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Tried to tell dh how i feel and he explodes

Posted by on May. 17, 2015 at 2:52 PM
  • 41 Replies
So i try to tell dh how i feel he is not contributing to his share of responsibilties with being a husband and a father and i dont think he understands at all or if he does understands he doesnt care.

I explained to him that even if i am a stay at home mom the kids and the house we live in is still 50/50, and not 20/95 all the time and that he should help me out.
He then explodes and says stand on your feet 8hours a day and deal with adult bull shit at work, and then come home to a wife who wants a husband to do chores she should do without getting a rest, and kids screaming.
I said ok look i do everything around this house excecpt mow lawn and snow blow which i still end up doing half of each.
I ask simple things like help with after dinner clean up, bring a up a load of laundry, or help your son with homework and on a rare occasion i ask to change a diaper because i cant as i am busy.
He tells me your a stay at home mom and its your job to do dishes, laundry, homework, clean house, dr appoitments.
I said i didnt make the kids on my own so that means they are half of your job, and i sure didnt buy the house alone that was also half and half which means chores should be divided half and half.
He said look on my day off i dont have to do chores or anything expect maybe mow lawn or snow blow but i get to sleep til whenever and do what i want.
I said i dont get to do anything i want and when i do i have to take a kid with me as i know you cant handle all three, and when i get home i know i will have a mess to deal with.
He then says see i should stay at work longer than i dont have to deal with a naggy wife.
I said maybe you should as you dont do stuff at home.
I am exhausted and tiree and stressed out all the time and he dont seem to get it.
by on May. 17, 2015 at 2:52 PM
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Replies (1-10):
notjstasocermom
by Bronze Member on May. 17, 2015 at 3:20 PM
I agree with him.
Readyforbaby2
by on May. 17, 2015 at 3:25 PM
I don't think it should be 50/50. He has a job and you have a job. I agree he should help, but definitely not 50/50.
Readyforbaby2
by on May. 17, 2015 at 3:26 PM
1 mom liked this
When is your day off?
Sounds like you guys might need counseling.
kaylahhh
by Member on May. 17, 2015 at 3:35 PM
Well it makes sense that he expects you to cook and clean. But he should help with the kids and give you a break once in awhile.. Its not fair that he gets days off and you don't.
3boys89
by Member on May. 17, 2015 at 3:35 PM
Ok but if i get this summer job that i have an interview for i will have more on my plate than he will.
The hours are from 1:30-5:30pm, then i come home two of those days i have to get kids to swim lesson and one will be late for theirs because it starts at 5:45 and ends at 6:15pm so will be rushing to that if i get this job. On top of that i will have laundry, house cleaning, dinner making and this job, but yet he wouldnt have to do 50 of the house work.

Quoting Readyforbaby2: I don't think it should be 50/50. He has a job and you have a job. I agree he should help, but definitely not 50/50.
atlmom2
by Ruby Member on May. 17, 2015 at 3:37 PM

He sounds like an ass.  Your job is 24/7 an his is 8 hours  a day 5 days a week.  

3boys89
by Member on May. 17, 2015 at 3:38 PM
I dont mind cooking or cleaning but i have homework duty, bed time duty and everything else under the sun i have to do and he cant help me at all.
He asks for help like to cut grass or snow blow and i do it, i ask for help and he argues or complains about it

Quoting kaylahhh: Well it makes sense that he expects you to cook and clean. But he should help with the kids and give you a break once in awhile.. Its not fair that he gets days off and you don't.
Readyforbaby2
by on May. 17, 2015 at 3:39 PM
That's a "if" though. I am talking in the now. "If" you get this summer job then he should help more. You will both have an outside of the home job.

Quoting 3boys89: Ok but if i get this summer job that i have an interview for i will have more on my plate than he will.
The hours are from 1:30-5:30pm, then i come home two of those days i have to get kids to swim lesson and one will be late for theirs because it starts at 5:45 and ends at 6:15pm so will be rushing to that if i get this job. On top of that i will have laundry, house cleaning, dinner making and this job, but yet he wouldnt have to do 50 of the house work.

Quoting Readyforbaby2: I don't think it should be 50/50. He has a job and you have a job. I agree he should help, but definitely not 50/50.
atlmom2
by Ruby Member on May. 17, 2015 at 3:39 PM

Have him watch the kids a whole day.  He REALLY needs an attitude adjustment and if he has NO idea what watching kids all day every day entails, he needs to know and find out.  He thinks you have it easy and it is not.  It is easier to work 40 hours a week than to watch your kids 40 hours a week.  I have worked and been a sahm.  It is easier to work than to stay at home with the kids.  

3boys89
by Member on May. 17, 2015 at 3:40 PM
It literally is because our 20 month old ds has night terrors at night a few times and i have to get up with him, and plus still get up in morning, babysit other kids, take kids to school, laundry, house cleaning, dr visits, after school sports, etc

Quoting atlmom2:

He sounds like an ass.  Your job is 24/7 an his is 8 hours  a day 5 days a week.  

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