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How do I get my 7yo to stay in his own bed!?!?!

Posted by on Aug. 18, 2017 at 12:52 AM
  • 21 Replies

Hi All! Im sure this is posted somewhere, but I havent had any luck searching for advice in other posts.

My son, 7, is fighting us tooth and nail about sleeping in his own bed/room. We are CONSTANTLY having nightly battles with him over this, and he ends up either in our (me and hubby/dad) bed, or in my daughters (11) room on her floor because he REFUSES to sleep alone. Im willing to try just about anything at this point to get him to realize that he can and will sleep in his own bed.

A brief summary of why this is such a problem...When  he was born we lived in a 2BR apt. He was in his bassinett then crib, then toddler bed, all in our room because my daughter was in school and this kept her from losing any sleep having to share a room with him and him keep her up at night. Somewhere around 3yo we upgraded to a bunkbed, and moved him into daughters room. She was on top, him on bottom. He would constntly come into our room at night, most times without our notice and just sleep on the floor. About 6 months after this we had to move out of our apt, and had no other choice but to move in with my in-laws. Space was severely limited, so my daughter was forced to sleep with her grandma and my son was in our room again. We lived with them for almost 3 1/2 years, til we were finally financially able enough to move out again. We bought a mobile home, and everyone has their own room. Unfortunately my son has never had his own room, and therefore thinks he's "not ready for his own room" no matter how much we tell him he is. He seemed fine the first few weeks, maybe even up to the first month after we moved in, but then all of a sudden he just kept coming ito our room every night. We've done everything short of locking our door to keep him out, but he still finds his way in at some point in the night/morning.

by on Aug. 18, 2017 at 12:52 AM
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Replies (1-10):
strangeyfine
by on Aug. 18, 2017 at 2:03 AM
1 mom liked this
Wow, that's a hard thing, to expect that your son suddenly change hisbsleeping habits that have been put on him his entire life.

I am sure yoiu havr gone through the whole thing where you just lead him back to his bed without conversation, and do it as many times a night as it takes, no matter what and no giving in.

This sounds like he has some serious issue with being straight be alone, and I can't say inflame him. Maybe try something like a video baby monitor. You set up the screen in his room so that he can see you anytime and know that you are there. Having that reassurance may help him learn to be comfortable in his own space and being alone.

Or maybe a pet if you don't have one already. Something that can sleep with him so he is not alone.
MusherMaggie
by Silver Member on Aug. 18, 2017 at 7:39 AM
2 moms liked this
Supernanny method. You walk him back to his room, without comment, every single night he comes in. It will take several tomes, bur you have to be tough and consistent.
virginiamama71
by Silver Member on Aug. 18, 2017 at 8:18 AM
Just keep taking him back to his room.
He will eventually stop doing this.
soccercrazymom1
by on Aug. 18, 2017 at 8:23 AM
Guess I'm weird but I don't see what the problem is. As long as the kid is sleeping what does it matter where he sleeps?
UpSheRises
by Bronze Member on Aug. 18, 2017 at 8:24 AM
I'd let him sleep on the floor.
stargazerwolf
by Silver Member on Aug. 18, 2017 at 7:13 PM
1 mom liked this

He is old enough to understand what you tell him. He sleeps in his own room because people like to have privacy, especially mommy and daddy. Maybe a night light would help, a special stuffed animal to sleep with, or a pillow pet. Does he have sheets and a bed set that he picked out for his own bed? Sometimes if they can decorate their own rooms that makes them enjoy it more. My 9 and 5 year old shared a room for a long time. Last year we moved in with my now husband and they got their own rooms and even my 5 year old was SOO excited! We painted her room, she got her own bed set (well before we moved she got that).

At this age, if you catch him going in to someone elses room, make him go back to his room. I don't get how people don't see the problem...what if you and your husband were having sex and he walked in? How do you ever have sex if this has been happening all along? For me, our bedroom is ours and the kids don't go in (but also because my husband has guns even though they are in the safe.) Honestly at some point I'd start punishing him if he won't stop. We even have my 5 year old ask her sister if its ok to go in to her room. Their rooms are their rooms and neither is allowed in without permisson. To me a bedroom is like a sanctuary where you have all the freedoms you want.

PinkButterfly66
by Silver Member on Aug. 18, 2017 at 7:20 PM

Baby steps, hon, baby steps.  And incentives.  Work up to it gradually. Tell him that he MUST start the night out in his own bed.  And if he has a bad dream he can come in your room, quietly, and sleep on the pallet.  But if either of you wake up in the middle of the night then you should escort him back to his bed again.  Make a reward chart and something he really, really, wants as a prize for sleeping all night for an entire month in his own bed with smaller prizes for making through the night (like his favorite candy or gum or even 1 trading card if he likes those) to slightly bigger prize for making it a whole week (favorite weekend breakfast like chocolate chip pancakes for instance).  But keep encouraging him and be patient.

othermom
by Gold Member on Aug. 18, 2017 at 8:43 PM
1 mom liked this

Slowly work on transisioning. He has slept in a room with someone basically his whole life. Maybe start with him sleeping on the floor in your room. Then maybe in the hall and slowly move back to his room.  Maybe get him something new to sleep with. You might have to be firm and just keep taking him back to his room each time.

emarin77
by Silver Member on Aug. 18, 2017 at 9:12 PM

I would ask him why he feels he needs to sleep with you.  I say this because he is not the normal 2 year old that does this.  Maybe he needs a doll to sleep with.  Discuss with him the importace of sleeoing in his own bed.  Then walk him back to his room for him to go back to bed each time he gets out,  He can read for a while in bed and/or music can calm him.

knzmommy
by New Member on Aug. 18, 2017 at 11:04 PM


Quoting soccercrazymom1: Guess I'm weird but I don't see what the problem is. As long as the kid is sleeping what does it matter where he sleeps?

Um....OK....so... I'm sorry if I come off sounding like a b*tch, (and please don't be offended, because honestly, to each their own...if it works for you/someone else then I won't judge) but really? REALLY?? Uh first of all he's 7! He's MORE than old enough to be need his own room. My daughter deserves her own space and not have to worry about being bothered by her little brother. Why would it be acceptable for him to invade her room every night? and as for my husband and I, don't we deserve the same? We spend all day with them, we REQUIRE adult time. If I am to retain any inkling of my sanity, then adult time is absolutely 1000% necessary. Now I get that he needs sleep, but so do I, and my cal-king bed is already full with me, hubby, and our beagle. Any more bodies in the bed and it gets too crowded and that means no sleep for mommy, and a sleepy mommy is not a happy mommy, and no one likes an unhappy mommy (if momma ain't happy, ain't NOBODY happy!). And as far as sleeping on the floor in our room, theres this thing that happens between two consenting adults and children should NOT be around to witness this sort of thing! Im sorry but, um no! Thanks for the advice, and again I appologize for sounding b*tchy, but I think I'll have to pass.

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