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To harsh on them.

Posted by on Jun. 2, 2015 at 7:57 PM
  • 39 Replies
I am trying not to spank my boys any more and figuring out better ways to handle it and remain calm while doing it.
So today i put it into practice when both older boys who are 7 and almost 5 were naughty.
First was my 7year old. He chose to throw his food to our dog. I told him calmly that he was done eating and that he could stand in timeout with his hands up until i was ready for him to help me with the sweeping and for him to take the trash out and for homework.
He stood there and then i told him he could help with sweeping and trash taking out and then we can do homework. He had attitude and i said well maybe you will think twice before giving your dinner to the dog.
My almost 5year old was good until i told him he could play outside but he needs to stay in our yard. I noticed he was not in our yard so i asked dh to go see if he is at our neighbors house. And when dh brought him in my 5year old said i was by neighbors house, i said ok thanks for telling me the truth, but did i tell u could. He said no, and i calmly said ok now go sit on your bed until shower time and i call you down. If you get up or play there will be a bigger consequnce happening like all toys out of your room for 2 days.
I think i did well and i think and hope they got the hint
by on Jun. 2, 2015 at 7:57 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Bmat
by Barb on Jun. 2, 2015 at 8:11 PM
1 mom liked this

Very good that you are showing them that you mean what you say and that their actions have consequences!

You didn't ask, but I have a concern about the 7 year old having to stand with his hands up. This might be painful if held too long?   A minute a year is what I usually hear for time out punishments.  Just a couple things that I thought about when reading your message. I think you did very well indeed. :)

virginiamama71
by Gold Member on Jun. 2, 2015 at 8:25 PM

 not too harsh. I agree with the other Mom about holding his hands up for so long.

Linda_Runs
by Silver Member on Jun. 3, 2015 at 7:29 AM

Good parenting.

AbbeysMom2013
by Gold Member on Jun. 3, 2015 at 10:41 AM
I think that's great :) you are sticking to it and showing you mean business.
hugss
by on Jun. 3, 2015 at 10:42 AM

Sounds great!  Consistency is the key :)

Leahlenora81
by Member on Jun. 3, 2015 at 11:25 AM
1 mom liked this
This is good advice, the arms straight out is pretty hard on them, I watched my sister do that to her son and it just caused more problems because he was so busy trying to hold the stance that he forgot WHY he was in the corner in the first place. That's another kicker. When done in the corner get down on their eye level and have them look at you while you ask them if they understood why they were sent there. Have them repeat back the action and what you said the consequences would be if they did said action. It opens up the door for them to start taking responsibility for their actions. My youngest always tells me "but mom I didn't mean too :(" and I tell her the only thing you didn't mean to do Mel was use your listening ears. It's hard put eventually they learn the routine. Good luck momma!

Quoting Bmat:

Very good that you are showing them that you mean what you say and that their actions have consequences!

You didn't ask, but I have a concern about the 7 year old having to stand with his hands up. This might be painful if held too long?   A minute a year is what I usually hear for time out punishments.  Just a couple things that I thought about when reading your message. I think you did very well indeed. :)

sanj1213
by on Jun. 3, 2015 at 11:27 AM
I don't think that's too harsh, it's good parenting:)
splatz
by Bronze Member on Jun. 3, 2015 at 11:36 AM
1 mom liked this

I don't think I agree with the hands thing. But the rest sounds good! 

splatz
by Bronze Member on Jun. 3, 2015 at 11:39 AM

This is a really good point. If they don't understand why they are being punished then it isn't very effective. 

Quoting Leahlenora81: When done in the corner get down on their eye level and have them look at you while you ask them if they understood why they were sent there. Have them repeat back the action and what you said the consequences would be if they did said action. It opens up the door for them to start taking responsibility for their actions. My youngest always tells me "but mom I didn't mean too :(" and I tell her the only thing you didn't mean to do Mel was use your listening ears. It's hard put eventually they learn the routine. Good luck momma!


LaniBee
by on Jun. 3, 2015 at 11:46 AM

Good job. 

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