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Is there a way to tell a friend you don't like what she's cooked without hurting her feelings?

Posted by on Apr. 8, 2016 at 9:06 AM
  • 15 Replies

If I tell my friend that I don't like her creation, I'll hurt her feelings, but if I tell her I like it, then she'll keep spending time and money to make more. :/

edited to add:  I appreciate the feedback. I realize I was being ungrateful. She went to the trouble to make the item and share it with me, this is what matters.

by on Apr. 8, 2016 at 9:06 AM
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Replies (1-10):
luckyinlife
by on Apr. 8, 2016 at 9:08 AM
1 mom liked this
I say thank you. She put her time and effort in it. Be grateful and have some manners FFS.
Bmat
by Barb on Apr. 8, 2016 at 9:16 AM

Yes, this is what it boils down to, I can see.

I was worried that she'll continue to put time and money into making the item for me, but it is more important that I am grateful for her kindness.

Thank you!


Quoting luckyinlife: I say thank you. She put her time and effort in it. Be grateful and have some manners FFS.


SweetLuci
by Platinum Member on Apr. 8, 2016 at 11:11 AM
1 mom liked this

If you just say things like, Thank you for doing this. I really appreciate all the time you went to, and the ingredients must have cost you a lot...then she will realize you are grateful. Don't say you like it, just mention your appreciation. Later on, if she thinks about making it again, she may realize that you didn't ever say you like it, and will get the idea. But, if she doesn't, she may offer to make it again. If that happens, just say something like, my turn this time, I'll cook, or I don't want you to go to all that trouble again, how about something more simple like a salad or mention something else you know she makes. You can compliment her without lieing to her. She may at some time later bring it up, saying you didn't really like it, and you could say again that you appreciate all the trouble she went to, but stews aren't your favorite food (or whatever would be appropriate). You could also say you didn't love it, but you did like the fact that she thought enough of you to do it.

We used to take turns eating at our house, eating at their house. At our house, her husband would just go on and on about my food (and I wasn't that good a cook then, just learning,)  and at their house he would always complain about his wife's cooking, and there was nothing wrong with it.  One time he almost had her in tears, and then she served strawberry shortcake for dessert, which my husband doesn't like. But he not only ate it, he raved about it...said it was the best he's ever eaten, just heaped on the praise (don't think he's ever eaten it-he always told me biscuits were for breakfast-even if they were sweet  Lol) He later said he just couldn't stand him always complaining about her food...well guess what dessert we got every time we ate at their house from then on...yep strawberry shortcake...which was fine with me, but dh had a real problem,  he sucked it up...but he did learn a lesson.

anotherandree
by Inga on Apr. 8, 2016 at 11:21 AM
1 mom liked this
I would direct her in normal conversation towards something she does make that you do like.
Bmat
by Barb on Apr. 8, 2016 at 11:29 AM

:) about your husband. What a guy. He really came through for your friend. :)

She asked me right out if I liked it. It was a recipe she made up and she really wanted people to like it. So I said it was good. Now she very generously still gives the item to me. And I smile and thank her.

I really like your idea of saying this time it's my turn. This could work. :)

Quoting SweetLuci:

If you just say things like, Thank you for doing this. I really appreciate all the time you went to, and the ingredients must have cost you a lot...then she will realize you are grateful. Don't say you like it, just mention your appreciation. Later on, if she thinks about making it again, she may realize that you didn't ever say you like it, and will get the idea. But, if she doesn't, she may offer to make it again. If that happens, just say something like, my turn this time, I'll cook, or I don't want you to go to all that trouble again, how about something more simple like a salad or mention something else you know she makes. You can compliment her without lieing to her. She may at some time later bring it up, saying you didn't really like it, and you could say again that you appreciate all the trouble she went to, but stews aren't your favorite food (or whatever would be appropriate). You could also say you didn't love it, but you did like the fact that she thought enough of you to do it.

We used to take turns eating at our house, eating at their house. At our house, her husband would just go on and on about my food (and I wasn't that good a cook then, just learning,)  and at their house he would always complain about his wife's cooking, and there was nothing wrong with it.  One time he almost had her in tears, and then she served strawberry shortcake for dessert, which my husband doesn't like. But he not only ate it, he raved about it...said it was the best he's ever eaten, just heaped on the praise (don't think he's ever eaten it-he always told me biscuits were for breakfast-even if they were sweet  Lol) He later said he just couldn't stand him always complaining about her food...well guess what dessert we got every time we ate at their house from then on...yep strawberry shortcake...which was fine with me, but dh had a real problem,  he sucked it up...but he did learn a lesson.


Bmat
by Barb on Apr. 8, 2016 at 11:29 AM

Ah! Yes! She makes the most delicious cookies. I'll do this. :)

Quoting anotherandree: I would direct her in normal conversation towards something she does make that you do like.


mommyof11050307
by Bronze Member on Apr. 8, 2016 at 11:31 AM
1 mom liked this
My gf no matter what she does she's not a great cook. Her husband who used to be a chef refuses to teacher. We give her an a for effort but she knows she can't cook. When I lived next door to her they are at my house most nights.
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Bmat
by Barb on Apr. 8, 2016 at 11:44 AM

:)  Good for you!

Quoting mommyof11050307: My gf no matter what she does she's not a great cook. Her husband who used to be a chef refuses to teacher. We give her an a for effort but she knows she can't cook. When I lived next door to her they are at my house most nights.


mommyof11050307
by Bronze Member on Apr. 8, 2016 at 11:51 AM
1 mom liked this
My husband and I have attempted to show her how to cook and it never stuck. My husband can only cook chili and he showed her five times how to cook it and she still couldn't figure out how to make it. I've taught myself how to cook and somethings work out and some things don't.

Quoting Bmat:

:)  Good for you!

Quoting mommyof11050307: My gf no matter what she does she's not a great cook. Her husband who used to be a chef refuses to teacher. We give her an a for effort but she knows she can't cook. When I lived next door to her they are at my house most nights.

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Bmat
by Barb on Apr. 8, 2016 at 2:13 PM

It is surprising that with so much effort your friend still doesn't understand how to make chili.

I am self-taught also, but not a very good cook at all. My husband is very tolerant of my tries.

Quoting mommyof11050307: My husband and I have attempted to show her how to cook and it never stuck. My husband can only cook chili and he showed her five times how to cook it and she still couldn't figure out how to make it. I've taught myself how to cook and somethings work out and some things don't.
Quoting Bmat:

:)  Good for you!

Quoting mommyof11050307: My gf no matter what she does she's not a great cook. Her husband who used to be a chef refuses to teacher. We give her an a for effort but she knows she can't cook. When I lived next door to her they are at my house most nights.


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