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duel households and sharing

Posted by on Apr. 5, 2015 at 7:59 PM
  • 31 Replies
Hello,
I'm looking for advice on how other moms deal with this. My step daughter was with us half the day today. We have her 3 days a week and overnight once a week. She asked to bring her whole easter basket back to her mom's house. Instead I split it in half. Her basket included toys, clothes and earrings. I wished to keep it all at our house so she would have it when she is with us but I didn't want to be selfish. What do mom's/step mom's usually do when it comes to sending toys/clothes to the other home? I have been her step mom for 5 years and have always struggled with this. Her mother doesn't allow her to bring items to our house. Thank you
by on Apr. 5, 2015 at 7:59 PM
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Replies (1-10):
atlmom2
by Ruby Member on Apr. 5, 2015 at 8:02 PM
2 moms liked this

I am not a step parent but I would say depending on the age they should be able to choose what they take or leave.  It shouldn't be up to the parents.  

lilmama8408
by Silver Member on Apr. 5, 2015 at 8:07 PM
1 mom liked this
I come from a split home. We had clothes toys ect at each home and within reason could take certain things. But usually had to bring it back
hopefulmom99
by New Member on Apr. 5, 2015 at 8:09 PM
Atlmom2- when we allow her to take what she choses we end up with no clothes or toys here as she spends more nights with her mom and wants to bring everything there.
atlmom2
by Ruby Member on Apr. 5, 2015 at 8:11 PM

I understand clothes.  I was talking about the Easter basket and things like that.  That should be up to her where she takes it.  IF she ends up with no toys at your house, then she is SOL.  She will learn quick, oops, I better not take everything back and forth.  

Quoting hopefulmom99: Atlmom2- when we allow her to take what she choses we end up with no clothes or toys here as she spends more nights with her mom and wants to bring everything there.


hopefulmom99
by New Member on Apr. 5, 2015 at 8:16 PM
Quoting atlmom2:

I understand clothes.  I was talking about the Easter basket and things like that.  That should be up to her where she takes it.  IF she ends up with no toys at your house, then she is SOL.  She will learn quick, oops, I better not take everything back and forth.  

Quoting hopefulmom99: Atlmom2- when we allow her to take what she choses we end up with no clothes or toys here as she spends more nights with her mom and wants to bring everything there.



I agree, I wasnt concerned with the candy, it was the clothes, hair accessories and earrings that were in her basket. Unfortunately she hasn't learned yet about the lack of toys, she just ends up "bored". Her desire to bring the toys home outweighs her realization that she will be without any here.
bellawomen
by Bronze Member on Apr. 5, 2015 at 8:27 PM
2 moms liked this

I am new to the two household thing.  My son had a duffle bag at each house that he is free to take back and forth.  It is HIS stuff that was bought for him to enjoy, not just at my house, but all the time.  It isn't an issue for us.

My son prefers to bring his clothes to my house because he likes to wash them himself.  His dad's apartment has a community laundry facility while I have one in my place.  We have gaming systems are both houses, so my son takes games back and forth.  Why buy two?   If he doesn't have something at one house, he can go without for a few days or ask a parent to help him retrieve it from another house if it is important.  Afterall it isn't HIS fault that our marriage didn't work out and he shouldn't have to suffer because of it.

a_and_j_momma
by Platinum Member on Apr. 5, 2015 at 11:48 PM
We have clothes at each others houses and keep them there. If he happens to leave an outfit at either house we just send it back the next time.
Toys, he will take back and forth. If something doesn't come back, I just ask them to send it back or ask for it back when I pick him up from them. We live just up the block from each other so it is a non issue for us
momofsixangels
by Gold Member on Apr. 6, 2015 at 7:44 AM


Quoting atlmom2:

I am not a step parent but I would say depending on the age they should be able to choose what they take or leave.  It shouldn't be up to the parents.  

I agree.

motherofzandz
by Bronze Member on Apr. 6, 2015 at 8:03 AM

I agree with the others on toys and fun stuff she is old enough to choose. As long as she has  enough clothes at each house I would let the rest sort its self out and not stress it too much. 

Hannahsmommy816
by Bronze Member on Apr. 6, 2015 at 9:00 AM

i think half is reasonable. but maybe if her mom doesnt allow her to bring things to your house, same should apply? keep it separate?

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