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i have a ? and kinda venting (kinda long srry)

Posted by on Feb. 9, 2008 at 9:42 AM
  • 17 Replies
ok i left a post on young mother!! it didnt turn out verry well!!!! i need some advice...my b/f (now x) sexually melested my 4 year old neice! he didnt like do anything to her but he jacked off in fron of her! i not it dont matter eather way its still really really grose!!!! im 2 months pregnint with his child and my 2 year old is supper devistated because she called him daddy and he left and she hasent seen him in like 3 days! im so confused on what to do! i cant eat and i cant sleep! im sooo sick! its not the floo...i just cant! my daughter has done nothing but sleep sence he left and i dont no what to do with her! she was up at 4 this morning and she kept yelling for daddy and i feel like shit cuz she cant have him! just so everyone noes my neice is doing really well she is seeing a counslor every other day! thats what started the fight last time i posted somethin was cuz i didnt "mention" her and how hard this must b for her! but i just dont no what to do! i have tried everything, all i did for 2 days is cry! im sick of crying but i cant help it! idn... hes in jail he got 25 years in prison or he can plead insanity and get 6 months in a mentil hospital! i think he needs mental help! anyone that can do something like that needs mental help!!! anyways my ? is should he b allowed to c the kids after i have this baby? or am i doing the right thing by not letting him c them?i told him after he gets mental help i would think about it but not untill then!!! im just confused! and my daughter misses him so much!!! and yes i already had her checked and everything came out fine!!! thanks for all your help!!!
       stacy

mommy to a beautiful lil girl!!! and one on the way!!!

by on Feb. 9, 2008 at 9:42 AM
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Replies (1-10):
stacybrown
by on Feb. 9, 2008 at 9:45 AM
bump!!!!!!

mommy to a beautiful lil girl!!! and one on the way!!!

Shannon85
by on Feb. 9, 2008 at 9:51 AM
wow...this is definattly something your going to have to go with your gut on. some people like that never change and just go threw the motions till they can it again. im glad to know there wasnt touching involved but still its just as sickneing...im glad your neice is in counceling shes old enogh to know what was going on and nees that help
as for your daughter you need to talk to her about him not coming home for a long time...maybe get her a special photo and frame she can charish

other then that i cant say...its a hard situation and i wish you all the best!
~ Shannon, Mom of 1 Girl and 1 Boy
squidsmommy
by on Feb. 9, 2008 at 9:52 AM
That's a horrible situation that nobody deserves to go through! I think you are absolutely doing the right thing by keeping him away. Just because your daughter came back fine, doesn't mean that something wouldn't happen. Just because he didn't physically do something to your niece, doesn't make it right, or less wrong. That's sick and anybody who is capable of doing something like that is capable of a lot worse!! I don't know if I would let him see the children even after help. Luckily your daughter is still young and eventually will stop asking for daddy. Can you tell her that he had to go away for a little while? maybe tell her that he was naughty and had to go where naughty adults go? She may understand a little and eventually she will know that daddy did something bad and is in big people time out. But I think the most important thing right now is to pull yourself together because you're a mom and really have no other choice. Pull yourself up by the boot straps, convince yourself that you are doing the right thing, put on a smile and know that eventually things will get better for you and your children.
stacybrown
by on Feb. 9, 2008 at 9:55 AM

Quoting squidsmommy:

That's a horrible situation that nobody deserves to go through! I think you are absolutely doing the right thing by keeping him away. Just because your daughter came back fine, doesn't mean that something wouldn't happen. Just because he didn't physically do something to your niece, doesn't make it right, or less wrong. That's sick and anybody who is capable of doing something like that is capable of a lot worse!! I don't know if I would let him see the children even after help. Luckily your daughter is still young and eventually will stop asking for daddy. Can you tell her that he had to go away for a little while? maybe tell her that he was naughty and had to go where naughty adults go? She may understand a little and eventually she will know that daddy did something bad and is in big people time out. But I think the most important thing right now is to pull yourself together because you're a mom and really have no other choice. Pull yourself up by the boot straps, convince yourself that you are doing the right thing, put on a smile and know that eventually things will get better for you and your children.
i tried telling her that he hurt my neice and he couldent come around anymore but she doesent understand and it breaks my heart to tell her that shes not gonna c him ever again!

mommy to a beautiful lil girl!!! and one on the way!!!

stacybrown
by on Feb. 9, 2008 at 10:03 AM
no one else:( i need help

mommy to a beautiful lil girl!!! and one on the way!!!

landerbh
by on Feb. 9, 2008 at 10:12 AM
Stacy, you need to look out for your children. Anyone who would do something like he did will do it again and so if you is allowed around your babies something may happen and you would never be able to forgive yourself. So, in my opinion NO, NO, NO, you should not allow him anywhere near those kids. Of course it will be hard on your and your daughter but in time things will get better. Right now it is really hard but you need to be strong and know that what you are doing is best for her. She doesn't understand now but she will love  you for it later.

You need to pull yourself together and stop crying over this. What is done is done. Your neice is doing well and he is no longer a danger to you and your family. THIS GUY IS NOT WORTH YOUR SUFFERING. You have a baby on the way and your daughter to think about. Keep your mind on them.

Try putting your daughter in couseling as well. She may need someone to talk to as well.

I hope all goes well.
starryeyez23
by on Feb. 9, 2008 at 10:13 AM
if he gets the help he needs

I'd let him see the kids

but only with you there.

 

Zephoria2007
by on Feb. 9, 2008 at 10:16 AM
awww, but I think you are being very strong about this. You are only human. What you went through, what your family went through was traumatizing. I would just say let your body grieve. The more comfortable you are with that process, the quicker it will subside.  If you ever need a friend to talk to, I am someone who likes to listen. 

here is my yuwie:

http://r.yuwie.com/devipresszephoria
cmlaurias
by on Feb. 9, 2008 at 10:18 AM

Quoting landerbh:

Stacy, you need to look out for your children. Anyone who would do something like he did will do it again and so if you is allowed around your babies something may happen and you would never be able to forgive yourself. So, in my opinion NO, NO, NO, you should not allow him anywhere near those kids. Of course it will be hard on your and your daughter but in time things will get better. Right now it is really hard but you need to be strong and know that what you are doing is best for her. She doesn't understand now but she will love you for it later.

You need to pull yourself together and stop crying over this. What is done is done. Your neice is doing well and he is no longer a danger to you and your family. THIS GUY IS NOT WORTH YOUR SUFFERING. You have a baby on the way and your daughter to think about. Keep your mind on them.

Try putting your daughter in couseling as well. She may need someone to talk to as well.

I hope all goes well.
I strongly agree with every single word landerbh wrote. 
Happy Valentine's Day!! Christina
squidsmommy
by on Feb. 9, 2008 at 10:19 AM
I don't think you need to go into what he did. Keep it simple. Keep telling her that he had to go away, or whatever you choose to tell her and eventually she'll get it. Kind of like when you have to tell them no over and over again, eventually they get it. But, keep it simple
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