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Rut or routine

Posted by on Jan. 13, 2017 at 7:22 AM
  • 21 Replies
Within the past several months, my husband and my weekend routine has been same. Usually on Saturdays we get up and go to the gym followed by salads at Ruby Tuesdays then run some errands and grocery shop. On Sundays we always stay around the house and grill steaks.

At first I was thinking we were getting into a rut. But then I really thought about it, is it a right if it is a routine we both enjoy? I actually look forward to our weekends.

Do you and your husband have any weekend routines? has your marriage ever got into a rut?
by on Jan. 13, 2017 at 7:22 AM
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Replies (1-10):
wandep
by on Jan. 13, 2017 at 8:17 AM

We still have kids around so we are always busy. Usually Saturday is grocery shopping day. lol

Hannahsmommy816
by Bronze Member on Jan. 13, 2017 at 8:23 AM
1 mom liked this

i dont think it's a "rut" then, you both look forward to it!

i think from time to time we get tired of the same old thing, so we take time to ourselves to do something we havent done in awhile. Mine was Zumba last night! i don't go often, last time was almost 3mos ago, but feel so much better when I do. I usually bring 1-2 of my girls with me too.

Weekends are me working part time, and activities for the kids..piano and soccer. so we do things around those, go to bday parties, get to the library etc. I HATE grocery shopping on the weekend unless it's at night. SOOOO many people, makes grocery shopping not fun!

chicken13
by Bronze Member on Jan. 13, 2017 at 8:52 AM

A rut is something you are stuck in AND want to get out of....so if you like the routine, then it's not a rut at all.

Are weekends are consistently crazy busy...but it's not always the same old same old.  

sunshinepraying
by on Jan. 13, 2017 at 9:30 AM

Weekends we just try to relax. I love it..no stress or having to go to a lot of places.

sunshinepraying
by on Jan. 13, 2017 at 9:31 AM

I wouldn't say you're in a rut if you enjoy it. I'd think of a rut of something you always do but don't enjoy or want to change.

SweetLuci
by Platinum Member on Jan. 13, 2017 at 9:42 AM

A rut is made by wheeltracks in a rough road. A vehicle can get stuck in a rut, meaning that the wheels resist being steered the way the driver wants to go.  

Metaphorically being stuck in a rut means your life is not going where you want it to but you cannot escape.

A routine is a self-imposed adherence to a set of activities. The repetition is done by choice.

Since you are happy with your routine, that's what matters. And now that you're both working again, I'll bet you'll be looking forward to the weekends more than ever.

Dh and I like to do a lot of different things on the weekend. There's always a lot to do near where we live. We check out the Go-Do magazine in the newspaper and decide what we're going to do. On Saturday we're doing a Wine Walk in a nearby town with friends. There's also an arts & crafts show and food trucks will be there. Sunday we're going to a Cat Show and the Home Show to get some ideas for new landscaping that we want to have done this Spring and who knows what else we'll see? Some weekends we take a small trip. We do too many different things to get in a rut.

yvonne37
by Silver Member on Jan. 13, 2017 at 10:04 AM

this is whats going on here.. my husband retired this past august and i was working after a long time being a stay home mom.  Now school started for me and im off work but going to school.  He is not settled yet in a routine and we have been playing it by ear these past months.  He feels bored because it is a big change (after 25 years working) to stay home and do nothing.. yes he cooks for us now, but thats about all he likes to do.. oh and go shopping lol..  So right now we are in limbo when it comes to things we want to do.  It is frustrating to me because i see him being bored, he wont let me do the things i was used to doing on a daily basis (because he is always there and talking to me) and my routine is being interrupted, but i dont want to make him feel bad so i dont say anything.

I am trying to find him something to do (so i can do my own things) and at the same time trying to find something for both of us to do together, but things havent fallen into place yet... so i am annoyed half the time and he is bored half the time lol..

hopefully we will find our rhythm soon. 

yvonne37
by Silver Member on Jan. 13, 2017 at 10:05 AM

But i dont think you are in a rut.. because you both enjoy what you do, so you are more in a routine that makes you both happy.

Mom2Just1
by Mom2boys on Jan. 13, 2017 at 10:08 AM

If you enjoy it...I don't see it as a "rut."

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SweetLuci
by Platinum Member on Jan. 13, 2017 at 9:04 PM

Dh was able to retire very young. We had enough for me to also retire if I wanted. I didn't want to because I loved what I did, and thought I would be bored to not work. He was at loose ends, so started doing consulting work and investing. It took awhile to adjust. Then I had surgery and had to take a leave of absence for a semester, and he took care of me... and when I started feeling better but not well enough to go back to work,  I found out I loved being home with him, and I never went back. It took a bit of time to get adjusted, and we had to learn to communicate and listen to each other and since we found our rhythm, it's been great. He started doing a lot of the household chores when I was working, and then sick, and after I got better, he continued to do them. He volunteered and found it made him feel useful and gave jim some structure. We do lots of things together, and some things apart, and we both have hobbies that we enjoy. It's important to plan things. You'll get there.

Quoting yvonne37:

this is whats going on here.. my husband retired this past august and i was working after a long time being a stay home mom.  Now school started for me and im off work but going to school.  He is not settled yet in a routine and we have been playing it by ear these past months.  He feels bored because it is a big change (after 25 years working) to stay home and do nothing.. yes he cooks for us now, but thats about all he likes to do.. oh and go shopping lol..  So right now we are in limbo when it comes to things we want to do.  It is frustrating to me because i see him being bored, he wont let me do the things i was used to doing on a daily basis (because he is always there and talking to me) and my routine is being interrupted, but i dont want to make him feel bad so i dont say anything.

I am trying to find him something to do (so i can do my own things) and at the same time trying to find something for both of us to do together, but things havent fallen into place yet... so i am annoyed half the time and he is bored half the time lol..

hopefully we will find our rhythm soon. 


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