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Mini crisis(updated)

Posted by on Jan. 25, 2008 at 5:51 PM
  • 4 Replies
Hey, I am a 20 year old Mom of an 8 month old baby. Recently my Husband of 8 months informed me that he wanted a separation. He said I needed to find a place to live before the lease is up on our apartment in May. I have talked to him about getting us some help for our marriage since we are a fairly new couple but he says he won't change his mind. He did state that he still loves me and might come back to me but I'm not sure when that will be. Should I began looking for a place now? He says he will be staying with a friend but we have furniture, and other belongings that neither he and I will be able to keep if we move out. If he does ask me back it will be hard to reverse everything. It will already be difficult to find myself and my daughter a place to stay and I will probably have to work full time too. I don't know ...what would you do if you were in my shoes?

My husband thinks theres too much drama involved with our relationship and he says he's confused about life. He also says he wants to go back to his old life. I agree that we do need a change in our marriage but I thought that the first year was always kind of rough...
by on Jan. 25, 2008 at 5:51 PM
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Replies (1-4):
autumnjoy3
by on Jan. 25, 2008 at 6:02 PM
I would respect his wishes and prepare myself to move on with my life. Does he intend to pay you child support and alimony, if so get it in writing? This is something you both need to sit down and discuss and if he is not going to cooperate, then you should start looking for an attorney now. This is to ensure that your child is taken care of and that you will have enough money to support yourself & your child. He also has a major responsibility to his child's welfare and I hope he does not think that by leaving, he is going to get off scott free. If that is the case you need to set the record with him straight now and get some good legal counsel and proceed on taking him to court. I'm so sorry that he feels this way, and I too would have a hard time reconsidering getting back together. He probably feels like he is to young and feels a bit trapped. Pray and ask God to intercede on your behalf  as well as his, and maybe things will work out between the two of you.  Just don't argue with him and hold your peace and do what you have to do to, in order too take care of and find a new home for your daughter & yourself. Best Wishes & I will be praying for your family and you.
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Mommyof3boys312
by on Jan. 25, 2008 at 6:08 PM
I was in your shoes just months ago- when my now ex found out I was pregnant w/baby #3 he hit the roof. By early October he told me that he wasnt paying rent for another month and would have to get out by the end of the month. So I left - my children and I are living with my parents and baby # 3 will be here shortly. Life is hard cant find a job,. I went to social services to get some help and its been 2 weeks and I havent heard anything. Now i get court papers in the mail from my ex saying he wants visitation and to pay less child support. Im starting to get very depressed.

Just wanted to let you know Ive been there/still am there, if you need to talk message me.
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lilmami20
by on Jan. 25, 2008 at 6:19 PM
Congratulations on your pregnancy! I am sorry to hear that you are going through a rough time too. I am praying for myself and will pray for you too.
Quoting Mommyof3boys312:

I was in your shoes just months ago- when my now ex found out I was pregnant w/baby #3 he hit the roof. By early October he told me that he wasnt paying rent for another month and would have to get out by the end of the month. So I left - my children and I are living with my parents and baby # 3 will be here shortly. Life is hard cant find a job,. I went to social services to get some help and its been 2 weeks and I havent heard anything. Now i get court papers in the mail from my ex saying he wants visitation and to pay less child support. Im starting to get very depressed.

Just wanted to let you know Ive been there/still am there, if you need to talk message me.

Njane0407
by on Jan. 25, 2008 at 7:30 PM
Did you get married because of the baby? If so then you're relationship sounds like it was stressed to begin with. Unfortunately babies don't make families, families make babies. I personally wouldn't ever wait on some guy to tell me whether or not he wanted me or our child in his life.

 

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