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Need quick advice about mean kid!

Posted by on Oct. 27, 2016 at 10:24 AM
  • 12 Replies
My 4 year old has never learned to cover his emotions, even slightly. If he doesn't like you, he says it straight up. I have tried working with him on this with very little progress. He strongly dislikes the twin 4 year olds belonging to my good friend. I avoid getting them together when possible because my kid will usually start crying and saying how he doesn't like them whenever we see them. My friend keeps inviting us to hang out and I have declined each time, but today, I agreed to help her out with a favor by watching her boys for a couple hours this afternoon. Often, i give him time out or remove privileges to convince him to calm down and stop being mean to the other boys, but by this point he has already said hurtful things. What should I do?
by on Oct. 27, 2016 at 10:24 AM
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Replies (1-10):
OwlNuggets
by Member on Oct. 27, 2016 at 10:28 AM

Continue sending him to timeout for undesireable behavior, reiterate to the other children that "Not everyone has to like everyone, but we have to respect each other and anyway, *I* like you!"

Encourage group activities that require participation and playing nicely. Your son most certainly won't want to be left out, so in order to be included he must be nice.

YourMajesty81
by New Member on Oct. 27, 2016 at 10:33 AM
1 mom liked this
You need to socialize your child and may need professional help to do so. He needs sensitivity/ empathy training before it's too late.
lucky2Beeme
by Platinum Member on Oct. 27, 2016 at 10:33 AM

Repeat " We treat people with kindness. " Make him repeat it like a million freakin times. Ask him how he would feel if you were mean to him ? Role play and let him feel the hurt he is causing others.

I also agree with owls ideas.

mountainlaurel
by Member on Oct. 27, 2016 at 10:49 AM
Yes, i have tried many of these things. Role play is a good idea I haven't thought of. He struggles with social situations in general, and his preschool teacher is working with him to get him to interact with more than just the 2 kids he wants to play with. He is small for his age but seems more verbally inclined than any of the other boys, so when he tries to engage them in a discussion, they usually respond in some physical way.
virginiamama71
by Gold Member on Oct. 27, 2016 at 10:50 AM
I agree with this.
Timeout is not working .

Quoting YourMajesty81: You need to socialize your child and may need professional help to do so. He needs sensitivity/ empathy training before it's too late.
mountainlaurel
by Member on Oct. 27, 2016 at 11:10 AM
Is it that unusual for a kid to be socially awkward at 4? Professional help? My older child was really shy at this age and never wanted to play with other kids unless we knew them realy well. She's very normal now and has many friends. I assumed his social issues were similar to shyness with a touch of his grandma's tell-it-like-it-is attitude. Do you really think its more troublesome than that?
atlmom2
by Ruby Member on Oct. 27, 2016 at 11:39 AM

Continue to discipline him but he may need counseling if nothing is working.  He sounds like a total bully at 4 years old.  How long has he been doing this and how long have you been trying to curb this issue?  If this isn't fixed by school age he will probably be in trouble daily and you don't want that.  He won't have any friends either and that won't be good.  

emarin77
by Silver Member on Oct. 27, 2016 at 12:08 PM

Let the mother know and the reasons why you say no to your invites.

Mom2Just1
by Mom2boys on Oct. 27, 2016 at 12:44 PM
My middle
Child is tell like it is. but I've also taught him to use nice words.
ablackdolphin
by Gold Member on Oct. 27, 2016 at 5:06 PM
You need to be careful. What if intuition is at play? You are then teaching him not to listen to it. What if the other boys really are mean to him? Do not force him and give him safe space to be away from them.
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