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What would you do? Help!!!

Posted by on Mar. 16, 2015 at 12:56 AM
  • 9 Replies
so this is pretty long story.... My husband and I have been together for 3 years. Well recently I've started thinking he was cheating on me but i dont know if it's me or just me being insecure about myself since I have gained so much weight. Well my husband and I were sitting at the car lot waiting for my car to be fixed and as I was talking to him he started texting a woman and said it was a girl that has a phone for sale but when I looked at his phone it was a different name than what he told me and he said that he must have accidentally hit the wrong name. So we got into an argument about it cuz it hurt my feelings that his mind is somewhere else while I'm trying to talk to him about moving. So we got into an argument about it and we talked it out kinda and I was still upset about it so I called my grandma to talk about it when he went to bed before work cuz we said that our feelings for each other we're starting to fade away cuz we have no time for each other. I was so upset I didn't want my marriage to end so I needed to talk to someone well he heard me talking and got up and took my car and left. Said he was gonna go to his friend James house to talk to him and his wife and then he was gonna go to work. Well he never cut his phone on the whole night and never went to work!!! (He said he told me before he left that he wasn't gonna go to work but I never heard that.) so I go out looking for him and can't find him anywhere my friend had to pick me up and I left our son at home with my mom. I couldn't find him and truly thought he was cheating on me cuz he said he would delete the girls numbers out of his phone(he works with these girls and I dont care if he has friends that are girls) to keep the stress away from us. Well I signed into his iCloud and he never deleted the one girl he said he deleted so I blow her phone up and think he is over there. He never came home that night!!! He said he stayed at his friend James house and slept on their couch. Never cut his phone on the whole night and hid my car on the other side of his house cuz he knew I would come looking for him. Well he called me the next morning and said he wanted to talk so when we got home we talked and I was gonna leave him but we decided to stay together even though I was still and am still kinda suspicious cuz he has never done anything like this ever!!!! Then I just made a new friend who's boyfriend works with my husband and she also used to work with him for a few days til she quit well she has told me how my husband has all these girls hugging him and how when she met him he didn't have his wedding band on and how he lied about how many kids he has (we have 1 he told them supposedly 3) and referred to me as his "baby mama" not wife. But this girl is cheating on her boyfriend and we have only been friends for a short amount of time. She said the kids thing infront of her boyfriend and he never said anything and told me where the girl supposedly lived so I question my husband about it and ask where his friend lives and he shows me the same house my friend told me the girl lived (my friends parents live in the same trailer park) so we get into an argument again. He said why won't u believe me why r u listening to her when she is the one running around on her boyfriend while he is at work. He said he would get that guys number and I could call and ask him if I was there at his house but i dont know if to believe the guy or not cuz they r work buddies... Recently I found out I could go on a computer and recover all text messages from my husbands phone... So my question is with all of this who would you believe... Your husband or friend and would u check his messages on the computer?? I mean he comes straight home from work and goes straight to work and never goes anywhere else hardly and has never done anything like this before.. I mean we do have a lot of stress on us we spend no time together we have 2 other adults (my brother and my mom) who don't work that we support plus our son. My husband is the only one who works. What would yall do???
by on Mar. 16, 2015 at 12:56 AM
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Replies (1-9):
Tckosdk.2012
by Bronze Member on Mar. 16, 2015 at 1:07 AM
1 mom liked this

I would do some more investigating. Get a copy of the text messages from your wireless provider or from your computer. Go from there. If there is any sexting I would tell him to leave. All of this sounds like he's disrespecting you & you deserve better.

Proudmomofaiden
by New Member on Mar. 16, 2015 at 1:09 AM
Okay I'm hopefully going to do that tomorrow but I just didn't know cuz he has never done this before the whole 3 years and what do I do if I don't find anything in his messages? Should I just drop it and believe my husband?

Quoting Tckosdk.2012:

I would do some more investigating. Get a copy of the text messages from your wireless provider or from your computer. Go from there. If there is any sexting I would tell him to leave. All of this sounds like he's disrespecting you & you deserve better.

MixedCooke
by Silver Member on Mar. 16, 2015 at 1:13 AM
1 mom liked this

get a job so that if things do go downhill you arent left without any means to survive on your own.

Tckosdk.2012
by Bronze Member on Mar. 16, 2015 at 1:16 AM

 I can't really tell you what to do but I found text messages in my dh's phone once. I told him to go live with his mom until I can get on my feet & reminded him that I can support myself & our dd without him. I had him in tears because he felt so bad about it & he know's I would leave if anything physical ever happened. Have a talk with him & be very sturn. Tell him that you will not tollerate this type of behavior & you will divorce him in a New York Minute if he ever screws up. Also remind him that Karma is a bitch & you can just as easily cheat on him, how would that make him feel? I've been with my dh for 10 years & recently we had our first baby, I also gained a bunch of weight due to a bunch of different things. I feel insecure that way because I used to be in great shape. We also both work & hardly see each other anymore. It's been a huge change for us. But in all honesty I'd rather be alone than be with a liar & a cheater. Remind your dh about the vows you took.

Quoting Proudmomofaiden: Okay I'm hopefully going to do that tomorrow but I just didn't know cuz he has never done this before the whole 3 years and what do I do if I don't find anything in his messages? Should I just drop it and believe my husband?
Quoting Tckosdk.2012:

I would do some more investigating. Get a copy of the text messages from your wireless provider or from your computer. Go from there. If there is any sexting I would tell him to leave. All of this sounds like he's disrespecting you & you deserve better.

 

Proudmomofaiden
by New Member on Mar. 16, 2015 at 1:19 AM
Im actually going tomorrow to give my id and everything for a weekend job just in case lol thanks

Quoting MixedCooke:

get a job so that if things do go downhill you arent left without any means to survive on your own.

Proudmomofaiden
by New Member on Mar. 16, 2015 at 1:22 AM
Okay thanks :) I'm going to look at his phone tomorrow then if I find anything I will leave him if not I think I'm gonna take my husbands word for it... Just a very scary situation and hurtful. I hate even thinking about having to do this and possibly loosing my family.

Quoting Tckosdk.2012:

 I can't really tell you what to do but I found text messages in my dh's phone once. I told him to go live with his mom until I can get on my feet & reminded him that I can support myself & our dd without him. I had him in tears because he felt so bad about it & he know's I would leave if anything physical ever happened. Have a talk with him & be very sturn. Tell him that you will not tollerate this type of behavior & you will divorce him in a New York Minute if he ever screws up. Also remind him that Karma is a bitch & you can just as easily cheat on him, how would that make him feel? I've been with my dh for 10 years & recently we had our first baby, I also gained a bunch of weight due to a bunch of different things. I feel insecure that way because I used to be in great shape. We also both work & hardly see each other anymore. It's been a huge change for us. But in all honesty I'd rather be alone than be with a liar & a cheater. Remind your dh about the vows you took.


Quoting Proudmomofaiden: Okay I'm hopefully going to do that tomorrow but I just didn't know cuz he has never done this before the whole 3 years and what do I do if I don't find anything in his messages? Should I just drop it and believe my husband?
Quoting Tckosdk.2012:

I would do some more investigating. Get a copy of the text messages from your wireless provider or from your computer. Go from there. If there is any sexting I would tell him to leave. All of this sounds like he's disrespecting you & you deserve better.


 

Tckosdk.2012
by Bronze Member on Mar. 16, 2015 at 1:29 AM

 I understand & I felt the same way. But like I said I'd rather be alone than be with a man I can't trust. I think I scared my dh & I haven't found anything since. I also made him let me text the girl he was texting, I told her that he was married & to stop texting him, then I made him text her apologizing because he's married. I think all of that embarrassed him but he did it for me. If you find any phone numbers call or text them.

Quoting Proudmomofaiden: Okay thanks :) I'm going to look at his phone tomorrow then if I find anything I will leave him if not I think I'm gonna take my husbands word for it... Just a very scary situation and hurtful. I hate even thinking about having to do this and possibly loosing my family.
Quoting Tckosdk.2012:

 I can't really tell you what to do but I found text messages in my dh's phone once. I told him to go live with his mom until I can get on my feet & reminded him that I can support myself & our dd without him. I had him in tears because he felt so bad about it & he know's I would leave if anything physical ever happened. Have a talk with him & be very sturn. Tell him that you will not tollerate this type of behavior & you will divorce him in a New York Minute if he ever screws up. Also remind him that Karma is a bitch & you can just as easily cheat on him, how would that make him feel? I've been with my dh for 10 years & recently we had our first baby, I also gained a bunch of weight due to a bunch of different things. I feel insecure that way because I used to be in great shape. We also both work & hardly see each other anymore. It's been a huge change for us. But in all honesty I'd rather be alone than be with a liar & a cheater. Remind your dh about the vows you took.

Quoting Proudmomofaiden: Okay I'm hopefully going to do that tomorrow but I just didn't know cuz he has never done this before the whole 3 years and what do I do if I don't find anything in his messages? Should I just drop it and believe my husband?
Quoting Tckosdk.2012:

I would do some more investigating. Get a copy of the text messages from your wireless provider or from your computer. Go from there. If there is any sexting I would tell him to leave. All of this sounds like he's disrespecting you & you deserve better.

 

 

Proudmomofaiden
by New Member on Mar. 16, 2015 at 1:33 AM
I will. Thank you. :)

Quoting Tckosdk.2012:

 I understand & I felt the same way. But like I said I'd rather be alone than be with a man I can't trust. I think I scared my dh & I haven't found anything since. I also made him let me text the girl he was texting, I told her that he was married & to stop texting him, then I made him text her apologizing because he's married. I think all of that embarrassed him but he did it for me. If you find any phone numbers call or text them.


Quoting Proudmomofaiden: Okay thanks :) I'm going to look at his phone tomorrow then if I find anything I will leave him if not I think I'm gonna take my husbands word for it... Just a very scary situation and hurtful. I hate even thinking about having to do this and possibly loosing my family.
Quoting Tckosdk.2012:

 I can't really tell you what to do but I found text messages in my dh's phone once. I told him to go live with his mom until I can get on my feet & reminded him that I can support myself & our dd without him. I had him in tears because he felt so bad about it & he know's I would leave if anything physical ever happened. Have a talk with him & be very sturn. Tell him that you will not tollerate this type of behavior & you will divorce him in a New York Minute if he ever screws up. Also remind him that Karma is a bitch & you can just as easily cheat on him, how would that make him feel? I've been with my dh for 10 years & recently we had our first baby, I also gained a bunch of weight due to a bunch of different things. I feel insecure that way because I used to be in great shape. We also both work & hardly see each other anymore. It's been a huge change for us. But in all honesty I'd rather be alone than be with a liar & a cheater. Remind your dh about the vows you took.


Quoting Proudmomofaiden: Okay I'm hopefully going to do that tomorrow but I just didn't know cuz he has never done this before the whole 3 years and what do I do if I don't find anything in his messages? Should I just drop it and believe my husband?
Quoting Tckosdk.2012:

I would do some more investigating. Get a copy of the text messages from your wireless provider or from your computer. Go from there. If there is any sexting I would tell him to leave. All of this sounds like he's disrespecting you & you deserve better.


 


 

a_and_j_momma
by Platinum Member on Mar. 16, 2015 at 1:49 AM
1 mom liked this
Good luck
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