Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

My SO doesn't understand where I'm coming from

Posted by on Dec. 15, 2008 at 8:54 AM
  • 1 Replies

I can't seem to get over the past, I try and try but I can't.

This is what happened. I was pregnant the same time as my SO sister in law our kids would of been a month apart. Her baby passed away 2 days before the delivery date, it was a very emotional time for us all. And I got the shitty end of the stick because my baby lived from many family members. It's like they blamed me for what happened to the baby, as if I didn't have enough guilt already.

Anyways, the sister in law had another baby and she's healthy and happy :)

A few months after my son was  born I don't know if my SO had alot of guilt or if his family was trying to put things into his head or what but he started drinking again. The day I had to pick my sons fundraiser stuff up he disappeared the whole day and came home drunk. And then expected me to leave my kids and pick up the stuff, yeah like that was going to happen. We got into this huge fight, and in the middle of it his mother called. We lived very close to her, the house we lived in was hers. She came down, woke both of my kids up told me that they were going down her house so I could pick up the stuff and then started cussing me out in front of my kids blaming me for him being drunk.

I was on the floor trying to change my 2 month old sons diaper and I had her pointing her finger in my face screaming at me. I made a comment back to her and then her husband jumped in my face. My kids were bawling, especially my 6 year old at the time.

Then my SO edged them on saying she doesn't do anything wrong and had them all fired up cussing me out still and he left me there to get cussed out by his parents. They told me my kids and I had 1 week to find another place to live, maybe I should go live with my mommy.

That night I called a place up and found us a place to live, I still had some money left from my income tax to pay for 1st months rent and a deposit. We moved in within 2 weeks. My SO at the time said that he thought we should take a break, and I thought the same. Till his mother and father kicked him out then he automatically moved in with me.

To top that off I guess when he moved his stuff in, he brought over a TV that he thought was his and I guess it was his sisters. She came over, I thought she was there to see the baby and she started a fist fight with me for her TV. I told her several times before she snatched me up out of my house in the middle of March with the door wide open with my son in his bouncer on the floor that her brother was at his friends house go get him and he'll give you the TV. Instead she thought she would try to beat me up but I got the best of her. So I had to go to the magistrate for that. It was a 15 year old big TV that if I tried to pick it up my guts probably would of fallen out of me since I just had a child.

Big deal over that it was all my fault of course, I won the hearing they weren't to pleased with that. His sister is living in our old house go figure, and finally we are talking to his parents but I still have some major resentment towards them.

Every once in awhile when I'm over his mothers she'll say I wish my family was like it was before. So I told her that if Hope apologises for starting a fight with me that I'll let by gones be by gones she told me that would never happen because she's still upset because of the name I called her. Well yeah I might of said a few things while she was trying to get me down on the ground and head butting me in my stomach.  But I'll be darned if I'm going to apologise for it.

I still hold a big grudge over this and I don't know how to move on from it. I don't want to have anything to do with my SO. Especially sexually there is nothing there. He's changed since this happened he doesn't drink, he has a steady job.  It's been almost 2 years since this happened and I can't get over it. Should I go talk to someone?

If anybody can help me know what I must do to get over this please tell me.

Mindy

 

by on Dec. 15, 2008 at 8:54 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-1):
Xx_Andrea_Xx
by on Dec. 15, 2008 at 9:04 AM

The whole damn family sounds a little wacky to me. You don't need a man like that, much less a family, I say if you can make it on your own and you don't love him, get out, you don't realize how happy you will be and the the stress that's just lifted off of your shoulders, some people just take family to extremes your man is suppose to be on your side at all times not to when he wants to be .And the old TV hell I would have busted it and then told her to take it. SIL can be a pain the ass sometimes. Good Luck

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)