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Advice for Moms Advice for Moms

How would you feel

Posted by on Feb. 28, 2008 at 12:29 AM
  • 12 Replies
My daughter is having a bi-racial baby. My mother has never been ugly to a child but she called me the other day and sais she dreamed my daughter had a big nappy headed black as the ace of spades baby......................

My head spun, I am so hurt. How racist to begin with and how verbally abusive is she going to be to my grandbaby? Can I give up my relationship with her for the sake of a child, Oh yes I can...do I want to no?


How would you feel?
by on Feb. 28, 2008 at 12:29 AM
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Replies (1-10):
haydan12
by on Feb. 28, 2008 at 12:38 AM
Wow that's harsh. My family may not agree with the bi racial aspect, but as a family that child shouldn't be shunned. She should love it no matter what. It's still a part of her. Do you think that this may change once the baby is here? Once she can hold it? 

I would feel really disrespected and I would confront her fast. Set  her straight that this is your pride and joy grand-baby, and also let her make the choice, if she can't be nice then she don't need to come around. That baby don't deserve that.
ky_phoenix
by on Feb. 28, 2008 at 12:41 AM
That would tick me off so badly that I would flat out ask her what the heck the difference color would make in anyone much less her grandchild. That is just crazy. I would probably go off on her and ask her when she became a damn racist . Sorry for the language, just makes me angry. It isn't like most of us aren't mutts anyway and that just burns my butt.
emme1964
by on Feb. 28, 2008 at 12:43 AM
Tell mom that you had a dream.  A dream of an accepting family, a family that loves your child and that will love your grand-child, a dream that is fulfilled by the unconditional love of a mother and grandmother.

Melodye
justine520
by on Feb. 28, 2008 at 12:46 AM
oh i would let my mom have it (we have an open relationship).  that is no way to talk about any baby, child, teen, or adult.  if she aint gonna be nice then she shouldn't have the privilege of getting to know ur grand-baby.
justine a
Julianne301
by on Feb. 28, 2008 at 12:50 AM
Oh, no.  My mother has been known to say a few Critical things, and she is terrible about saying my middle daughter needs to lose weight (and I am Not putting a growing child on a restricted diet), but even I would have to get defensive on that.  The things my mother says are just rude, but she does not say them to the children and I DO tell her off about it.  Most things I let slide...comments about children...No.
tiffanismommica
by on Feb. 28, 2008 at 12:50 AM
Thank you all, I talked to hubby today and told him that she is not welcome during the birth. I am shocked at her but, my family was raised that way and there is a certian socail status she has to uphold.............so, I am certian i will not even tell her when my precious angel has her baby.

I am glad I am not the only one offended and the dream about unconditional love....I am using that one!!!
3Guys1Mom
by on Feb. 28, 2008 at 12:50 AM
Thats lame..... First off it's her Great grand baby... Has she no love for a child? Thats wrong. That baby will still be of her. If she feels that way then yes I'd separate my self from her. I'd have to. Our job as family is to protect our children from every thing and every body. Even our selves if we had to. It sucks she would even say that dirt out loud. Lame...
http://www.cafemom.com/group/letsplayseattle



loriec
by on Feb. 28, 2008 at 12:52 AM
Thats  a deep issue, I am bi-racial and are more white in appearance than anything, your grandmother needs to get the nappy-headed ,dark images out of her mind....that nappy head stuff is a stereo type about black people. My kids are more black than I and absolutely gorgeous!!my son has long,wavy hair......nothing nappy!
Bottom line is look around there are some beautiful bi-racial cuties; Vanessa Williams,Hallie Berrie,Mariah Carey..............................,
jsjammerz
by on Feb. 28, 2008 at 12:54 AM
I love this answer! 

I would be hurt as well. My family is pretty against bi-racial relationships.  I would hate to think how my dad would react if my DH was another race.  It wouldn't have stopped me anyway if color was the only thing that was supposedly "wrong" with him!
Quoting emme1964:

Tell mom that you had a dream. A dream of an accepting family, a family that loves your child and that will love your grand-child, a dream that is fulfilled by the unconditional love of a mother and grandmother.

Melodye

loriec
by on Feb. 28, 2008 at 12:55 AM
look forward to a blessing from God, shame on any racist that would shun a unborn child based on their rich african-american heritage.
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