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Was this the right choice?

Posted by on Jul. 14, 2017 at 12:45 PM
  • 11 Replies

My son will be going into his junior HS year this fall. Last year I noticed a cocky change with him, particularly around girls. I'd hear him talking on the phone, mentioning "cute chicks" and such. I think his after school friends in athletics may be an influence in that regard. Anyhow, I've also overheard him mention to 1 of his friends on the phone frustration over having gotten slapped by a few girls at school. Apparently, in all his cockiness, he'd laughed at other boys he knew this had happened to, and swore it couldn't happen to him. I personally witnessed 1 incident, when I went to pick him up. A brunette girl, who I know is a junior(he's hung out with her a few times)and him were out in front of school after it let out. I happened to be walking towards them from the side, when all of a sudden she gasped, "Ugh!" and hung her right hand out to the side. Apparently he'd said/done something crude. He made a feeble attempt to block her hand, but she was way too fast for him. By the time he could barely unfreeze, her smack had hit his cheek, turning his face. He had a red cheek. He didn't want to talk about it, said it was nothing. Well, last week, he asked me if he could take karate, coming up with a multitude of reasons-none of which he'd ever shown interest in before. I thought back to what I saw that day, and knew why he wanted to take it. I told him I'd think about it, then decided against it. He begged 1 last time, saying he needed to take it. I still said no. He needs to change his attitude. Then I overhear him on the phone last night with 1 of his friends, saying how he swears he won't get slapped by any "chicks" this year, he'll easily block it. I knew that was the reason he asked. If he still thinks that way, he's going to get slapped again this year. That brunette got him easily. Did I do the right thing by denying his request?

by on Jul. 14, 2017 at 12:45 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Lunarprancer
by Member on Jul. 14, 2017 at 12:47 PM
1 mom liked this

I wouldn't have. I think it would be good for his attitude.

virginiamama71
by Gold Member on Jul. 14, 2017 at 12:51 PM
2 moms liked this
I agree with this.

Quoting Lunarprancer:

I wouldn't have. I think it would be good for his attitude.

amonkeymom
by Silver Member on Jul. 15, 2017 at 10:45 AM

I think he could get a lot out of karate, they really focus on attitude and using it as self-defense, not as a means of abusing others or starting fights.

As for the girls maybe you, or his dad, need to sit down and really talk to him about what is/isnt appropriate to say to a girl. That saying things to a girl that will make them want to slap you is probably NOT the way to go if he wants a girlfriend any time soon.

WorriedMom386
by Member on Jul. 16, 2017 at 10:27 AM
1 mom liked this

I think I would be the most concerned about what he was saying to these young ladies. My son would be grounded until he told me & DH what he said & we had a good discussion about it & the whole attitude situation. Karate would be a far off side issue.

clairewait
by Bronze Member on Jul. 17, 2017 at 3:20 PM
1 mom liked this


Quoting amonkeymom:

I think he could get a lot out of karate, they really focus on attitude and using it as self-defense, not as a means of abusing others or starting fights.

As for the girls maybe you, or his dad, need to sit down and really talk to him about what is/isnt appropriate to say to a girl. That saying things to a girl that will make them want to slap you is probably NOT the way to go if he wants a girlfriend any time soon.

THIS.

But my guess is that he doesn't need a lecture on how to be appropriate. Boys know what is appropriate and what isn't.

He needs to be put in his place by his parents, not the girls at school.

I hate coming across as mama-attacking, but in this case, I'm taking the side of the moms of these girls who are having to put up with his mouth and his attitude. I wouldn't necessarily TEACH my daughter to slap a kid like that, but I'd be proud as hell if she did.

Sorry.

You gotta get that boy to control his mouth. Because what's next?

Kmakksmom
by on Jul. 20, 2017 at 1:49 AM
He would get alot out of taking karate classes. They are all about self defense and he will be able to get his cocky attitude in check with the self discipline that they teach. My father is a 9th degree black belt in kenpo karate and I have also dated a guy that was a black belt in tae kwon do, another amazing martial art.
redheadtmk
by on Jul. 20, 2017 at 2:05 AM

Also I would not be letting him date until you know for sure that he has learned to be appropriate.

timon95
by on Jul. 24, 2017 at 12:55 AM

I totally agree. Of course, me being the mom that I am, I would sign him for karate. But, I would tell the instructor why he wants to take karate, to block a girls slap from lack of respect. They will teach him how to be appropriate. You and dh also need to put your foot down and have a long talk with him about how to treat girls. If you can't treat girls with respect, if you are going to follow the actions of others, then no sports.

Quoting clairewait:

Quoting amonkeymom:

I think he could get a lot out of karate, they really focus on attitude and using it as self-defense, not as a means of abusing others or starting fights.

As for the girls maybe you, or his dad, need to sit down and really talk to him about what is/isnt appropriate to say to a girl. That saying things to a girl that will make them want to slap you is probably NOT the way to go if he wants a girlfriend any time soon.

THIS.

But my guess is that he doesn't need a lecture on how to be appropriate. Boys know what is appropriate and what isn't.

He needs to be put in his place by his parents, not the girls at school.

I hate coming across as mama-attacking, but in this case, I'm taking the side of the moms of these girls who are having to put up with his mouth and his attitude. I wouldn't necessarily TEACH my daughter to slap a kid like that, but I'd be proud as hell if she did.

Sorry.

You gotta get that boy to control his mouth. Because what's next?


family car

mrswillie
by Platinum Member on Jul. 24, 2017 at 1:06 PM
I would have allowed and made him stick to itfiratleast a year. It teachs disipline.
egyptian_mommy
by Bronze Member on Jul. 24, 2017 at 3:25 PM
Agreed.

Quoting amonkeymom:

I think he could get a lot out of karate, they really focus on attitude and using it as self-defense, not as a means of abusing others or starting fights.

As for the girls maybe you, or his dad, need to sit down and really talk to him about what is/isnt appropriate to say to a girl. That saying things to a girl that will make them want to slap you is probably NOT the way to go if he wants a girlfriend any time soon.

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