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Was I wrong....need advice please.....kinda long

Posted by on Dec. 17, 2008 at 10:13 AM
  • 8 Replies

Hello I'm new here at cafe mom and love this website.. Well let me tell you what happened this morning it was like 12am and I got a text from my sister (we live in the same house). So she starts to tell me her friend and her friends boyfriend got kicked out and they were out on the street with nowhere to go, so she asked if they could stay. These kids are teenagers ages 17 and 18. My first reaction was like why don't the get a hotel or something. I don't know them and to tell you the truth I don't trust them I've seen them once and they look like thugs. ( I know I should not judge by appearance but I just have a bad feeling about them.) So I was trying to give her options to where they can stay and she got really mad at me and started to tell me the cops were looking for her because she's a runaway she lives with her uncle not her parents and because she a minor and had no money and that she was crying ect, ect. So then I definitely said no. All I could think about was my kids and their safety. (I have a 10 month old girl and a 4 year old boy ) I work from 7a- 4pm so she tells me that they would leave as soon as I came to work (which I did not believe) and they would sleep in her room so that I would not worry that something would happen.  And the babysitter happens to be my sisters friend too so I know she would probably let them back in as soon as I left if my sister asked her to. Many things went through my head you never know what if they steal stuff from our house or worse that something were to happen to my kids. But in the other hand I do feel bad because they were out in the cold with nowhere to stay. (well that's what my sister said). Do you think I was wrong by not letting them stay??? What would you do in a situation like this??

by on Dec. 17, 2008 at 10:13 AM
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Replies (1-8):
Carmel1721
by on Dec. 17, 2008 at 10:16 AM

I personally wouldnt of let them stay.I think that you made the right choice. from what you posted, my sister is the same way, but I wont not even let her friends in my house- but her either. So I agree with you, and she can be mad at you, but its your house, so your rules!

norbert
by on Dec. 17, 2008 at 10:22 AM

  Trust your gut mama, something is telling you not to let them stay, don't question your instincts.  You have a responsiblity to your children. There are shelters, organizations etc.. out there to help people.  I would offer suggestions as to where they can turn for help, but if your leery about them being around your kids then trust it.

jnick82
by on Dec. 17, 2008 at 10:23 AM

I'm with the PP ALWAYS trust your gut. Plus if the cops are really looking for the girl because she is a runaway you could end up in trouble

happyJennifer

lcbowman
by on Dec. 17, 2008 at 10:24 AM

Yes you did the right thing.  I would not let people around my children who I had any suspions about and since your sister said the one friend was being looked for by the police for being a runaway that could get you in trouble too.  Yes I feel bad for people who have "no place to go" but the truth is most do have a place to go they would just rather not go there. 

jaycee1124
by on Dec. 17, 2008 at 10:25 AM

I 100% agree!

Quoting lcbowman:

Yes you did the right thing.  I would not let people around my children who I had any suspions about and since your sister said the one friend was being looked for by the police for being a runaway that could get you in trouble too.  Yes I feel bad for people who have "no place to go" but the truth is most do have a place to go they would just rather not go there. 


2callmemom09
by on Dec. 17, 2008 at 10:26 AM

she ran away, it's her fault she has no where to stay. tell her to GO BACK HOME! as for her 18 y/o boyfriend, well maybe he should find a job. by that age i had a 2 y/o and lived on my own so i have no sympathy for them.

sgilbert211
by on Dec. 17, 2008 at 10:27 AM

I think you absolutely did the right thing. ALWAYS trust your gut. Your kids safety has to come first. I would have said no also especially when the cops are looking for this girl. I'm sure there is more to that story and if found at your house you would be in trouble too. Let your sister be mad, she'll get over it. You were thinking like a mom!!!


                                       

MrsQueen0306
by on Dec. 17, 2008 at 10:30 AM


I don't think you were wrong. becuz you have alot of really good points. but if it were me, I would have let them come stay. I wouldn't worry about them stealing anything from my house, but thats becuz I just don't feel that way about anyone. and if I had a baby sitter who I trusted with my kids, I would trust that she would care for my kids and the teenagers would stay out of the way. like stay sleeping or just get up and eat and watch tv or something. but again I see your points and don't think you did anything wrong. but if I were in that sistuation I would have let them come over and get out of the cold. and in the morning got phone numbers to call the parents (or uncle) or whom ever and try to get things strighented out.

*DISCLAIMER*    THIS IS MY OPINION, ITS NOT BASHING BECUZ I COULD REALLY CARE A LESS WHAT YOU DO WITH YOUR CHILD, IT DOESN'T AFFECT ME. AND I DON'T CARE ENOUGH TO FORM AN OPINION ON YOU AS A PERSON OR MOTHER. THIS IS JUST MY OPINION BECUZ YOU POSTED. AND OPENED THE DICUSSION


    

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