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I Need Advice Please!! (Kind of long)

Posted by on Feb. 28, 2008 at 10:49 AM
  • 2 Replies
I need to now what is the best way to handle a situatioin  in my family!! Recently my SIL (I love her to death and she is 23 yrs old !!) has started dating this guy. She is away at college and we barley get to see her. So we don't know very much about this guy she is dating. My mother in law went on myspace and facebook to see what she could find out about this guy!! She also ended up creating a fake face book account. My hubby told his sis last Sunday about what MIL was doing! At first she was a little upset. As the day wore on she just got more and more upset. She went on to myspace and facebook and blocked all of her stuff from her mom. She also quit talking to her mom (she has a right not to want to talk to her mom!!) She is trying to get all of her FAFSA stuff done for grad school and MIL need some answers to some questions she was having and SIL won't answer her emails. MIL has been crying all week and they are getting mad at my hubby (wouldn't be a big deal except for the fact that we live with them)! Well FIL finally got some stuff out of SIL. She said that " mother has pushed me into a corner and I have no one to talk to and she is stressed and frustrated!" So when I found all of this out I realized that this was the breaking point. My SIl has been telling me that she doesn't want to come home because of her parents!! My problem is weither or not to tell my MIL what is wrong! They went from talking at least three times a day to none at all!! I need Help PLEASE
by on Feb. 28, 2008 at 10:49 AM
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Replies (1-2):
knoxmomof2
by Bronze Member on Feb. 28, 2008 at 11:01 AM
Eeek.. that's a tough one....all I can think of it that maybe you can try to get SIL to come around? I would not tell MIL what SIL said BECAUSE... that's just putting you two in the middle again.... although I can see why DH did what he did, it obviously created some problems. This isn't much, but hope SIL is willing to forgive. I would avoid all future incidents though... with you living with them (been there, done that!) you guys don't need anymore strikes against you than already come with living with family...
3boym
by on Feb. 28, 2008 at 11:22 AM
Maybe you can help SIL to see MIL's actions in the best of lights-- yes she was snooping, at the same time, it was likely done out of care and love.  The last thing any of you would want is her to accidentally date a guy who has some crazy history.

Is this really such a huge deal its worth making a huge family rift over it to her?

Likewise, maybe you can help MIL to see why SIL might feel violated-- here she is trying to grow up and live a private life, and she's ready to stand on her own feet and make her own choices.

I'd try to do this, not by taking sides, but just by asking lots of questions.

Good luck!
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