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Invitation addressed to all but one child

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I had a kid free wedding, so I get it, hell I enjoy a kid free wedding. However, I'm having a really hard time wrapping my head around this one.
Today, and on his 6th birthday bc timing can stink, my mailbox had two packages that my son excitedly carried in. One addressed to my husband and I & one addressed to his two children. My child's name was clearly the reason for the two invites (can't say & family when one kid isn't welcome). They were wedding invitations from someone he considers family.
I've tried to rationalize and not be pissed off but hearing the sorrow in my child's voice when he was uninvited has really struck my nerve. I know, I know it's a wedding and he wouldn't really want to be there; but isn't it sort of all or none? Don't you pick to either invite all children in one home or none? Is my son seriously supposed to watch as his family gets ready for a special occasion and then wave with a babysitter as we leave? I'm having a really hard time with this one and could use some (positive) and friendly advice for not being insulted.
by on Mar. 20, 2017 at 5:05 AM
Replies (41-48):
by Member on Mar. 21, 2017 at 10:32 AM
1 mom liked this
He was the same age as one, older than 2, and younger than 4.
by on Mar. 22, 2017 at 12:34 AM
1 mom liked this

One saying has always rung true for me and that is, "A mother is only as happy as her saddest child". Whenever my child has felt sad or left out, I wish it had happened to me instead. I completely understand how hearing the sorrow in your son's voice must have broken your heart. I think that is a sign of a very loving mother. :) Have you or your husband thought about speaking to the couple and letting them know you are honored to be invited to their wedding, you would love to attend, but you need to understand their reasoning behind only inviting two of your three children? It may have been an oversight on their part or they may have another reason they can explain to you and your husband.  

When it comes to my kids, I am quickly on the defensive. Sometimes I've thought one thing or another and after speaking with the person, it's not what I thought at all! I hope this situation will turn out like that for you too. :) I have learned that being offended is one of the worst feelings to carry around. If I don't work through it, it just festers and grows. I don’t wish that on anybody! I'm going to be praying that you, your husband and this couple can talk this through respectfully and lovingly and that there won’t be any hard feelings afterwards. If your son does stay home, maybe you can plan for his favorite someone to be the babysitter that night or his favorite movie to be on the t.v. That’s sure to make him feel better along with a hug from mom letting him know just how much he is loved and how boring weddings really are! Lol Maybe add the promise of a piece of wedding cake. :-) Bless you sweet mama!  I love seeing moms like you that love their kids so much!  

by Member on Mar. 22, 2017 at 3:02 PM
1 mom liked this

I would ask hubby to call and ask if there was a mistake that just his kids were invited and not yours. I mean really people they could have forgot you had a son or maybe they do not want little kids at the wedding? Just ask if there was a mistake because you certainly didn't want to bring the 6 yr old if they did  not want younger kids there.  I had a huge wedding over 300 people there and a sit down 5 course meal and open bar. It cost my dad a fortune and the whole wedding was taped. NO kids were invited and my ring barer and flower girl were 8 years old and as soon as the mass was over they were taken out to eat by a sitter and then to a movie and then home. They did not attend the reception after the pictures were done they were gone. Of course in the invitations was a nice card stating that children were not invited to the wedding. And would not be allowed. Well my brothers wife decided HER kids most certainly were going to be there for the wedding and showed up with them and my father asked her what time the sitter was coming to pick them up as the wedding was going to start in half an hour and she told him NO baby sitter these kids are family and have a right to be here. That I was a spoiled brat denying her children to be there, My dad got my brother who was also in the wedding and told him that we would delay the wedding while he took his wife and kids home and she went nuts. He said he had hired a sitter what were the kids even there, and she went on a hell bent rage about me lol  My Brother gathered up the kids and wife and took them home he was so embarrassed with her behavior. 2 other couples also showed up with kids and were not let in. There is no reason why people think babies and small kids should be allowed at a wedding especially one that is very lavish and much money has been spent . We lost friends over this because we refused to have kids ruin our wedding,.My sisters wedding was ruined by 2 kids. They were saying vows and these kids were crying and screaming and they stopped their vows and had the people and kids removed and they were pissed off because they wanted to see the vows...SEE THEM?? You couldn't hear them due to the kids  and my father was angry . They stopped the vows waited for the removal of those kids and the mother AND NO one thought it was cute or funny and my sister and husband were hurt because it took something away from the vows because they had to stop them in the middle. Our parents spent a lot of money for these weddings and the last thing they want are kids acting up. Do not take it personal I think they do not want younger kids that's all.

by on Mar. 22, 2017 at 3:10 PM

for me if my kid was excluded i would decline and not go. my husbands family usually won't exclude anyone unless you have just got a little hellion that won't listen at all.

by New Member on Mar. 22, 2017 at 3:45 PM
1 mom liked this

I think this is more about age than excluding your son. If his children are 11 and 15 and your son is 6 than chances are it a 10 and over wedding. Have you asked other people in the family that have younger children your sons age if there children were invited (this does not include the wedding party children because that is completely different)?

by on Mar. 22, 2017 at 4:23 PM
1 mom liked this

It would depend on the age of the other children. Some people cut off all kids below age 12 or 10 or whatever they think the age is that kids can behave. Or that stops their guest count from being doubled etc. It is likely not a slight against your son. But I can see where it would be hurtful when only one child in the family is below the cutoff age. I would find out the reasoning before I decided how to proceed but would likely not go if not eveyrone could go. Or I would leave all kids home.

by Member on Mar. 22, 2017 at 4:28 PM
1 mom liked this
Be mad. That's rude. Don't go or give them anything. I would never give them anything again.
by on Mar. 26, 2017 at 7:31 PM

I'm sorry. Have you talked to your husband about how you feel? I would think it would be all or none.

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