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need some support

Posted by on Feb. 26, 2008 at 6:38 PM
  • 6 Replies
My grandmother (moms side) died this morning. I don't know what she died of, mommy was too upset to really talk about it. The funeral's Saturday morning.

My grandpa (dad's side) is dying. He has really bad cancer- in his brain, lungs and spine.. he's been on Hospice for about 2 weeks. He hasn't woken up at all today and he's not breathing right. Nobody thinks he'll live through the night.

So- I know this is a lame thing to be upset about right now.. but I can't stop thinking about how much it'll suck if the funerals are at the same time. YES it sucks that my grandparents are dying/dead. I love/d them- but, I can't change that. Y'know? If I could, I would.. but I'm not God. So- if Grandpa dies tonight (which he probably will. Poor guys been holding on for 3months) the chances are pretty high that the funeral will be on Saturday too. Then what do I do? I can't miss either... and to top that off

here's one of the great things that pregnancy makes me worry about

I have nothing to wear. I dont fit in my old clothes- and I can't make the faux pas of not wearing black. So? I have to go shopping-no big deal, right? Wrong. Shopping makes me more depressed (going from size 3 to size 9 would do that to most women) and I hate maternity clothes. I hate funerals.
by on Feb. 26, 2008 at 6:38 PM
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Replies (1-6):
mommamolly194
by on Feb. 26, 2008 at 6:44 PM
Oh man that is going to be a tough one,  maybe they will be at different times,  and you can leave one early.  I don't know is you can get it in time but gap.com has cute maternity clothes,  I would even get clothes from the gap "tall" for women (online only)  They are long enough to cover the belly.
Pumamama
by Member on Feb. 26, 2008 at 8:39 PM
Sorry you're family is going through so much right now. Give maternity clothes a try. Comfort did a great deal for my mood. I think it's Motherhood maternity that often has great deals. Just to get a black sweater and pants shouldn't be too much and it's simple--no weird fashion or design, just you and your pregnant belly. You'll probably be able to make an appearance at both, or spend time with your family members. It will all work out. It's a highly emotional time for you and everyone you're surrounded by. Breathe, get some time to quiet your mind and try not to let it all overwhelm you. Take care.
mamasitax2
by on Feb. 26, 2008 at 8:43 PM
My dad died while I was pregnant with my oldest.  I just wore black pants with a white shirt with a black embroidered design around the collar, maternity of course.  It was comfortable and people understand not wearing all black if you're preggo.
proudmamaofash
by on Feb. 26, 2008 at 9:56 PM
I am so sorry that you are going through so much right now. There are , without a doubt, enough things to think about when you are prego and then to have to deal with those kind of emotions.....
Hang in there. You're thinking the worst and it will turn out completely different. You will do your best to be at both funerals, and be there for your family like they need you to be.
The one reply to you about Motherhood Maternity was what I would suggest. If you can afford it go buy yourself the comfortable maternity pants and a nice black shirt and be done with it. Even try Old Navy...they are nice and comfy.

Is this your first? I am 4'8"....I am a size 0 not prego.....when I am prego...OMG!! Talk about depressing! I am not back to a 0 but I'm pretty close....after three children, c-section. My point is....you will get back to your pre prego weight.....don't be soooo hard on yourself right now. Give yourself a lot of credit for the life your carrying around and the support you will be to your family at both funerals!!
You can do it!!
Crystal J.
vanillaeclare
by on Feb. 26, 2008 at 10:01 PM
I'm so sorry to hear about all you're going through. Hang in there. It will get better.

As for what to wear, you don't need to make any fashion statements. When my grandmother died, I thought I HAD to wear black. I went out and bought new outfits for the wake and funeral. Turns out, almost NO ONE wore black. Everyone was dressed for church, but not necessarily in black.

And since you are pregnant, I'm sure NO ONE will have a problem with you wearing whatever you have. As long as you look nice, you'll be fine. And don't worry about the extra pounds! They are GOOD. You are a beautiful pregnant lady, making a new life!

Also, if the funerals are on the same day, I'm sure they won't be at the exact same time. You can juggle. Just try not to be so hard on yourself! Do what you can do. People will understand no matter what you wear or do.

Hang in there and good luck.
cutiepie1987
by on Feb. 27, 2008 at 12:07 AM

First of all Im so sorry to hear about your loss and your grandad.At least neither of them will be suffering anymore and they will be happy and have new bodies in heaven.Actually you should be happy for them I mean I know it seems sad but they are going to be so happy.Im sure both of them would want nothing more than everyone not to be sad but happy for them.Just try to think of the positivi side of it and not the sad side.They have really cute maternity clothes now adays.I used to love it when I was pregnant.Everyone gets bigger you're definitly not the only one.Picture this I was 115 pounds and 5'11 when i found out I was pregnant then by the end of it I was up to 170! I was huge but I loved it.I loved sporting maternity clothes and everyone said I was cuet and i love it.Just pick out somethign darling and everyone will compliment you because im sure it will be so cute.Cherish the days of your pregancy because tehy wont be here forever and they;re one of the best times of a woman life

http://www.cafemom.com/group/36487

group owner babies before marriage check it out!

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