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My kid (12yrs old) doesn't listen!! I need help!

Posted by on May. 8, 2016 at 3:10 AM
  • 37 Replies

I am a single mom, always have been..My daughter just turned 12 last week..we recently (2months ago)moved out of my parents basement and into our own apartment..I get that it's a big change..but my daughter is not listening to me or following any of the rules!  And I honestly dont know what to do. And she's eating EVERYTHING!!

I either work 845am-515pm or 515pm-1030pm..either which way I always make her a nice dinner...but, if she's by herself after school she will make a smoothie, have a granola bar, grabs a muffin from the freezer and whatever else she can find...and then I come home make dinner and she eats that too.  OR I make dinner, leave for work and at night she will do the exact same thing! And yet she knows the rules..ONE (healthy) snack after school and ONE snack before bed...

then..she's all into YouTube and watching pranks and dares and stuff..she likes to do little experiments...FINE if I'm home GO FOR IT! I do NOT want her doing these things when I'm not home because I don't want her to do something to cause an explosion, or have her hurt herself..or ya know, do,something stupid like the cinamon challenge and end up dying!! And yet she continues to do these stupid little experiments when I'm not home! Uuuuuuuugh! It is sooo frustrating! She's 12! I don't want to have to get her a babysitter..better yet, I can't afford one! But I don't know what to do!  

It seems like all we are doing these days is arguing and fighting with each other because she's not listening! She really only has one friend, so she doesn't really have a social life, so when she gets the opportunity to go hang out with people, I don't like taking that away from her..I do..sometimes, but she needs the socialization too...I take her phone away..but at the same time when I'm at work, she need the phone for emergencies..( we don't have a landline)  I just don't know what to do...whenever we talk about it..all she says is "I know" and "I will stop (eating)".... She knows she knows she knows! But yet NEVER changes! What can I do? 

by on May. 8, 2016 at 3:10 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Hannahsmommy816
by Bronze Member on May. 8, 2016 at 8:50 AM

ah teenage years..i have no idea, i hope she outgrows this all soon!

mama2b100808
by Ruby Member on May. 8, 2016 at 9:12 AM
1 mom liked this
The eating not sure will change she is a teenage and maybe a very active teen so she is hungry more. Idk but youtube stuff can be blocked till you are home.
SamZ123
by on May. 8, 2016 at 9:18 AM

Duct tape her to the wall? I really have no clue, I'm blessed with kids that listen (well except my 3 year old, he doesnt listen worth shit).

suomynona_amam
by on May. 8, 2016 at 9:18 AM
2 moms liked this
You could shut the wifi off. Or you could spend thirty bucks on a basic prepaid phone for when her phone is confiscated.
I would start taking her friend time away if she can't start following the rules about the no experiments when she home alone. I personally wouldn't punish her for eating the snacks unless she wasn't eating her meals because of it.
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karene999
by Member on May. 8, 2016 at 9:21 AM

put a lock on the cabinet so she can not get into snacks. If you can not trust her to be left alone, then talk to your parents about them watching her for you.

HunnyBabie
by Silver Member on May. 8, 2016 at 9:39 AM
2 moms liked this

When I'm having difficulty w/ one of my children, I try to think of how I was at that stage and try to think of what might have gotten me to do what I was supposed to do (especailly if I already knew what it was I was supposed to be doing).

Also, arguing with her is only going to make things worse.

As much as she isn't obeying you, maybe you're not listening to her either.

It sounds like you two need to have a family meeting and sort somethings out.  At 12 years old, she's probably ready to have some say in some things.  And if you've raised her right, then she's probably capable of making rational decisions.

May I say that now is a good time for the both of you to get on each other's good sides, to start moving forward as a team rather than at odds.  You're kind of setting up your lives for approximately how things are going to be when she's a teenager.

(((hugs))) and all the best to both of you! =)

AbbeysMom2013
by Gold Member on May. 8, 2016 at 10:12 AM
2 moms liked this
She seems a little young to be home all night by herself.

As far as the eating, she is growing. I wouldn't keep the surface snacks in the house you don't want her to eat. Maybe more fruits/veggies that are cut up and easy to grab and go.

As far as you tube, I would use one of the patent controls for her phone/internet acces until she can prove responsible, then you can allow acces to more things.
Stevensmomma
by Bronze Member on May. 8, 2016 at 10:22 AM
Lol
This was my thoughts too


Quoting Hannahsmommy816:

ah teenage years..i have no idea, i hope she outgrows this all soon!

ShaMac
by on May. 8, 2016 at 10:36 AM
This is really good advice. I would make sure the girl has outlets outside of YouTube. She would probably be better with the grandparents during work hours of that is an option.

Quoting HunnyBabie:

When I'm having difficulty w/ one of my children, I try to think of how I was at that stage and try to think of what might have gotten me to do what I was supposed to do (especailly if I already knew what it was I was supposed to be doing).

Also, arguing with her is only going to make things worse.

As much as she isn't obeying you, maybe you're not listening to her either.

It sounds like you two need to have a family meeting and sort somethings out.  At 12 years old, she's probably ready to have some say in some things.  And if you've raised her right, then she's probably capable of making rational decisions.

May I say that now is a good time for the both of you to get on each other's good sides, to start moving forward as a team rather than at odds.  You're kind of setting up your lives for approximately how things are going to be when she's a teenager.

(((hugs))) and all the best to both of you! =)

Bmat
by Barb on May. 8, 2016 at 10:43 AM

She is entering the teens, so make sure she has nutritious stuff around to eat, she will be extra hungry for this time.

For behavior:  It would be good to figure out something now. For one thing don't let her talk rudely to you. Remember that you are her parent, you are not her friend. So expect heavy sighs, glares, muttering. You still hold the car keys, so perhaps removing privileges of going places would help, or taking her someplace as a treat when she is being polite. She can still argue with you as long as it is done in a respectful manner by both of you. and you have the final decision.

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