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My family is falling apart, please help.....

Posted by on Feb. 24, 2008 at 7:50 AM
  • 6 Replies
Hi, my name is Debbie, and I am a married (18 years) 42 year old mother of 2.  I have an 11 year old son, Joshua, who is agreat kid.  Than I have a 17 year old, Stephanie, who thinks she all grown up.  She recently dropped out of school, she only needs 8 credits to graduate.  And as of yesterday has informed me that she doesn't want to be part of this family anymore.  This is very hard for me to deal with.  We are like any other family in America.  I don't know who she is anymore and need some advice on how to handle this.  I don't sleep and it is starting to effect every other aspect of my life.  If anyone has some advise on how to handle this please let me know.  I would really like to meet some new people and I guess in some way start my life.  Since it has always been focused around my children.  My husband (Matt) thinks that I'm taking this to seriously and that she'll come home.  But she's just as pig headed as he is.  Please help me before I have nothing left for my son.
by on Feb. 24, 2008 at 7:50 AM
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by on Feb. 24, 2008 at 7:54 AM
 in your area is a 17 year old considered an adult?    if so there is nothing you can do.  did you have to sign for her to drop out of school?  also is there a boy friend involved?   what a waste being that close to a diploma.
the real me  only the wicked witch sometimes
by on Feb. 24, 2008 at 7:56 AM
awww Im sorry to hear you go throught this... I'm sorry I dont really have any advise for you but I iwhjs you the best of luck!

Come sign my guess book please!!!
by on Feb. 24, 2008 at 8:02 AM
Here's what I think...your daughter is at an age where she thinks she knows what's best and there's really nothing you can do to change her mind, unfortunately. On my 18 b-day, I moved out of my moms house because I thought she was totally unreasonable. It took years for me to come around to her way of seeing things and to realize that maybe she's right most of the time. If there's any way you can make her see that being in school is the most important thing for her life right now, you would be making a big step. She's going to make stupid decisions and I hope you don't react like my mom did. She would stop speaking to me for months on end every time I disappointed her. All I can say is that I feel you should be there to comfort her and help guide her if she asks. Otherwise, she needs to make her own mistakes and just remember that she will come around in time. As long as you don't sever the relationship and let her know that you always love her, she will come around. It may take years, but I know that I love my mom dearly and we talk on a weekly basis. Girls need to grow up on their own and there really is nothing more complex than a mother daughter relationship. I'm sorry that this is what you're going through right now, but it will pass, so just concentrate on your son, because there really is nothing at this point that you can do for your daughter to make her see that you're right. She would just fight it more.
by on Feb. 24, 2008 at 8:03 AM
I was wondering if there is something bigger going on--boyfriend? drugs? alcohol? 

When I was that age I "rebelled" to some extent too and it was the first two. 

I think that hardest part of being a parent is letting our kids make our own decisions especially when we KNOW they are the wrong ones.  The only thing I can say is focus on your son, you don't want him to get in the frame of mind that he has to behave badly to get attention.

Good luck with your daughter!
by on Feb. 24, 2008 at 8:03 AM

TOUGH LOVE- you have to quit babying her let her go and find out what its like in the real world. Most jobs nowadays wont hire you without a diploma or ged. I am 19 and I have a 21mo. old son I had to grow up real quick, no I don't regret having him but if I could have changed the timing I would have. Anyways you have to let her go and as hard as it will be if she truely isnt ready (in this case it seems she is being irrational and rebelious) she will come back. I'd say if she hasnt been gone longer than 6mo. she will more than likely come home, because god knows it is NOT easy being in the real world! It actually really sucks and she will learn that she had it made. So just give her time to spread her wings, but she will come back to the nest- dont worry too much Mama Bird.

by on Feb. 24, 2008 at 11:31 AM
unless she is an adult...I would take her and pick her up to school every day! SHE does not have the choice until she is 18, you are in charge!!!! Good Luck!
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