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help needed from stayhome mums of three or more kids

Posted by on Oct. 29, 2015 at 4:14 PM
  • 31 Replies
Hi I am 25, happily married to my husband for 4 years and have three beautiful children. 2.5 years old son and 1.5 years old twins boy n girl. I am stay at home mum and as there is only 13 months gap between my kids they sure keep me busy. My husband works long hours and although he is very caring when he is at home, he isn't really at home a lot.
Now I have been feeling a lot of negative energy from people around me since I conceived the twins, including my family, his family and our friends. Everybody loves us I am not denying that, but it gets annoying and stressful when all you hear is talk like

There is too little gap
Twins were an accident
Be careful now
Kid's are suffering
You are too tired because you have too many kids

Basically anything and everything is about and because of my kids. Even my doctor thinks so. It's like my kids are some sort of disease.
Although I try to take no notice of these comments they nag me from time to time. It's not so bad as one person speaks but over the time it gets piled up and becomes a cloud that hangs over me.

Sooo, coming back to today, I am here to hear from some beautiful ladies who have lots of kids and are really happy in their skins. Please share some positively and secrets of your happiness. I love my kids and make a lot of effort in their good upbringing, but I am very low on self esteem .

Hugs and kisses and a pat on you back for doing a good job😊
by on Oct. 29, 2015 at 4:14 PM
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Replies (1-10):
by Member on Oct. 29, 2015 at 5:59 PM

I'm a SAHM of 4, aged 12, 9, 7, and 2, with 1 due in February.

I find that however many kids a person has, they consider any more than that number to be too many, too much, or impossible.  No one was happy about this baby on the way (very much planned, and also, the last).  People, from friends to family to random strangers out in public, feel free to voice their negative opinions on my family.  I usually respond with offering to let them pay my mortgage, as only when they're contributing to the household will their opinion carry any weight with me.

None of my kids are suffering because of the amount of siblings that they have.  Everyone is healthy, happy, and very busy.  My 12 year old plays soccer, owns 35 cows that he breeds and sells, and is in all Pre AP classes at school.  My 9 year old plays soccer and is active on Student Council at school.  My 7 year old plays soccer.  My 2 year old tags along for everything.

My husband works about 100 hours a week, so he's very rarely home.  When he is, he is helpful, but it's not often.  It's fairly easy to keep the house up because we are always on the go.  I'm on various charity boards and active in the kids' schools.  I don't have a babysitter, and I don't ask any friends or family to watch the kids.  Where I go, they go.  Where they go, I usually go as well.  This is a family.

It doesn't matter what anyone else things of the size or your family, or how you are raising your family, or taking care of your family, as long as you are doing it to the best of your ability.

I'm not a naturally happy person.  I have Bipolar Disorder and struggle with the depression end of that, badly.  But, my family is the one thing in my life that I have "done right," and that I do well.

by on Oct. 29, 2015 at 6:08 PM
Thanx for replying. I like your energy. and I agree that when my children are happy and healthy, nobody should be telling me otherwise.
by Gold Member on Oct. 29, 2015 at 8:42 PM

I have 5 kids at home and am a sahm. I admit there is some lacking on things on my part,But my kids are healthy.They are honoro roll students. My life is all about them. The 5 at home are 18,17,15,13 and 12.I get lots of comments but I have learned just to ignore them. I mean after all they are not the ones raising my kids I am

by Silver Member on Oct. 29, 2015 at 9:31 PM

Focus on what is important, you have wonderful healthy children and they are blessings.  I struggled and had 3 miscarriages and I was lucky enough to have two children.  I am so lucky and when I hear my friends struggling to get pregnant I realize that all the craziness and chaos is so worth it.

by Jeni on Oct. 29, 2015 at 9:56 PM
Hugs to you! There will always be people you have something to say. I was 19 and not married when I had my first.... lots of negative comments... got married while pregnant... more negative comments...then got pregnant again immediately after... more negativity. I'm poor and got pregnant with a 3rd, lost that baby and actually received comments of it being better that way cause we're poor... got pregnant again anyway and got more negativity.

That all being said I have 3 amazingly beautiful, happy, well cared for, polite, smart children... that their father and I love to an incredible extent. I don't regret a single moment I spend with them and don't allow anyone's negativity determine how I feel about MY family.
by Silver Member on Oct. 29, 2015 at 11:01 PM
I imagine having 3 kids so close in age can get tiring. I have 3 but they are 8, 3 and 1. And that is tiring for me. Lol have you told your family that their comments are not in any way supportive? I'm sure you didn't mean to have twins, but they are here and being negative about the situation isn't helping anyone.
by on Oct. 30, 2015 at 12:50 AM
I think that is a wonderful age gap, they will all grow up close. My kids are 20mos apart, they are very close to each other. I like close ages, nice and easy. All are still in diapers, can all be potty trained together. Kids are wonderful little blessings, as long as you knw that, who cares about the opinions of others.
by on Oct. 30, 2015 at 12:58 AM
I am a homeschooling SAHM of 5 ages 13,9,6,3, and a 5mo old. You are a busy intense stage of motherhood. Cut yourself some slack. You have been so blessed. There will be hard parts but they will also bring you more joy, reward, and love into your life. Some days we are in survival mode and some days we fly.
by Ivy on Oct. 30, 2015 at 2:10 AM
I have three 14, 12 and 10. They were born within 3 1/2 years, and we got our fair share of negative comments as well. It was hard, but I love how close in age they are.
by on Oct. 30, 2015 at 2:27 AM

Parenting 3 kids so close in age can certainly be challenging, but the blessings are greater than the challenges. Be happy with them and do what best you can as their mom. Please ignore others negativity – it’s your family.  

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