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he wants to stay at my moms!?!?!?*am i a bad mom?** (could be long)

Posted by on Feb. 24, 2008 at 9:39 AM
  • 4 Replies
my son is 7 yrs old and he has always been a momas boy untill about 3 months ago and then he started throwing a fit to sleep and stay at his papa and memas house (my mom and dads place) now my parents do live just right across the drive way from me but at night i just feel empty like i'm a bad mom when he goes over to their house for the remainder of the night! i also have a 8 month old little boy and i dont know if my oldest is doing it because of attention or what? well about 3 months ago i started making him sleep in his own bed instead of in my bed between my fiance and myself and my parents let him sleep with them.. now my son and my fiance do fight alot and argue about everything and they did that before we decided to get married! but i'm worried that could be why he dont wanna stay home. if it is how do i break the habit? i just want my son to say i'm tired will you get me a blanket so i can go to sleep on the couch? but instead now he says i'm tired i am going to grandma and grandpas house!! so he gives me a goodnight kiss and heads on.. now i did live with my parents untill he was 4 yrs old  and my mom and dad have been there since birth and would give him the world if they could! could it just be a comfort zone for him to be there with them? please help i'm confused am i bad mom because i am VERY gullable when it comes to my kids and i let them back talk and yell and scream and do and eat whatever they want?should i harden up and let him cry when i tell him that hes not going to grandma and grandpas that hes gotta stay home? or should i just let him sleep over there because he is more comfortable and sleeps better?
by on Feb. 24, 2008 at 9:39 AM
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Replies (1-4):
Lovebugbaby
by on Feb. 24, 2008 at 9:42 AM
Sit him down and ask him if he has a problem with your fiance. Maybe that's why he doesn't want to stay home. Is it possible he hit him? Or scared him in anyway?

As for his grandparents house, your mom, you make the rules and if you don't want him to leave the house, don't let him! It's that simple. Lock the door and tell him he's staying home.

 

Mommy2_two
by on Feb. 24, 2008 at 9:46 AM
First of all when you do let him stay pver at your parents house you need to tell them he needs to sleep in his own bed...NOT with them.
Second he needs to start sleeping at home...his home.  Letting him stay over there is not solving the problem. He probably wants to stay there b/c he gets all the attention and doesn't have to share the spotlight with the baby. Plus he gets to sleep with his grandparents in their bed.
Letting your kids back talk and yell and scream and do and eat whatever they want needs to stop.He is the child and you are the parent. If he throws a fit when you tell him to sleep in his own bed then so be it.
GOOD LUCK!
crltk
by on Feb. 24, 2008 at 9:46 AM
lol my six year old (who will be 7 in july) is currently at my parents house. He goes over there every weekend to spend the night. he always tells me i want to live with gandma and pops and I am never coming home. I used to get jealous but realized that when he is over there he is treated like a king. he gets all the attention to himself, they take him out to eat, to the movies, the zoo, the park etc. so they spoil him rotten when he goes over there. i let him go every weekend because i know he loves to go and my parents love having him there. now if i could only get them to take my other two children that would be great! LOL

but as far as your situation goes your son may want to get away from the fighting with your fiance. and seeing as he grew up in your parents house he probably feels safe there because it feels like his home. its not that your a bad mother at all. maybe you could try to talk to them about the fighting that goes on in between them? just rest asssured that your son does love you, he is probably just going over there to get lots of attention.

 

      

peacheylady
by on Feb. 24, 2008 at 9:50 AM
I agree with the lady above me.  Sit down and ask your son what is going on.  Why does not like sleeping in his own bed and why are the 2 fighting.  If you do not want him to go across the street tell him NO you have to stay home.  What do you about his going to school if he sleeps at your parents house.  Do they get him up and off to school or what?  You have to be firm with your son, if not he will walk over you later when he gets older.  Just be firm with him.
Huggs,
 Barb
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