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IM GONNA KILL HIM

Posted by on Jun. 17, 2017 at 1:48 AM
  • 7 Replies
Okay. So, I have a 7m.o. little girl. I kid you not, in the last seven months, I have not been able to leave her for more than a hour (while I was at the doctor). Now, I LOVE spending time with my babygirl but I NEED me time. I feel like I've lost all my individuality. My husband and I work together, it's technically "his company" so I don't get too involved. I finished school, so there's no time away there. I have no family or friends in the area we live. Oh! And I just found out I'm three months pregnant 🙃🤣! So basically, I'm going insane. My husband barely helps with the baby, he won't hold her for more than a few minutes at a time and claims it's because "she wants her mom." Help! What do I do or say to motivate him to be more involved so that I can catch a break?
by on Jun. 17, 2017 at 1:48 AM
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Replies (1-7):
Linda_Runs
by Silver Member on Jun. 17, 2017 at 9:08 AM
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Talk to him and tell him how you feel.  Really get his attention.  Parenting comes more natural to us than them so sometimes they need a nudge.

clairewait
by Bronze Member on Jun. 17, 2017 at 12:12 PM
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It is summer-time so there might not be any good "mom's morning out" things in your area but if I was in your position, I'd be seeking outside help.

Our YMCA has moms morning out (up to 3 hours a day 5 days a week) for 6weeks to 2 years old. It is cheap too. 

This is also why I got a Y membership. 2 hours a day of childchare while I work out (or read a book in the lobby). 

You might also be able to put an ad out for a "mom's helper" which is someone who might be too young to babysit alone, but you could pay (very low wages) come over and hold the baby while you shower, get on the computer in another room, have coffee alone.

Sometimes necessity breeds change. If your husband refuses to listen to you, force his hand. You might have to be creative and it might take a little work up front, but "we can't aford it" and "nothing like that exists around me" are nearly always not reality.

Good luck. Take it from a mom who has DEMANDED me-time, won, and not regretted it for a moment. Happier home when mama's happy!

LancesMom
by Gold Member on Jun. 17, 2017 at 6:51 PM

Hugs! he needs to give you a break! I woud talk to him.

atlmom2
by Ruby Member on Jun. 18, 2017 at 7:21 AM
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You married an idiot and now you are having a 2nd baby with him. You have allowed him to not help you.
louannwilkins
by Gold Member on Jun. 18, 2017 at 7:25 AM
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I agree....try this

Quoting Linda_Runs:

Talk to him and tell him how you feel.  Really get his attention.  Parenting comes more natural to us than them so sometimes they need a nudge.


Momijk
by New Member on Jun. 18, 2017 at 10:59 PM
He is not an idiot. I give him slack because he works really hard and I see that parenting doesn't come naturally for him. He wakes up everyday at 4:30am so that my daughter and I can sleep until 9:30. He isn't done working until about seven at night. He is working so that we don't have to later in life, but it absorbs so much of his time and energy that I allow him to relax when he gets home. Yes, maybe I should have given him more responsibility from the start, but we are just trying to figure out what works for us. So again; my husband is no idiot. We are both young and learning as we go.

Quoting atlmom2: You married an idiot and now you are having a 2nd baby with him. You have allowed him to not help you.
atlmom2
by Ruby Member on Jun. 18, 2017 at 11:12 PM
My husband worked super long hours too.
That is no excuse.


Quoting Momijk: He is not an idiot. I give him slack because he works really hard and I see that parenting doesn't come naturally for him. He wakes up everyday at 4:30am so that my daughter and I can sleep until 9:30. He isn't done working until about seven at night. He is working so that we don't have to later in life, but it absorbs so much of his time and energy that I allow him to relax when he gets home. Yes, maybe I should have given him more responsibility from the start, but we are just trying to figure out what works for us. So again; my husband is no idiot. We are both young and learning as we go.

Quoting atlmom2: You married an idiot and now you are having a 2nd baby with him. You have allowed him to not help you.
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