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Is this a him thing a guy thing or what?

Posted by on Jan. 13, 2017 at 1:27 AM
  • 80 Replies
So the kids got a snow day and they've been watching the weather all day hoping for one tomorrow and got their wish... they also have Monday off because of MLK Day. Older son 14 got excited and said wholly cow we've got a five day weekend thanks to snow and younger son 13 gets stoked when he realizes what his brother is saying... hubby, stepdad, makes a comment about how he's jealous because he's only got one whole day off this week... he goes on for a minute then I say okay okay stop being grouchy dad let the kids bask in the sunshine that is no school ... he says no I won't it's bs- I'm like ha whatever but then he starts about how he had a job at that age and worked blah blah ... he was already being crabby about the kids not eating every bite of dinner wasting our money picking around food they didn't want (13 year old didn't want the peas and carrots) I agreed as far as just eat your food it's too old to be a baby about it. Just eat it. Anyways. I get annoyed not mad but just like enough and told hubby to stop and that he always complains about people complaining but could make a career out of it and said something like just one night without finding something to get upset about ... he ended up going to our room and closing the door.

Normally I'd follow him and try to make peace but I didn't feel like I didn't anything wrong. We are adults I don't complain when he's not working home relaxing and I'm cooking cleaning and running errands... kids live for off days of school and we just moved to where there's snow so this is their first experience with snow and snow days ... they feel like they struck gold.

Anyways, was I wrong to stop him from guilting the boys and taking their excitement away? They're re only kids once. FYI they're good boys don't get in trouble or cause is grief other than being hormonal and teenagers lol. Also we grew up in snowy weather and got snow days too when we were kids.

Update : I sent him an email this morning after he left for work... it was pretty long but I felt like I needed to address the fact that he's kinda taking away whatever little joys we can have basically because he's mad the kids are kids and pointing out that he's the example to the kids on how to treat a spouse, kids and themselves. This is the only family unit the kids have ever known and the only personal reference they will have. Anyways I went in the computer to see if maybe he hadn't checked email yet and it shows opened and he moved it to the trash bin! I'm kinda laughing like you're a big baby and kind of mad that he didn't feel compelled to apologize or address the issue.

He just got done apologizing profusely for a different incident that happened with us going out and leaving me in a vulnerable situation- not typical but I called him out on it and he felt truly awful and called me so many times to apologize. I accepted it. All he could do is apologize and promise to not let it happen again and he did so I moved on... but maybe he's taking out how crappy he feels on everyone two goof ups twice in one week ... massive fumble. I don't know. I talk to the kids and I'm letting it go at that. They're over it and know they aren't at fault for how he's feeling.
by on Jan. 13, 2017 at 1:27 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Bringkindness
by on Jan. 13, 2017 at 1:53 AM
Anyone?
vettechmom88
by Member on Jan. 13, 2017 at 2:18 AM
3 moms liked this
No you weren't wrong at all, he was being an ass. He really should feel ashamed of himself, and there is no way I'd apologize for trying to make him see that.
Just because his childhood ended early with a job, etc and he has adult responsibilities now doesn't mean he can be mean to the kids because he's jealous they get a couple days off and he doesn't- does he even HEAR himself? They're KIDS, with their first snow, of course they'll be excited! He's being ridiculous and is out of line.
You might want to repost this during the daytime hours, too, you'll get more replies. Good luck, I hope he changes his attitude soon.
MixedCooke
by Silver Member on Jan. 13, 2017 at 3:24 AM
1 mom liked this

He is a grump.  Ours had a half day Thursday and Friday is a teacher planning day and they get Monday as well.  I wonder if our teacher planning days mirror some of your snow days in order to even things out regionally?  In South Florida, we definitely dont get "snow days" but I dont remember having as many days off when I was going to school.

Bringkindness
by on Jan. 13, 2017 at 7:10 AM
1 mom liked this
I text his mom last night asking what jobs he had so young... even for our generation working the way he makes it sound was not possible unless he didn't go to school and I know he did lol. His mom said in 8th grade he had a paper route for a few months and then when he was 16/17 he got a part time job...

I didn't say anything yet. I think I'm going to email him... talking/texting things can come out wrong or too harsh and getting each other defensive won't help.

Men can make you feel crazy sometimes ...

Quoting vettechmom88: No you weren't wrong at all, he was being an ass. He really should feel ashamed of himself, and there is no way I'd apologize for trying to make him see that.
Just because his childhood ended early with a job, etc and he has adult responsibilities now doesn't mean he can be mean to the kids because he's jealous they get a couple days off and he doesn't- does he even HEAR himself? They're KIDS, with their first snow, of course they'll be excited! He's being ridiculous and is out of line.
You might want to repost this during the daytime hours, too, you'll get more replies. Good luck, I hope he changes his attitude soon.
jcm3
by on Jan. 13, 2017 at 7:15 AM
I swear men get their own monthly periods
Bringkindness
by on Jan. 13, 2017 at 7:15 AM
Oh gosh we definitely didn't get as many days off but we also didn't start school the 2nd week if August either ... when I was in school we started September after the holiday and got out the first couple days of June. Now they get out a week or two into June and start back- well this year August 17... my birthday lol- last year the 14th... so summers are shorter and school year goes longer with more breaks... although we use to get long winters and spring breaks ... I don't know it's all different!!!

He is a grump! It's so silly for him to get mad at kids for being kids... really frustrated.

Quoting MixedCooke:

He is a grump.  Ours had a half day Thursday and Friday is a teacher planning day and they get Monday as well.  I wonder if our teacher planning days mirror some of your snow days in order to even things out regionally?  In South Florida, we definitely dont get "snow days" but I dont remember having as many days off when I was going to school.

Winealittle1047
by Member on Jan. 13, 2017 at 7:16 AM
1 mom liked this
He sounds like he's being a brat! It's not a proud moment but my husband will do this if the whole family is out to lunch or at the beach and he is stuck working .
Bringkindness
by on Jan. 13, 2017 at 7:20 AM
Doesn't it just make everything feel crappy? It's gotten to where I intentionally don't do things like that so we don't have to hear pouting... don't get me wrong the kids are by no means suffering or going without but I wish we could not have to have things layered with guilt... when the kids are off are we suppose to just make them work the whole time. He took last week off he wasn't exactly slaving away! Kids need to blow off steam too from school ... I'm up with him in the morning and the last one to bed every night ... when they all get to sit around watching tv playing on their phones while I cook and clean I'm not throwing a fit... ugh. Idiots. Lol.

Quoting Winealittle1047: He sounds like he's being a brat! It's not a proud moment but my husband will do this if the whole family is out to lunch or at the beach and he is stuck working .
Bringkindness
by on Jan. 13, 2017 at 7:22 AM
His comes too often then lol! He's a hard working provider and loyal but damn if he doesn't suck the joy out of a moment sometimes. How do I say that without sounding mean or hateful???

Quoting jcm3: I swear men get their own monthly periods
jcm3
by on Jan. 13, 2017 at 7:50 AM
I would just ask him to please be nice when other people are in a happy mood. It's not nice to suck the joy out of his own kids

Quoting Bringkindness: His comes too often then lol! He's a hard working provider and loyal but damn if he doesn't suck the joy out of a moment sometimes. How do I say that without sounding mean or hateful???

Quoting jcm3: I swear men get their own monthly periods
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