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MIL Help!

Posted by on Nov. 28, 2016 at 3:09 PM
  • 21 Replies
I'm at a loss about what to do at this point so any help is great. My son is 5 years old and I recently moved closer to my husbands family because they were missing their first grandchild grow up. Now I work only 9 hrs a week and I wanted to have my MIL be the one to watch him because she's the one that's been begging us to move for yrs. She also watches her own daughters child 5 days a week for 9 hrs a day. I understand that I should compensate her for watching him and I want to, but she wants us to pay the same amount a week as her daughter which I find alittle unfair considering the amount of time and that her daughters child is 1 and mine is 5 and is very well behaved compared to a baby that needs everything done for her. And the fact that she's asking for this seems alittle crazy considering she's seen him twice a year and I'm essentially paying her to hang out with her grandchild. I almost want to just hire someone else because if I agree to this... what's next.
by on Nov. 28, 2016 at 3:09 PM
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Replies (1-10):
chicken13
by Bronze Member on Nov. 28, 2016 at 3:27 PM

Well....kinda depends on how much she is charging your SIL.  Is she just asking for a minimal amount?  or practically a daycare fee?

lyrick24
by Bronze Member on Nov. 28, 2016 at 3:35 PM
1 mom liked this

theres no way i would pay her the same amt. that is not being fair. hire someone else.

CandanceMom777
by Member on Nov. 28, 2016 at 3:39 PM
Alittle less than a daycare.

Quoting chicken13:

Well....kinda depends on how much she is charging your SIL.  Is she just asking for a minimal amount?  or practically a daycare fee?

chicken13
by Bronze Member on Nov. 28, 2016 at 3:40 PM
1 mom liked this

Well...then find someone else and when she asks be candid.

Quoting CandanceMom777: Alittle less than a daycare.
Quoting chicken13:

Well....kinda depends on how much she is charging your SIL.  Is she just asking for a minimal amount?  or practically a daycare fee?


illogicalkat
by Gold Member on Nov. 28, 2016 at 4:00 PM
1 mom liked this

First, make sure your husband tells her that she is being unreasonable.

Second, find alternate care. It's usually best to have child care you can fire without causing family drama. And it's especially important that your childcare provider does what you want, not what she thinks is best. If you hire a professional babysitter/nanny or find a spot in a daycare setting, you'll have that. With grandmothers, often (not always, but often enough) there's an attitude of "I raised three kids and my other grandchild, I know more than you". And from her current request, it appears there is a real risk of this happening.

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by on Nov. 28, 2016 at 4:26 PM
1 mom liked this

I would not pay the same amount,
Good luck :)

virginiamama71
by Gold Member on Nov. 28, 2016 at 4:45 PM
I wouldn't hire someone for 9 hours a week. Your husband can talk to her about this since the child is older and is spending time with her and the other one is there longer and requires more care.

What type of work for 9 hours a week?
Does your child go to school?
Oliviasmom72
by Bronze Member on Nov. 28, 2016 at 4:58 PM

She wants to charge you for only 9 hours a week? That is totally greedy. Did she want you to move so that she can be hired as a babysitter? Really?? I would hire someone else. Is it worth it for you to even work that few hours? I would tell her you are surprised she is charging almost rates as a normakl babysitter for so few hours so you will go ahead and make other child care arrangements but thanks anyways.

anotherandree
by Inga on Nov. 28, 2016 at 5:55 PM
3 moms liked this
I've read articles that when grandparents become caregivers, then family dynamics change bc it's not the typical grandparent/grandchild relationship. She will now get a say in how your son is raised and disciplined and if she was "an employee" there would be a higher level of respect. Having a grandparent watch for more than the occasional babysitting is asking for trouble.
Mom2Just1
by Mom2boys on Nov. 28, 2016 at 5:56 PM

I would hire someone else.

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