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Posted by on Jan. 2, 2009 at 1:22 PM
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 Ok so my oldest son is two years old since november and im not sure what to do he has really hit the terriable 2 stage and time out doesnt seem to work at least not the way i am doing it which is sitting him on the couch. He wont listen to me and he is hitting his brother. ( which has to stop as his brother is only one) no matter how stern i am with him he continues to ignore me. WHAT DO I DO!!!

by on Jan. 2, 2009 at 1:22 PM
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by Gold Member on Jan. 2, 2009 at 1:47 PM

Hi tashamarie21,

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by on Jan. 2, 2009 at 1:54 PM

When my first child was going through the "terrible twos" I thought I was going to rip my hair out!  I was a single mom and determined to prove that I could do it without help.  In stead of asking my aunts or cousins who had children...I decided to use the tough love method and hope it helped.  He would throw tantrums, literally throwing himself on the floor and kicking and screaming for 15 minutes or longer!  I started picking him up and holding him on my lap in such a way that he couldn't move....but not hurting him of course.  He would scream for a few minutes and then just cry for a few minutes.  After the 4th or 5th time I did it...he stopped.  He would still cry if he didn't get his way, but he stopped throwing himself on the floor.  My aunts praised me for my patience.  lol Now he's 14 and when he throws a tantrum....I just threaten to take everything electronic away from him and he's good.  :-) Every kid is different and so is every parent.  Good luck!!!

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by on Jan. 2, 2009 at 1:55 PM

I am going through sort of the same thing with my little man.  He will not listen to me, but if his dad says it just once, he listens.  It irritates me to no end.  I don't really have any advice for you, but I am there with you.

by on Jan. 2, 2009 at 2:02 PM

Have you ever heard of love and logic?  It's a series of books on parenting.  I never in my wildest dreams thought I would use a parenting book but my pediatrician recommended it and he uses it with his kids.  My daughter is 2 and I know what you are going through.  Since I started love and logic with her my house is a much more bearable place to be.  She is learning better behavior with out me getting anywhere near as frustrated.  I love it, it's working for me and I haven't talked to a parent yet who's tried it and had it fail.  You can order the books on line or get them at a book store you may even be able to check them out at the library.

I was a spanker and big time outer, but have since learned that all the anger and frustration that come with those is not really worth it, when you can remove the one thing they are truly screaming for.  Time with the family, I can now look at McKinzie when a tantrum starts and say uh oh and she will get up, walk to her room, calm down and come back out all smiles and ready to listen!

good luck

by on Jan. 2, 2009 at 2:06 PM

stay as calm as you possibly can! trust me i know its easier said then done, i have a hyper little 3 1/2 year old who fights with his little sister 1 1/2.

but really, when he does something bad, instead of you yelling at him (because he will then learn to yell to get his point across), get down to his level, calmly say that his actions are not appropriate, or in his terms 'hitting is a no no, mommy wants you to stop please, if you hit again you will get a time out'. stay calm the entire time. he might hit again. at that point dont say 'i told you' and throw him in a corner. again, get down to his level, calmly say 'mommy told you hitting is a no no, now you will have a time out for 2 minutes'. when the two minutes is over, get down again and explain 'buddy, you were in this time out for hitting because that is not ok, now you can go play with your brother'. its time consuming and some times i want to give up, but it is more time consuming to fight and argue and yell when they dont listen! id rather do it this way, it makes for good communication in the future too.

remember...stay calm!

by on Jan. 2, 2009 at 2:12 PM

I'm there with you too, but it's my second time around. My DD was the temper tantrum queen and her son (18 months) has a temper too. He just started slapping us so I use the same little time-out stool for him as I used for his mommy lol. He has to sit for one minute and by then he has his composure back. My DD was worse than him, so there were many times I had to hold her and rock her until she calmed down. Her doctor had suggested that, and also to tell her I was holding her to help her get back in control, and that did help. Also I make sure to keep him on a good schedule with meals and snacks since hunger often kicks off a tantrum. Once my daughter could talk better and make herself understood, the tantrums went away, so I talk things out with grandson, you know, try to figure out what he is saying and respond to that and that helps too.

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