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Does the guilt every go away??? PIOG

Posted by on Jan. 2, 2009 at 1:39 PM
  • 7 Replies

Hi everyone! I had my son Lucas 3 weeks ago today, and we also have a DD who is almost 5. I always feel so guilty...that im not spending enough time with her, that Im not paying enough attention to her...that I may have yelled at her to quickly (being soo stressed out from a colicky baby). That she feels left out or neglected??? 

Does this gullty feeling every go away?? 

by on Jan. 2, 2009 at 1:39 PM
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by on Jan. 2, 2009 at 1:42 PM

Yes it does get easier... I have three little ones at home and I still worry that I may not be paying enough attention to one or yelling to quickly but that is part of having more than one child. If you feel you need time with her than try to lay baby down at bed time or for a nap and color with her or watch a movie. Even if baby wakes it will mean alot to her that you were with her for the time that you were able. And if daddy can help out ask if you can take an hour and go get icecream with her to make her feel special.

Also ask her to help you as often as possible. Say can you get me a diaper or can you help mommy pick out babies clothes. The more involved you keep her the better.. Good luck

Wifey To Him Mommy To Them In Love And Lovin It

by on Jan. 2, 2009 at 1:55 PM

Its hard. I wasnt ready for the guilt.  I mostly feel guilty that I dont get to spend the time with my oldest and have WAY less patience for him now :(

I schedule regular "dates" with him.  Movies, lunch, etc.
It helps a ton. Every once in a while he'll ask me if we can go on a date and I know he needs some extra attention from me.

I should make my marriage as much of a priority with "dates" but I dont, LOL.

by on Jan. 2, 2009 at 6:38 PM


by on Jan. 2, 2009 at 6:52 PM

I  felt very guilty when we had our second son.   He also had colic and it was so hard to deal with. I remember I felt so guilty, that I had my husband stay with our older son the second night he was born, instead of staying with me at the hospital.  Then the baby cried all night and I couldn't soothe him.  I can also remember having my husband build the swingset for my older son the first week our second was born and it took him, like 24 hours.  It does get easier.  Looking back, I wish that I wasn't so worried about our older son.  He was thrilled about having a brother.  I do remember being so stressed because of the colic, and then raising my voice, and feeling so guilty.  I wish I had also done more for myself, like exercise, pampering, etc.  Having a baby with colic can feel very isolating.  People really don't understand unless they have been through it.  Once your child gets over it, it will be easier for all of you.  Take care!



by Bronze Member on Jan. 2, 2009 at 7:03 PM


by on Jan. 2, 2009 at 7:05 PM

im sorry to hear about that, for all of you but now i know what i have to look forward to when we have our second... i hope i do ok, gl

by on Jan. 2, 2009 at 7:14 PM

Wow, I'm glad I found this post. I thought I was the only one feeling guilty about how my other kids feel with the baby. I know my middle son has a lot of jealousy, and even though I work hard to give him as much affection as possible, I always feel like there's something more I could do. Glad to know I'm normal. :)

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