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Need Advice/Help

Posted by on Feb. 27, 2015 at 2:33 PM
  • 26 Replies

Hello Everyone,

My name is Heather and I am a mom of two. One is 4 and the other is 1.5. I am here to get some advice from you all. I am in a relationship with the father of my children. He also has two other children with another woman. About 2 months ago I surprised him with a move that I thought would be amazing. We were living 45 minutes away from his daughters and he was only getting to see them every other weekend. So I decided at the end of our lease to move us back to Knoxville, to the same apartment complex as his daughters, so that he would be able to see them whenever they wanted to come up, they would have their own room at our apartment, and he would be able to take them to school. Essential he would apart of their everyday lives which is what he has wanted for so long. The day came to move and I told him and he couldnt have been more excited, we packed had the movers move our things and on our way we went. We got moved in, called the mother of his daughters and told her to bring them outside we had a surprise. The girls were ecstatic. Things were good for about a week. I got a letter and phone call telling me the he is on no trespassing and if he is caught at my apartment he will go to jail and I will be evicted. This is all over an argument that happened between him and the mother of his daughter back in 2011. A week after their argument they went down to the office talked with the management at that time(they have new management now) and was told all was ok and that he could be on the property. I know some of you are thinking isnt he on lease? No at the time that we moved I did not put him on there because he had a previous apartment complex that he owed some money so the plan was to pay that off with our income tax and then add him right after that which would have taken about two weeks from the time we moved. We got that paid off but our problem is the office is not willing to remove the no trespassing and will not speak to us about it at all. I have called, he has called, the mother of his daughters has called. They will not budge. So for the time being so no one gets in trouble he had to go stay with his sister 4 hours away and can only see his kids through facetime. Needless to say all 4 kids are hurting badly. My kids cry for their daddy, the girls cry for their daddy(per the mother of them). It is awaful. A complete nightmare to say the least. We used our tax money to move. To pay the fees to move in, the movers, paid off the apartment he owed, and were left with a few hundred dollars that we spent on our children. We are in a bad spot and I have tried every way possible to get him to be allowed here but they wont budge. Our only options is for him to continue staying four hours away or for us to move. Moving wouldnt be a problem except we just used all the extra money we had. I work but only get paid once a month and he had to lose his job due to having to move 4 hours away. He is looking for a job out there to save up money but of course that process takes sometime to get going. So my question is do any of you all have any ideas on how to fix the no trespassing issue or how to get money to move? I have tried getting a personal loan but am told I do not make enough money because of the rent, cable, lights, and cellphone bill that I am paying without help right now since he cannot be here and help me. He set up a GoFundMe page to try to get some help that way but I just dont know what else to do. I am not the type to ask for help or beg. I work for everything I have but I am also a full time student in school and do not make enough to do everything i need to right this moment. I keep my bills paid and my kids taken care of. My kids are young and do not understand the situation at all. All they know is daddy isnt here and they miss him. My heart is breaking for them and I dont know what to do. Please any suggestions are welcome. Please no bashing. This is very hard for me as I am very independent and hate asking for help or advice. I hate to feel weak.

Thanks for your time y'all.

by on Feb. 27, 2015 at 2:33 PM
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Replies (1-10):
by Bronze Member on Feb. 27, 2015 at 4:58 PM

I'm sorry to hear that your family is going through this. I don't have any experience in a situation like this.

by Platinum Member on Feb. 27, 2015 at 8:13 PM
He can't live there without being on the the money that is owed then Send certified letters to request he be added to the lease and about it being beneficial for the kids. Have ex do the same letter about the benefit.

Was there anything through the court? A no contact order? Domestic violence?

by Platinum Member on Feb. 27, 2015 at 8:16 PM
I doubt your lease says you can't have an overnight visitor. Him being there overnight shouldn't spur a tresspass notice. Read your lease
by Member on Feb. 27, 2015 at 8:39 PM
Per management in writing and over the phone I am not allowed to have him in my home or on the property at all. There was no domestic violence, no court order. Nothing other than a verbal argument no law enforcement involved just asked to leave and was given a letter(not even certified) to not come on the property 4 years ago that was supposedly dropped but per current management it never was dropped. As stated in the post the money was already paid for what he owed, that's not the issue. He cannot be added to the lease because of the no trespassing issue. Both myself and the other mother have talked with management here and their boss at corporate office. He has tried calling and asked to come in to just talk about the situation but they have told him no. I don't feel it's being handled in a professional or adult manner at all. I have read my lease but if he is on no trespassing there is nothing I can do. I have tried to contact a lawyer go see if there is any law concerning this as I'm sure there is however Im not getting any answers that way as of now. I have a few more to call and see if they can give me any answers.
by Member on Feb. 27, 2015 at 8:54 PM
No my lease does not tell me I cannot have an overnight guest however, the managers of the apartment complex have told myself and the mother of his daughters verbally and in writing that he is not allowed to be on the property and if caught on the property for any reason he can be taken to jail and if in either of our homes even if it is just to visit the children that we could be evicted.

by on Mar. 1, 2015 at 8:12 AM

As a Landlord I can tell you how disappointed I am in the Landlord.

by Platinum Member on Mar. 1, 2015 at 8:20 AM
I really not think you can do much. He isn't on the lease and the management can decide who they will and will not allow to rent.
by on Mar. 1, 2015 at 8:33 AM

so sorry you are going through all that

by Member on Mar. 1, 2015 at 8:39 AM

That must have been some verbal fight he had for this to have happened or for the new manager to even know about this.  If a lawyer cannot help you, I am not sure there is a suggestion we can give. 

by Gold Member on Mar. 1, 2015 at 9:06 AM
From the situation you described, and the fact that it was years ago, it doesn't make sense why they won't allow him there. They won't sit down with you at all to discuss?
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