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Unwanted vasectomy

Posted by on Apr. 21, 2018 at 2:49 AM
  • 8 Replies

Hey everyone, it has been at least 4 years since I have posted anything on CM and once again, I'm back needing advice.

So, here's the skinny.  We have three absolutely beautiful children.  My youngest is 3 and shortly after he was born my husband got a vasectomy.  We spent countless hours discussing pros and cons of a vasectomy versus not.  My problem is that I am not sure that we made the right decision.  The worst part?  We didn't freeze any AND his is irreversible.  I have got to be the most baby hungry woman on earth because every time I see a baby I am reminded of how desperately I would love to have just one more.

At the time, the vasectomy seemed like a LOGICAL thing to do, not necessarily a wanted thing.  Plus there was copious amounts of pressure from my mom in regards to getting it done.  In the back of my mind I thought, "OK, we'll do it just to get her off my A**." I'm not mad or severely disappointed, just a little bit sad that I won't be able to experience pregnancy, hold a tiny baby,  nurse, coddle, etc ever again.  

What makes it worse, my 5 year old says "Mom, I want another baby." LOLOL So, there's that.  I guess I'm just trying to weigh the pros and cons and find out from other mommies if the need to have another baby ever goes away, and what you did to help see that the kids you already have are more than enough littles to love on.

Some of you might be wondering, "Why did you agree to a vasectomy if you weren't 100% ready for it?"  My answer to that is definitely "I thought it was the logical and responsible thing to do."  Apparently DH and I are very fertile and get pregnant just by looking at each other which is why my mother was so adimant about it in the first place. LOL

Anyway, thanks for everything over the years. I really do love you all.

by on Apr. 21, 2018 at 2:49 AM
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by Gold Member on Apr. 21, 2018 at 10:17 AM

It can be hard. My husband had a vasectomy several years ago and I regret it sometimes. We have three wonderful kids who are older that yours (15,12,8) and I miss having a baby. I feel like we should have had one more sometimes. It still makes me sad sometimes even though I absolutely love our kids and am happy. I know all the reasons why another would have been a bad idea, we don't have room for another, we don't have the money, my anxiety gets worse during pregnancy and I weigh more than I did for any of my other pregnancies, we are getting older and so many more reasons why not. But I still want another sometimes. I spend time sometimes with friends or families babies which is nice sometimes. Also my husband keeps reminding me some day we will probably have grandchildren and then I can spoil them. Hopefully that will not be for another 8-10 years though for the older ones. Longer for my youngest.

by Bronze Member on Apr. 21, 2018 at 9:30 PM
2 moms liked this
I can send you my tuition bill for $72k/yr that might help you feel better...
by Ivy on Apr. 21, 2018 at 11:25 PM
I was in the same place but it was me who got my tubes tied. It's something I regretted immediately and for many years afterward. Somewhere along the line I have come to leave with the decision though
by Mariah on Apr. 24, 2018 at 1:02 PM
I have 3 kids also. They are 10, 8 and 3.
I dont think that baby-fever feeling will ever 100% go away.
My 3 year old absolutely has sealed the deal for me and our decision for my husband to get the vasectomy😂😂 he is so crazy! But even still, I enjoy pregnancy and babies. My daughter, my oldest, occasionally asks for a little sister still haha

I think you should make a list of things that makes being out of the baby stage wonderful. Like no midnight feedings, no zombie mom, no lugging the whole house in baby equipment out, not needing a bigger vehicle or more rooms in your house, etc.

Or maybe you could volunteer to be a baby holder at your hospital's NICU if you have tje time? I read am article awhile back about how badly hospitals need those volunteers.
I know it isn't the same as having your own, though.
by New Member on May. 18, 2018 at 2:20 AM
This had me laughing 😂

Quoting chicken13: I can send you my tuition bill for $72k/yr that might help you feel better...
by on May. 18, 2018 at 11:35 AM

This is perfectly normal.  Our bodies are geared toward reproduction and something is gumming up the works.    The factory is gretting faulty good ...send out the flaggers to bring in more and bigger trucks... we have to do our job.......    That is what your body is saying,   

Baby;'s give off a scent that makes women want to have one, to take for the sweet babyb, and forget all the crap parts of the job.   Sad as it is  even though you are !100% down with it and have your own system done, your body will still scream that it isn't to late.

You just have to tell it to quiet down and go to sleep

by Member on May. 18, 2018 at 10:57 PM

We just had our 5th my hubby is going to get it done. I've worried that I will regret it. Like you, we are super fertile. I love babies. It is sad to think about not holding babies, no more nursing, late night snuggles.....

I'm excited to move on with my life. The kids will grow and we will be out of diapers and then done potty training. My husband and I just turned 30 we will still be kind of young with our kids. We will get to be us again. We will get to date.

I will always want another baby. I don't think it will go away. But I can hold neices and nephews some day and then grand babies down the road. I will hold a baby one day again lol. I will probably be 75 and still miss babies and want another lol.

I'm sure it is not what you were looking for but maybe my reasons to do it will help reassure you that it I still ok. 

by Bronze Member on May. 21, 2018 at 2:55 PM
Be thankful for the 3 you have. I would be comfortable with the snip and not getting pregnant anymore.
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