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He cant be F******** Serious

Posted by on Sep. 7, 2016 at 2:08 AM
  • 30 Replies

Sorry long vent 

When our daughter was 6 months my ex decided that his then girlfriend & her daughter was more important than ours and basically was a no-show. For the next two years he would show his face for a weekend every 4 to 6 months but after taking him to court for child support he started showing up once a month. Six months of doing this he comes to me and says he want to see our daughter more but can't afford to stay in a hotel multiple times a month so can he pay me a few dollars to stay at my house so he can see our daughter more. I tell him okay keep the money as long as he's paying child support he can stay by me no fee so now he can be there every other weekend like our parental agreement states. He's consistent for a little bit then over the last 3 months he kind of shows up some time within the two weeks I started to get really annoyed because I would make plans and have to cancel them because he wouldn't give me notice about his change of schedule and just kind of call me randomly and say I'll be there Tuesday to Thursday or whatever so now this weekend I read him the riot act and tell him he has to prioritize his child he supposed to be here every other weekend he needs to make that a priority no matter what and I just left the conversation at that. His mother decides to call me and asks to pick up my daughter and take her to him which is about 350 miles away I told her not unless he can guarantee that she'll be back by Tuesday when school starts because well she's starting school this year. This crazy broad goes off into a tangent about how I'm living in squalor (my apartments under construction) and threatens to call ACS on me I just hung up the phone called him and basically told him if he has a problem with my living situation he does not need to stay at my apartment anymore. Now don't get me wrong I'm not mad at her cuz she's the crazy Broad I'm pissed that he had the audacity to half ass be a dad staying in my house not have to pay a single dime then go home (because yes he lives with her) and talk about me like a DOG after all I've done for him and allowed him to get away. I'm just so pissed right now both his dad and his mom are calling to apologize I don't want to talk to nobody screw that fake a** apology. Now he has to grow up and figure out how to be a man and how he's going to see his child on a regular basis I'm no longer going to be his crutch if you can't respect me after all the s*** that I've done to make it possible for you to be in your daughters life then I don't need to do s*** for you because I am done.

by on Sep. 7, 2016 at 2:08 AM
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Replies (1-10):
SueSahara
by Member on Sep. 7, 2016 at 7:34 AM

I know my family was so pissed when i started letting him stay at my house (for free at that) but all I could see was how excited and happy she was to have her father in her life.  

Quoting Sabbie809:

I'm sorry that your husband asshole .... I understand that you are trying to maintain good relations with him, but it might be worth it sometimes to show the character?


dawncs
by on Sep. 7, 2016 at 8:17 AM

They both need to grow up. There are mandatory school attendance laws out there. The school will not side with him because they have loads of students with single and divorced parents. You are teaching your beautiful daughter to value education which is important. If he really cared about his daughter, he would not have been so inactive in her life when she was younger.

Dawn
Asperger Syndrome Published Author and Blogger
Asperger Syndrome diagnosed May 1997 as an adult
My Author Blog 
My Author Website

SueSahara
by Member on Sep. 7, 2016 at 10:25 AM

I know but honestly he did me a favor not being there me and my daughter are SOOOO close. I think I made it too easy he had to barely make an effort he just had to show up at the scheduled time and he couldnt even do that correctly

Quoting dawncs:

They both need to grow up. There are mandatory school attendance laws out there. The school will not side with him because they have loads of students with single and divorced parents. You are teaching your beautiful daughter to value education which is important. If he really cared about his daughter, he would not have been so inactive in her life when she was younger.


dawncs
by on Sep. 7, 2016 at 11:05 AM

You wanted to do right by your daughter in letting them have a relationship. Both are out of touch with reality, and they should have checked with you with the school schedule if they were serious instead of treating you horribly. The schools take it more seriously about kids missing too much school these days compared to when we were growing up.

Quoting SueSahara:

I know but honestly he did me a favor not being there me and my daughter are SOOOO close. I think I made it too easy he had to barely make an effort he just had to show up at the scheduled time and he couldnt even do that correctly

Quoting dawncs:

They both need to grow up. There are mandatory school attendance laws out there. The school will not side with him because they have loads of students with single and divorced parents. You are teaching your beautiful daughter to value education which is important. If he really cared about his daughter, he would not have been so inactive in her life when she was younger.


Dawn
Asperger Syndrome Published Author and Blogger
Asperger Syndrome diagnosed May 1997 as an adult
My Author Blog 
My Author Website

KenneMaw
by Bronze Member on Sep. 7, 2016 at 11:08 AM

Sorry for the drama.

midjet117
by Member on Sep. 7, 2016 at 11:34 AM
I woulda flipped a lid too. But in the same token, I wouldn't have canceled plans that I had neither. Primarily because he feels that he can just be a dad whenever. Shame on that man for living at home and still not being able to put money away for a motel
mama2b100808
by Ruby Member on Sep. 7, 2016 at 11:45 AM

Oh yeah I totally agree. :) 

Quoting dawncs:

They both need to grow up. There are mandatory school attendance laws out there. The school will not side with him because they have loads of students with single and divorced parents. You are teaching your beautiful daughter to value education which is important. If he really cared about his daughter, he would not have been so inactive in her life when she was younger.


SueSahara
by Member on Sep. 7, 2016 at 12:31 PM

Yeah I think the fact that I had both an awesome dad & stepfather I wanted my daughter to have that in her life and she LOVES her father but it is not my job maintain that relationship between them. He doesn't care about school because he doesn't have to pay for it and if she misses a certain amount of days during the year she will be kicked out which of course would only effect me and my finances.

Quoting dawncs:

You wanted to do right by your daughter in letting them have a relationship. Both are out of touch with reality, and they should have checked with you with the school schedule if they were serious instead of treating you horribly. The schools take it more seriously about kids missing too much school these days compared to when we were growing up.

Quoting SueSahara:

I know but honestly he did me a favor not being there me and my daughter are SOOOO close. I think I made it too easy he had to barely make an effort he just had to show up at the scheduled time and he couldnt even do that correctly

Quoting dawncs:

They both need to grow up. There are mandatory school attendance laws out there. The school will not side with him because they have loads of students with single and divorced parents. You are teaching your beautiful daughter to value education which is important. If he really cared about his daughter, he would not have been so inactive in her life when she was younger.


SueSahara
by Member on Sep. 7, 2016 at 12:37 PM
1 mom liked this

Unfortunately I had to cancel my plans all my sisters have officially moved out of state so I don't have any babysitter's anymore but I am looking into finding a pay per hour sitter so I can do small things and just go back to not really going out like I was doing before he came back into her life. It was nice being able to hang out but not a necessity and my finances cant really take the hit a long term sitter would cost.

Quoting midjet117: I woulda flipped a lid too. But in the same token, I wouldn't have canceled plans that I had neither. Primarily because he feels that he can just be a dad whenever. Shame on that man for living at home and still not being able to put money away for a motel


Mom2Just1
by Mom2boys on Sep. 7, 2016 at 5:16 PM

I would set ground rules-like giving ou 24 hour notice.

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