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Why are you arguing?

Posted by on Sep. 21, 2017 at 10:24 AM
  • 27 Replies

I could call it challenging what I say, but the bottom line is that my 9 year old daughter argues just about everything these days. Instead of listening to what someone says, she replies with a retort as if what the person is saying has no validity. This morning was just the one of many moments where I dropped her off at school and I said "I love you, see you in several hours". She replied with: "it isn't several hours, it's seven", and walked off. Wth. I was talking to her about an event she is going to be a part of, and I said "you'll have to make sure you wake up earlier than usual so you can eat breakfast and get ready" to which she replied "I don't really have to wake up earlier, just 15 minutes before I usually get up for school". Yeah.....that's the point I just made. I know they seem like small things and that's fine, but I'm telling you it's just about every conversation between us, as well as her with my husband when they talk. It's such wasted time with how she chooses to take time to argue what's been said. My husband and I are to the point where we have to walk away without saying anything because explaining anything to her anymore doesn't seem to matter.

Is this a phase? Anyone else able to relate?

by on Sep. 21, 2017 at 10:24 AM
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Replies (1-10):
anotherandree
by Inga on Sep. 21, 2017 at 10:32 AM
2 moms liked this
My daughter is like that. It's simply infuriating.
cosmical
by on Sep. 21, 2017 at 10:38 AM
3 moms liked this
She'd hate me because I'd be telling her what's up and punishing her every. single. time. I run a no nonsense household. You do what I say, when I say it, and you don't mouth off. My tolerance for bullshit and nonsense is nonexistent and that would drive me nuts.
lucky2Beeme
by Platinum Member on Sep. 21, 2017 at 10:50 AM
2 moms liked this

That would not fly in my home . When I speak to my children they speak respectfully OR they are escorted to their bedroom. They are to think about What they said, The tone of voice they used and If it was respectful. When they are ready to make needed adjustments they are welcome to come out. They may apologize and try again. 

No one in our home speaks disrespectfully to each other. So they certainly aren't. If it continued she would be loosing privileges. 

yeehawhoney123
by Member on Sep. 21, 2017 at 11:15 AM
I hear that. I want to get rid of it, and fast. My husband and I decided that when she has any reply that isn't yes ma'am/yes sir or a polite acknowledgement, that it's absolutely talking back and there will be consquences. What punishments do you use?

Quoting cosmical: She'd hate me because I'd be telling her what's up and punishing her every. single. time. I run a no nonsense household. You do what I say, when I say it, and you don't mouth off. My tolerance for bullshit and nonsense is nonexistent and that would drive me nuts.
yeehawhoney123
by Member on Sep. 21, 2017 at 11:19 AM
Very good points. This started not too long ago,and I have been seriously strict with taking away activities, going to bed earlier, anything I can do to stop this behavior.

Quoting lucky2Beeme:

That would not fly in my home . When I speak to my children they speak respectfully OR they are escorted to their bedroom. They are to think about What they said, The tone of voice they used and If it was respectful. When they are ready to make needed adjustments they are welcome to come out. They may apologize and try again. 

No one in our home speaks disrespectfully to each other. So they certainly aren't. If it continued she would be loosing privileges. 

virginiamama71
by Gold Member on Sep. 21, 2017 at 11:46 AM
Try changing the way you say something.
Instead of see you in several hours, just say see you later, have a good day.

If she's being disrespectful she needs to be corrected but from what you posted it sounds like she's someone who always has to correct others and it can be annoying.
DakotaHaley
by Bronze Member on Sep. 21, 2017 at 11:51 AM
1 mom liked this

My daughter isn't 9 yet she is 7, but I go thru this with her sometimes. Not all the time, but sometimes she just is in one of her moods. She can make the most littlest things a big deal.

  I think it's just a phase. Hopefully, it's not puberty. I know some can experience it earlier. But 9 is really early. 

peekaboo813
by Member on Sep. 21, 2017 at 12:06 PM
1 mom liked this
I understand what you mean. My children did the same. It's part of growing up and learning to think and have conversations etc....it got worse as the kids got older though because then hormones came into play but I think we survived because I always demanded respect and there was a consistent consequence when they did this. I would tell them "you can think any way you want and talk anyway you want in your HEAD, I can NEVER take that away from you but you do not get to give me that attitude or response back Everytime we discuss something. You don't have to say everything you think." That truly helped the situation because I was losing my mind with three kids always having a rebuttal or counter argument or opinion everytime I opened my mouth. It was overload! I would tell the kids to pack their sports bags the night before because if you wake up late you save time if you don't have to run around looking for your stuff. That's common sense right? Can't see how you can argue that or add a thought to that right? Well they managed. Drove me insane. One day I lost it and I told them that if I'm so stupid and they are so much smarter than me and they think they can treat strangers better than their mother then go for it, prove it. So I stopped speaking to them and reminding them of practices. I didn't drive them they had to walk to school and everywhere, I didn't cook for them or do laundry for them. It was as if I wasn't here. My oldest cried and begged for forgiveness after 3 days!! Lesson learned. They are much kinder now. But once in a while they say things that make me nuts
EarlGrayHot
by on Sep. 21, 2017 at 1:10 PM

Wow.  Our daughter never behaved that way and we were never the kind of parent who demanded it be our way or the highway.  I'm glad none of you were my parents.  My way or be escorted to your room.  Geez.  How pathetic.  And our daughter is now a wonderful adult.

yeehawhoney123
by Member on Sep. 21, 2017 at 1:34 PM
That's great that you never experienced it. I don't believe a child should be disrespectful, you're lucky yours was never disrespectful. Hardly ever heard of these days.

Quoting EarlGrayHot:

Wow.  Our daughter never behaved that way and we were never the kind of parent who demanded it be our way or the highway.  I'm glad none of you were my parents.  My way or be escorted to your room.  Geez.  How pathetic.  And our daughter is now a wonderful adult.

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