• In the Spotlight:
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

husband vrs toddler

Posted by on Dec. 28, 2014 at 2:14 PM
  • 10 Replies

The hubby and I were married 2 years before our daughter was born in 2011. Since then our marrige has bassically come to us being housemates. At first everything was fine we had those new baby parent feels an we shared everything rasing emma was a shared thing and we were still close. Then some where between 2-3 years old something changed. my love stopped helping with emilie or housework. he started playing video games non stop when he wasnt at work. We stopped sleeping in the same bed and after a while we stopped talking. the only time he says anything to me now is to yell at me or complain we dont have sex enough. we do have small talk but he just puts headphones n the moment he walks in the door and starts talking to his xbox buddies and pretty much ignores me. I breastfeed and co sleep btw. his idea at first but i love it and our kid has a seizer issue so i feel safer with her near me at night

. after many fights and long talks  he says i replaced him with our 3 year old, that ive changed and married him under faulse pretences that if he'd known his sex craved girlfriend would turn into the ice queen he'd stayed single. he is constantly saying that emma ruined our marrige. that he desnt understand why i went from a sex craved teenager to a cold hearted prune. I was 19 when we got married and after giving birth sex just hurts. alot. but my doctr told my husband it cant possibly hurt after 9 months so now he thinks im lying. it feels gross now the whole idea of him touching me down there just feels wrong. before baby i was  sex addict. so  i have changed in that aspect. i went from sex sex sex to being repulsed by the thought. and sex apperently is a big thing for him still. but now its to the point where we dont even talk i just dont know what to do. we've talked abut divorce but he says he wants to be with me he just wants the me he married back and not this "heartless cunt" 

thats the cliff notes.--- wat to do? i dont want a divorce i want to be me again.

by on Dec. 28, 2014 at 2:14 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
by Ruby Member on Dec. 28, 2014 at 2:21 PM
You need to see a doctor and maybe counseling.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by Cecilia on Dec. 28, 2014 at 2:37 PM

I really don't know what to say....I actually see his point, although I don't agree with the name calling towards you.

Good luck.

by Bronze Member on Dec. 28, 2014 at 2:39 PM
Have you tried counseling? And marriage counseling? And both you talk it out.
by Member on Dec. 28, 2014 at 3:03 PM

 A good doctor check up to make sure you are healthy physically to start.

Then a good therapist to find out why you are repulsed. Sometime we stop seeing ourselves as women and think of ourselves as only mothers when we give birth. We get the two roles confused without realizing it. It is okay to be someones mom and someones lover at the same time...sounds like you need help finding that balance.

As far as him, he sounds like a video game addict...my son is one and it is an addiction like any other...you both have issues to work on...but the factors you have going for you are a good basis to work this out..You love one another and both of you want to stay together..seek some out side help and a new perspective.

Pam in Alabama
A Mom to nine sons and one daughter with five still at home
by Bronze Member on Dec. 28, 2014 at 3:35 PM
Marriage counseling...
by Mom2boys on Dec. 28, 2014 at 8:03 PM

Counseling is needed here.  For you and a good doctor.

Daisypath Anniversary tickersLilypie Second Birthday tickers

Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers Lilypie First Birthday tickers

by New Member on Dec. 28, 2014 at 8:05 PM
You need to put just as much effort into your marriage as him. If you don't want your marriage to end them you better start trying fix things. Good luck.
by Kathleen on Dec. 28, 2014 at 11:07 PM

 I think three things might help.  First off I would see a new doctor who can help you run tests on hormones and such to help you get to feeling better where sex won't hurt and where you have your sex drive back.  Secondlly I think marriage therapy would probably help a lot.  Thirdly there is a great book called the Love Dare that you might want to check out.  Good luck. 

by Member on Dec. 28, 2014 at 11:30 PM
Marriage counseling. It takes hard work to maintain a marriage, work from both parties.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by New Member on Dec. 29, 2014 at 1:50 AM
After giving birth to my daughter sex hurt. I couldn't do it, didn't want to. My dr said nothing was wrong and suggested Astro glide lube.
It was a force behind the breakdown of my relationship then I started a new relationship and was pretty worried I'd never have an actual relationship again because of my sex issue.
Well he said he didn't mind. He didn't pressure me like my ex or man it a big deal. He was slow and sweet about it and when him and I finally had sex... it didn't hurt.
I'm pretty sure I had up a mental block because it wasn't anything physical.
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)