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What if you died.......

Posted by on Aug. 8, 2015 at 4:32 PM
  • 6 Replies

Am I the only one who thinks about this? I often wonder what will happen to my children if I would die. Not that I am dying or anything. I just wonder what kind of life would they have. I have DD9 and DS3. DH works all the time and he doesn't care for them like I do. I take them shopping for clothes/shoes, I cook each meal and make sure they have the nutrician they need, I make sure they get their baths and brush their teeth, I make sure homework is done and that studying has been done before each test. My list could just go on. DH basically knows nothing about the kids because he works all the time. I also think about would he have time for them, who would they spend their day with after school, who would pick them up from school, would his attitude get the better of him towards the kids. This list could also go on and on. I think about this more now then I have ever. I guess what triggered it was my last pap tested positive for the HPV virus. Not sure what has changed since i've been with DH for 11 years and havn't slept with anyone besides him. My GYN said it was possiable that I have carried the virus since before I met him but it's finally showing its face after years of being tested. Or DH has slept around and I just didn't find out. I know it's crazy to think about this but I was laying in bed last night and this is what kept me awake. I'm thinking about making a will but who at 29 has one?

by on Aug. 8, 2015 at 4:32 PM
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by Silver Member on Aug. 8, 2015 at 4:40 PM
I do and it scares me. My dh works full time and is in the military reserves so he goes tdy and deploys. I'm their primary care giver and do all household needs.

Our oldest is special needs and I'm his rock. Our other two are toddlers.

Dh often says he would remarry fast for help but I know this would be a major mistake. I'd hope MIL or SIL would come and help for a bit.

If we both passed they would go to my cousin who has a great job, home, good schools, and she fully understands my oldest sons needs
by Bronze Member on Aug. 8, 2015 at 4:48 PM

Honestly I think you need to sit down with DH talk to him about your concerns and I understand he works alot but he still needs to be there for you and the kids. He needs to know them and all their important info if you did go. Find out what his thoughts are. What would you do if he went? and so on. I do not have a will at this time but did with my ex. If I was to go now. My parents would help dh with the kids and if we both were to go my parents would get our kids. I thought about it when I got sick 2yrs ago and we talked about it. also wrote down all this kids medical and important info and put it with our important papers.

by Bronze Member on Aug. 8, 2015 at 4:56 PM
Dh would move in with my parents and the kids would go to public school. It would be a hard life since we've always been a team, but he could make it work.
by Ruby Member on Aug. 8, 2015 at 5:28 PM

My girls are adults now.  I would be sad if I didn't live to see them married since we are planning 2 weddings.  

by Bronze Member on Aug. 8, 2015 at 5:37 PM

 We had our wills written up right before our oldest son was born. You can't be too young.

 As far as worrying about the kids, I used to. I always knew that my husband would be there for them, but in a "guy" know, not much nurturing. I also know our families would be right there, to fill in the gaps. Our families are wonderful.

 Luckily, our children made it to adulthood with both parents. However, the worrying about other things never stops.

by on Aug. 8, 2015 at 5:43 PM
I'd be more concerned about your husband not caring for your children now than after you died.
Why doesn't he help care for his kids now?
My dh would be perfectly capable of raising the kids if I died. His only issue would be finding some sort of care for the kids since we've never had them in day care or hired a babysitter. We both have family that would help out as well.
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