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My kids are heartbroken and I'm pissed..... and broke!

Posted by on Mar. 15, 2015 at 8:23 AM
  • 83 Replies
I have six kids ages 3,5,7,8,10,14 years old. My children's biological father used to be a GREAT dad until 2 years ago when he got with his girlfriend who has 2 children by her ex boyfriend. Two years ago when their biological father got with his girlfriend,his actions towards the kids have drastically changed. Before he got with her he actually had something to do with his kids and now he does not. After he got with his girlfriend he started only seeing the kids 1 day a week for 3 hours and he completely stopped taking them to his house or anywhere for that matter even though he only lives 10-15 minutes away from me.... well,now he goes months without seeing them, he doesn't go to their school functions etc, he doesn't call them or even contact me to check on them,and when they were severely hurt or severely sick and had to be admitted into the hospital he never came or called (even when they were severely sun burned because of him and I had to rush them to the hospital with 2nd and 3rd degree sunburns he NEVER came to the hospital or called or helped with them during recovery). On the 1st he came over and informed me that he quit his job and hasn't found another one yet so I will not be receiving any further child support until he does find another job AND he also notified me that he is moving out of town. My kids are heartbroken and I'm wondering how I'm going to help them through this and I'm also wondering how I will manage without the extra income from the child support. Oh and to top it off, his girlfriend's kids tell my kids "he is OUR Daddy now and not yours, he doesn't love y'all anymore that's why he doesn't come and see y'all or anything" and when my kids biological father does stuff with his girlfriend and her kids like going out to eat etc.... his girlfriend's kids tell my kids where they went etc and tells my kids about ALL of the stuff that THEIR Daddy does with them and tells them that he never wants to take them or come see them because he doesn't love or want them anymore! I'm so sick of my babies being constantly hurt!
by on Mar. 15, 2015 at 8:23 AM
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Replies (1-10):
MusherMaggie
by Silver Member on Mar. 15, 2015 at 8:32 AM
Do you have any other family, anywhere? You need to get with social services and find out what benefits you and your children qualify for. No more contact with the father or the other children. Counseling for all of you. I don't know if there is anything that can be done legally if the two of you were never married.
Swampduck911
by Member on Mar. 15, 2015 at 8:38 AM
Myself and my kids biological father were married for 11 years, we went through the divorce and child support was ordered. My children's biological father and his girlfriend are saying that since he no longer has a job that he is no longer expected to pay child support until he gets another job.

Quoting MusherMaggie: Do you have any other family, anywhere? You need to get with social services and find out what benefits you and your children qualify for. No more contact with the father or the other children. Counseling for all of you. I don't know if there is anything that can be done legally if the two of you were never married.
Bmat
by Barb on Mar. 15, 2015 at 11:05 AM
2 moms liked this

Wow.  How heartbreaking for the children. To ease their pain, don't say anything against their bio father where there is any chance that they could hear. Make excuses for him.  If you show anger and hurt, they will feel even more confused and hurt.

The second problem is the lack of child support. Consult a lawyer to find out about whether he can get away with not paying if he quits his job. It doesn't seem right that this leaves you with no income. The lawyer should also be able to advise you about what other help you can get. Try to get a job if you don't have one already.

What an upsetting time for you and the children. :(

MamaLauri
by Member on Mar. 15, 2015 at 11:16 AM
1 mom liked this

Hugs Mama. I agree with Bmat, except I would not make excuses for him. Do not say anything bad about him. They need a parent they can trust.

Quoting Bmat:

Wow.  How heartbreaking for the children. To ease their pain, don't say anything against their bio father where there is any chance that they could hear. Make excuses for him.  If you show anger and hurt, they will feel even more confused and hurt.

The second problem is the lack of child support. Consult a lawyer to find out about whether he can get away with not paying if he quits his job. It doesn't seem right that this leaves you with no income. The lawyer should also be able to advise you about what other help you can get. Try to get a job if you don't have one already.

What an upsetting time for you and the children. :(


illogicalkat
by Gold Member on Mar. 15, 2015 at 11:24 AM
6 moms liked this

I'm sitting here laughing at how ignorant they are.

His child support is court-ordered, you say. He voluntarily quit his job. Even if he were laid off, the only thing he could do about child support is ask the court to adjust it, and in most states the court will estimate what he will make when he finds another job. He doesn't get out of paying just because he has no income. He is still obligated to pay every month. It will simply go into arrears while he is unemployed...and since he has no income, not even unemployment pay, it will just add up.

I know that doesn't help you right now, and doesn't lessen your kids' heartbreak any, but you should know that your ex is being an absolute idiot about all of this. As far as the court is concerned, his obligation to his children does not end just because he wants to act like an irresponsible teenager.

Quoting Swampduck911: Myself and my kids biological father were married for 11 years, we went through the divorce and child support was ordered. My children's biological father and his girlfriend are saying that since he no longer has a job that he is no longer expected to pay child support until he gets another job.
Quoting MusherMaggie: Do you have any other family, anywhere? You need to get with social services and find out what benefits you and your children qualify for. No more contact with the father or the other children. Counseling for all of you. I don't know if there is anything that can be done legally if the two of you were never married.


Hannahsmommy816
by Bronze Member on Mar. 15, 2015 at 9:27 PM
1 mom liked this
I say cut ties, sad as it may be. Imo, I wouldn't want my children to go through all that heartbreak!!
copperswifey
by on Mar. 15, 2015 at 9:45 PM

I agree! He might face jail time if he isn't paying. It might force him to get a job sooner. I will say a prayer for all of  you. Good luck and stay strong mama!  ~hugs~ 

Quoting Bmat:

Wow.  How heartbreaking for the children. To ease their pain, don't say anything against their bio father where there is any chance that they could hear. Make excuses for him.  If you show anger and hurt, they will feel even more confused and hurt.

The second problem is the lack of child support. Consult a lawyer to find out about whether he can get away with not paying if he quits his job. It doesn't seem right that this leaves you with no income. The lawyer should also be able to advise you about what other help you can get. Try to get a job if you don't have one already.

What an upsetting time for you and the children. :(


timon95
by on Mar. 15, 2015 at 10:01 PM

agree

Quoting copperswifey:

I agree! He might face jail time if he isn't paying. It might force him to get a job sooner. I will say a prayer for all of  you. Good luck and stay strong mama!  ~hugs~ 

Quoting Bmat:

Wow.  How heartbreaking for the children. To ease their pain, don't say anything against their bio father where there is any chance that they could hear. Make excuses for him.  If you show anger and hurt, they will feel even more confused and hurt.

The second problem is the lack of child support. Consult a lawyer to find out about whether he can get away with not paying if he quits his job. It doesn't seem right that this leaves you with no income. The lawyer should also be able to advise you about what other help you can get. Try to get a job if you don't have one already.

What an upsetting time for you and the children. :(



family car

Swampduck911
by Member on Mar. 16, 2015 at 12:39 AM
That's all I have been doing is making excuses and my 14 year old always tells the other kids that I am lying for him and that the truth is he doesn't give a crap about them :(

Quoting Bmat:

Wow.  How heartbreaking for the children. To ease their pain, don't say anything against their bio father where there is any chance that they could hear. Make excuses for him.  If you show anger and hurt, they will feel even more confused and hurt.

The second problem is the lack of child support. Consult a lawyer to find out about whether he can get away with not paying if he quits his job. It doesn't seem right that this leaves you with no income. The lawyer should also be able to advise you about what other help you can get. Try to get a job if you don't have one already.

What an upsetting time for you and the children. :(

Swampduck911
by Member on Mar. 16, 2015 at 12:43 AM
Yes I agree, they are sadly mistaken. He even tried lying to me.... he told me that he spoke to Attorney General and they told him that he is responsible of NOTHING since he has no job.

Quoting illogicalkat:

I'm sitting here laughing at how ignorant they are.

His child support is court-ordered, you say. He voluntarily quit his job. Even if he were laid off, the only thing he could do about child support is ask the court to adjust it, and in most states the court will estimate what he will make when he finds another job. He doesn't get out of paying just because he has no income. He is still obligated to pay every month. It will simply go into arrears while he is unemployed...and since he has no income, not even unemployment pay, it will just add up.

I know that doesn't help you right now, and doesn't lessen your kids' heartbreak any, but you should know that your ex is being an absolute idiot about all of this. As far as the court is concerned, his obligation to his children does not end just because he wants to act like an irresponsible teenager.

Quoting Swampduck911: Myself and my kids biological father were married for 11 years, we went through the divorce and child support was ordered. My children's biological father and his girlfriend are saying that since he no longer has a job that he is no longer expected to pay child support until he gets another job.

Quoting MusherMaggie: Do you have any other family, anywhere? You need to get with social services and find out what benefits you and your children qualify for. No more contact with the father or the other children. Counseling for all of you. I don't know if there is anything that can be done legally if the two of you were never married.

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