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He choked him at daycare!!

Posted by on Jan. 20, 2015 at 10:06 AM
  • 29 Replies

I'm really bad at coming up with good titles so people will click... my son is the "choker" except he didn't actually choke him. I really need advice, please.

Yesterday we had an incident report. The teacher said ds grabbed another kids neck and there was a tousle and ds got kicked in the process. Of course I wanted to get his side so I asked him about it. My son's story is that the other kid grabbed the car he had been working really hard to build (Legos I think) and ds said to give it back. He said he was "testing" him and broke it anyway. I don't know exactly what he meant but it sounds to me like the kid was being a goob. My son scratched the kids neck with his nails and the teacher said she separated them. I took the situation very seriously. We talked all the way home and he went straight to his room to wait while I talked to his dad. He spent an hour in his room thinking about it and was in tears and knows very well it was the wrong thing to do. We spent some time talking about how to handle it next time, etc. and then moved on. This is the very first time he has ever hurt someone at daycare (though he's been on the receiving end several times). I wanted to have him write an apology note but dh says he doesn't even agree he should be in trouble because the kid was picking on him so he said he would follow my lead on it but would not agree with making him write a note.

Soo... this morning the kids mom came in all sorts of upset about it. Her kid told her ds was choking him so bad his brother had to come pull him off. A teacher talked to ds again asking for exactly what happened which made him cry again because he is never in trouble. 

My point- should I address this further? Write a note to the other mom? Should he have to write an apology note? Is dh right that I am taking this way too seriously?

EDIT: FYI ds is in Kindergarten. Also I texted dh that the other mom is upset and his response was "mad about what. Her kid should not have broken his toy" UGH! 


by on Jan. 20, 2015 at 10:06 AM
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Replies (1-10):
lucky2Beeme
by Platinum Member on Jan. 20, 2015 at 10:12 AM
2 moms liked this

I think I would just keep telling my son we use our words not our hands when upset. Also that when another child upsets him he needs to go right to the teacher.

leeshuh
by Member on Jan. 20, 2015 at 10:30 AM

Ok thanks. We did do that. I also taught him to put his hands together and squeeze hard to let out some anger and to keep his hands to himself. Should I be worried about this other mom or let it go?


Quoting lucky2Beeme:

I think I would just keep telling my son we use our words not our hands when upset. Also that when another child upsets him he needs to go right to the teacher.


leeshuh
by Member on Jan. 20, 2015 at 10:59 AM

bump

lucky2Beeme
by Platinum Member on Jan. 20, 2015 at 3:46 PM
Let it go and pray nothing else happens between the kids.
a_and_j_momma
by Platinum Member on Jan. 21, 2015 at 1:24 AM
You did what was necessary so let it go at this point. Hopefully it won't repeat
Sunsetbeaches69
by on Jan. 21, 2015 at 1:32 AM
1 mom liked this
Your husbands right don,t write a letter it will make things worse...just keep talking to him and telling him we don't,hit other people cause it,s not nice...
Mom2Just1
by Mom2boys on Jan. 21, 2015 at 5:26 AM
1 mom liked this
You did what you did. Let it go.
Wish2Be
by Bronze Member on Jan. 21, 2015 at 7:49 AM

Dont write a letter.... the mother will only get more upset. 

Flyingblind5
by Member on Jan. 21, 2015 at 7:57 AM
2 moms liked this

This is all inappropriate behavior for daycare/school regardless of the reasons and most places have a ZERO tolerance policy for physical aggression (I do at my center, everyone gets in trouble for physical aggression). Kids have to control their anger and verbalize their feelings even when they are mad. You did the right thing by discussing it with him and coming up with alternative ways to handle it. I would drop it completely and move on who cares what that other kid is saying...they are little boys they have no clue what "choke" means in the adult world. The other kid sounds like a brat and a bully just help your child to understand that physical aggression is not ok.

Gabbysmom615
by on Jan. 21, 2015 at 8:40 AM
Like they said let it go not worth it
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