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i feel okay until...

Posted by on Feb. 27, 2015 at 12:46 PM
  • 34 Replies

I REALLY start thinking about things.

For example, my boyfriend hasn't had alcohol in almost 3 months (yay!) after having the WORST drunken night EVER back in December due to a work Christmas party (some of you may remember my old post regarding that night!). Anyways, somehow drinking came up in conversation yesterday and he mentioned that the one thing he is 'dreading' is when he decides to have a drink again because of how upset I will be. Then we got talking about the whole situation and how I feel about drinking and why he feels the need to drink again...  

The vibe I was getting from him is that I shouldn't be upset when he starts drinking again (let me clarify--after his stupid ass behavior and choices he made on that December night, he's realized he shouldn't have drank that much and doesn't want to feel that shitty ever again--so when i say he wants to start drinknig again I mean he wants to have a beer with dinner at a restaurant for date night or have a beer on a night off, etc). I feel like he thinks that since he's been sober for almost 3 months (and however much longer he can go without drinking) that his 'good behavior' somehow allows him a 'free pass' for not drinking for such a 'long time'.  I think that is absolutely ridiculous and doesn't even make the least bit of sense! I'd like to hear some other thoughts on this...do you think his 'good behavior' entitles him to start drinking and for me to not be mad at all???  



by on Feb. 27, 2015 at 12:46 PM
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Replies (1-10):
nuts4scouts
by Bronze Member on Feb. 27, 2015 at 1:19 PM

The questions are -

Does he make a habit of going on drunken binges - or was this the first?

Why do you equate 1 beer with dinner at a restaurant as a "free pass"?

A "free pass" to do what - exactly?


AbbeysMom2013
by Gold Member on Feb. 27, 2015 at 2:27 PM
Did he have bad nights often?

He basically wants to drink socially without you getting upset.

It's not really a decision you can make for him, drinking is one of those things that people have to give up on their own or it won't stick.
Mom2Just1
by Mom2boys on Feb. 27, 2015 at 4:18 PM


Quoting nuts4scouts:

The questions are -

Does he make a habit of going on drunken binges - or was this the first?

Why do you equate 1 beer with dinner at a restaurant as a "free pass"?

A "free pass" to do what - exactly?


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Jukebox_Jenny
by on Feb. 27, 2015 at 4:19 PM
What do you expect of him? What does he expect? If those things don't match you two need to have a conversation and likely compromise.
delanna6two
by on Feb. 27, 2015 at 5:02 PM
1 mom liked this

 Hope things will work out...

Desirae1394
by on Feb. 27, 2015 at 10:42 PM
I wAs wondering the same.

Quoting nuts4scouts:

The questions are -

Does he make a habit of going on drunken binges - or was this the first?

Why do you equate 1 beer with dinner at a restaurant as a "free pass"?

A "free pass" to do what - exactly?

Desirae1394
by on Feb. 27, 2015 at 10:43 PM
Very true. Also, not drinking isn't all that is needed for an alcoholic to be 'well'.

Quoting AbbeysMom2013: Did he have bad nights often?

He basically wants to drink socially without you getting upset.

It's not really a decision you can make for him, drinking is one of those things that people have to give up on their own or it won't stick.
sanj1213
by on Feb. 27, 2015 at 11:57 PM
If he starts drinking again hopefully he won't have any bad nights.
a_and_j_momma
by Platinum Member on Feb. 28, 2015 at 12:14 AM
My thoughts exactly

Quoting nuts4scouts:

The questions are -

Does he make a habit of going on drunken binges - or was this the first?

Why do you equate 1 beer with dinner at a restaurant as a "free pass"?

A "free pass" to do what - exactly?

AM-BRAT
by Amber on Feb. 28, 2015 at 3:41 AM
Boyfriend?

Father of your kids?

If you're uncomfortable with the drinking and all he's doing is waiting to drink again- I'd be so over it.
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