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Alcoholic dealing?

Posted by on Feb. 6, 2016 at 1:39 AM
  • 26 Replies

Hey ladies, 

So I just had a couple quesitons about any of the mothers in this group ever dealt with alcoholics as their significant other?

So basically what happened was I seen my ex and his new chick on the road, he looked happy, smiling etc. Genuinely happy?  Not so sure, because I know him and how he smiles.  Possibly though. But he still looked drunk.  He still looked completely like the guy that I resented for all those times he got drunk, and left. Quick recap, when we met he drank ALOT, every day.  He would drink to sleep because he has insomnia (BS LOL JK).  He slowed down ALOT, but it still wasnt enough.  It was like okay baby, i wont drink so i pass out M-F, but come friday night imma get drunk as shit. Kinda deal.  But the feeling I got when I saw him was disgust, all the times that he would rather be at a bar instead of at home, or at a friends bar, or friends house, or where ever it was, he would rather do all of that, before picking pumpkins with the kids, before coming home.  Im not trying to paint him out to be a bad guy, he just seemed to have drinking first than family, majority of the time. The good things that he did for my family and I didnt compare to the drinking.  A bit about me, I grew up with an alcoholic mother.  Its bad, a child shouldnt have to witness or go through that constant torment.  So I guess a little of that portrays on me, I see my dad and how unhappy he is with my mother and her actions.  And I just feel like life is to short to live it that way.  Theyve been married for 30+ years.  Anyways, to me it became an issue when I was uncomfortable going to family functions because of the past, he would always get drunk. To a point where Id ask him to NOT get drunk at the party lol..But my question is, has any one else been through anything like this before?  Im hoping to just get a little feed back from anyone who may possibly been through something like this before. I wish they kinda had an AA meetings for the women who dated the men like this lol, not quite sure that exist. I know im better off, and I know that it takes time to move on. I'll definitely get through it.

by on Feb. 6, 2016 at 1:39 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Pukalani79
by Ivy on Feb. 6, 2016 at 2:25 AM
What about Al Anon?
Ajulieanna
by Member on Feb. 6, 2016 at 4:56 AM
Hello I know about recovery of this disease and the daily struggle I aM married to a recovering addict there are meetings for you called alanon or narnon it sounds like you could really benefit from these meetings even though my hubby I clean I went to these meetings to help me learn and understand him he luckily "works" the program for just about 10 years. You can't change him and it's not your fault are the most important things to remember try a meeting like most things you may have to try different ones you mesh with as every meeting is different

Quoting MNSMamas:

Hey ladies, 

So I just had a couple quesitons about any of the mothers in this group ever dealt with alcoholics as their significant other?

So basically what happened was I seen my ex and his new chick on the road, he looked happy, smiling etc. Genuinely happy?  Not so sure, because I know him and how he smiles.  Possibly though. But he still looked drunk.  He still looked completely like the guy that I resented for all those times he got drunk, and left. Quick recap, when we met he drank ALOT, every day.  He would drink to sleep because he has insomnia (BS LOL JK).  He slowed down ALOT, but it still wasnt enough.  It was like okay baby, i wont drink so i pass out M-F, but come friday night imma get drunk as shit. Kinda deal.  But the feeling I got when I saw him was disgust, all the times that he would rather be at a bar instead of at home, or at a friends bar, or friends house, or where ever it was, he would rather do all of that, before picking pumpkins with the kids, before coming home.  Im not trying to paint him out to be a bad guy, he just seemed to have drinking first than family, majority of the time. The good things that he did for my family and I didnt compare to the drinking.  A bit about me, I grew up with an alcoholic mother.  Its bad, a child shouldnt have to witness or go through that constant torment.  So I guess a little of that portrays on me, I see my dad and how unhappy he is with my mother and her actions.  And I just feel like life is to short to live it that way.  Theyve been married for 30+ years.  Anyways, to me it became an issue when I was uncomfortable going to family functions because of the past, he would always get drunk. To a point where Id ask him to NOT get drunk at the party lol..But my question is, has any one else been through anything like this before?  Im hoping to just get a little feed back from anyone who may possibly been through something like this before. I wish they kinda had an AA meetings for the women who dated the men like this lol, not quite sure that exist. I know im better off, and I know that it takes time to move on. I'll definitely get through it.

Lindalou907
by Silver Member on Feb. 6, 2016 at 5:46 AM

I am separated from an alcoholic, although we are still under the same roof for a little while longer, one of the best days of my life was when I just threw up my hands and let him go. I quit nagging, and I let him drink from morning to night, and smoke like a chimney. I called all our adult kids and said I couldn't fix it, and they were very understanding. He mostly stays out in the guest apartment/ shop. He has a girlfriend and I am dating. We are reasonably friendly. But I guess if we divorce and he loses half our net worth he won't be! One reason I haven't filed is I still love him, like you would love a sick puppy. 

Apr1l
by Gold Member on Feb. 6, 2016 at 9:08 AM
1 mom liked this
that's the sad way of addiction. I hope for you two recovery.
Stevensmomma
by Bronze Member on Feb. 6, 2016 at 9:49 AM
Sorry to hear but go for counceling yourself so you can better understand
hugss
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by on Feb. 6, 2016 at 10:23 AM

Sorry to hear this,
I agree on the counseling for you though .. hugs to you :)

.Angelica.
by Silver Member on Feb. 6, 2016 at 12:06 PM
I've thankfully not been affected by addiction. So I have no advice to offer but wanted to give you a bump
momofsixangels
by Gold Member on Feb. 6, 2016 at 12:08 PM
I agree with getting counseling for yourself about this. Good luck and hope everything works out
Azure
by on Feb. 6, 2016 at 12:20 PM

I think Al Anon is a good idea for you. I'd limit contact with them as much as possible.

mikesmom65270
by on Feb. 6, 2016 at 12:32 PM

They do have meetings like you mention, it's called Al-Anon.

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