a sneaky way To jab at me.Advice?

 

cheetah90210
by Member on Dec. 21, 2014 at 6:16 AM
Invite her over the two of you food fun movies wine and voice your concerns ask her if something is going on.
Basherte
by Bronze Member on Dec. 21, 2014 at 6:30 AM

I agree here.

Quoting gypsy_rose:

I would talk to her husband about your concerns. You guys can share notes and see if maybe it is something else. 

Quoting deann66: I know she's been on these diet pills for like 18 months. (Adipex)-Prescription. Could that do this? I mean she's been fighting with her husband (use to be an ideal marriage...30 years! And he seems frustrated with her all the time. She yells at him every time I see them) her nephew (and every kid use to LOVE her but he can't stand to be near her now)her kids....everyone. she use to go out of her way to be kind and now I feel like she picks fights. Should I talk to her about the meds? I mean, I kinda dumped her today so it's hard now. Idk what to do.



deann66
by Silver Member on Dec. 21, 2014 at 8:44 AM
I have invited her over for stuff. I've dropped by her house and she stays busy the whole time. I have not tried to talk deep but I have asked what is going on with us. I did a lot of soul searching last night and I think I know. 1 1/2 years ago I moved 2 hours upstate to be near her again after 25 years. A month later her other bff moved to another state and "Jane" freaked out. Her life was ending. Since then she has done the 16 hour trip at least 8-9 times. Her daughter is dating my son and I have watched her freeze out her daughter in an attempt to break them up. Her adult son and his gf live with her. Her husband just got a higher degree and she has been upsetting her bosses at work and I am talking about a woman who is every bosses dream....til now. I think she wants to move to where her friend is and would feel guilty leaving me after I gave up everything to move up here. But if she can get ME to "dump" her....she can move without guilt. I wondered that before and even asked her a year ago if she wanted to move there and she said she wished she could but her kids are here. Since then things have happened that would probably guarantee her kids would move with her....at least her son who she favors. So Ya, I can't say this to anyone here, it sounds crazy paranoid but it's good to get it into writing. Lol
ceciliam
by Cecilia on Dec. 21, 2014 at 6:41 PM

Well, this very well could be the issue.

Quoting deann66: I have invited her over for stuff. I've dropped by her house and she stays busy the whole time. I have not tried to talk deep but I have asked what is going on with us. I did a lot of soul searching last night and I think I know. 1 1/2 years ago I moved 2 hours upstate to be near her again after 25 years. A month later her other bff moved to another state and "Jane" freaked out. Her life was ending. Since then she has done the 16 hour trip at least 8-9 times. Her daughter is dating my son and I have watched her freeze out her daughter in an attempt to break them up. Her adult son and his gf live with her. Her husband just got a higher degree and she has been upsetting her bosses at work and I am talking about a woman who is every bosses dream....til now. I think she wants to move to where her friend is and would feel guilty leaving me after I gave up everything to move up here. But if she can get ME to "dump" her....she can move without guilt. I wondered that before and even asked her a year ago if she wanted to move there and she said she wished she could but her kids are here. Since then things have happened that would probably guarantee her kids would move with her....at least her son who she favors. So Ya, I can't say this to anyone here, it sounds crazy paranoid but it's good to get it into writing. Lol



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