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Bad role model

Posted by on Feb. 15, 2017 at 9:43 PM
  • 7 Replies
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I've been with my husband for almost 4 years. We got married in September of 2015. I have two boys from previous relationships. He has 3 kids from a marriage. I worked hard, joined the military, had a steady job, and finished my bachelors degree all while I was single raising my boys. Now I have a great career and they have everything they would ever need. So again we got married, and decided to have a baby to bring the family together. She was born in December. We were fighting the other day over family issues (disrespectful step kids, puppy that I take care of) during the fight he told me, "at least he was with the woman he had children with." I've comes to terms with how I got my children and I am not ashamed at all. Did he say that expecting it to hurt me? and I thought he called me a bad mom. When I asked him to repeat it, he refused. Today, I brought it up and asked him if he called me a bad mom. He said no, I called you a bad role model. To me, that means the exact same thing. He says no, they don't mean the same thing. How could you want to have a child with someone that is a bad role model? I think that is beyond hurtful and I don't understand how you look at the woman you married and chose to have a baby with and say that?! My heart is sad and I don't know how to look as us the same anymore. How would you feel? Thanks
by on Feb. 15, 2017 at 9:43 PM
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Replies (1-7):
Kiwismommy19
by Diamond Member on Feb. 15, 2017 at 10:23 PM
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That would royally piss me off.
babyboxfish
by Member on Feb. 16, 2017 at 12:05 AM
1 mom liked this

that's awful. i'd be incensed.

SissyAnn141
by Bronze Member on Feb. 16, 2017 at 12:50 AM

OUCH !!!

  Wow that was a low blow.

  I would be very hurt.

  I would tell him we need to talk that was not something just said in the moment.

PinkButterfly66
by Silver Member on Feb. 16, 2017 at 1:00 AM
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I'd be pissed off and mad as hell and I would have replied that it didn't seem to matter when you married me 4 years ago.  And as for being a bad role model I am looking straight at one.  I will not put up with a man who spews out such sexist and misogynistic bull shit.  So you had better change your tune and stop acting like an asswipe because my daughter will not be raised by a knuckle dragging misogynistic neanderthal.  

lyrick24
by Bronze Member on Feb. 16, 2017 at 1:04 AM
1 mom liked this

a lot of things get said in the heat of the moment when we are arguing that people dont necessarily mean. sometimes we say stuff because we know it will be hurtful to the other person. i would just talk it over with my dh and move on. im sure he wouldnt be with you if he didnt respect and love you. dont make too much out of it.

ashleymh1667
by New Member on Feb. 16, 2017 at 7:38 AM
I understand that people say things in the heat of the moment, and I call him all kinds of names, but never anything like bad dad or bad role model. And when I brought it up days later over lunch, he didn't say he didn't mean it or. Or even explain himself. He said there's a different between bad mom and bad role model. And he didn't understand if we just had a good lunch and made up why I would bring it up. I brought it up because I'm hurt. i cried just a little and he could tell I was sad yesterday. He just apologized for hurting my feeling and told me he loved me. But at the end of the day I think he really feels that I'm a bad role model, and that is what hurts the most. It wasn't a mean thing just to say in the heat of the moment.
Deleon2020
by on Feb. 17, 2017 at 12:13 PM

Unfortunately, hurtful words cannot be taken back, but they can always be overwritten by demostrating regret fro saying the.  Maybe if you talk to him and let him know how you feel and how it hurt you maybe he can see that those chose of words were not talken lighty.  Let me know know you love him and want to have respect for each other, and maybe asking him to apologize.  Hope you will have healing to your heart!  Wishing for the best.

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