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Here's a hard question

Posted by on Jan. 2, 2009 at 4:29 PM
  • 22 Replies

So... I am a single mom. I'm sure there are alot of women out there who have some advice for me so don't be shy! But don't be mean :) Here is my question.... I have been dating a guy for 6 months.... he is pretty much perfect with my son and I BUT when we go out to dinner or do activites... it seems like I am paying alot. I don't mind paying for my son and I but to have to pay for him too... seems stupid. He should be paying for us at least half the time.... don't you think??? I know my son is my responsiblility but what should I do??? Should I tell him that I will pay for myself and my son but I can't afford to pay for him too.... I'm in college and I only work part-time for God's sake! I love him but I think he has alot of growing up to do..... What should I do????

by on Jan. 2, 2009 at 4:29 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Blondee512
by on Jan. 2, 2009 at 4:30 PM

Ack! You are a Mom, but not his Mom....don't pay for him.

Say something. Maybe he doesn't know any better.

mymichelle2002
by on Jan. 2, 2009 at 4:33 PM

You CAN have seperate bills when you go out. Sometimes people don't realize this.

onebeautifulgir
by on Jan. 2, 2009 at 4:34 PM

Be honest...tell him you can only afford you and your kid....he shouldn't expect for you to pay everytime 

jenerica
by on Jan. 2, 2009 at 4:55 PM

When you go out to eat, ask the server for separate checks.  As far as activities go (like movies and such), buy your own tickets and leave it up to him to buy his own.  If he looks at you funny or asks you what's up, just tell him you're strapped for cash.  I agree with the pp, you're not his mom.

ntorres805
by on Jan. 2, 2009 at 11:57 PM

Okay, I was a single mom for years before I met my current husband, you should not be paying for him period. I have a well paying occupation and would not dream of paying for a dates dinner or anything else, I would how ever pay for my children, I think he is going along for the ride, I would not discuss this with him, I would simply state I am tight on money and cannot afford to go out and if he does not get the hint, dump him, the right guy is out there.

SheHoldsTheKey
by on Jan. 3, 2009 at 12:56 AM

Eh. I'm a single mom too. I've been out on a couple dates (never with my daughter though), and I usually pay for myself.

Recently I went out a couple times with an ex and paid for him, but he paid for me a couple times also.

You definitely shouldn't be paying for him all the time. Not being a single mom and in school and stuff. Next time you guys are trying to plan something, just mention that you can't really afford to pay for everyone and tell him you'd love to go out but he's gonna have to pay for himself!!!

 

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MAGINA123
by on Jan. 3, 2009 at 1:05 AM

I would only pay if we are going to a dinner and movie and my date pay for dinner i may offer to pay for the movie, your date should not expect you to pay for him all the time, girl unless u got it made like that. you need to bring it up, politely and in private.

Familytyme
by on Jan. 3, 2009 at 10:01 AM

I agree with the other moms, you should not have to pay for him at all.  I can't imagine any self respecting man would let a single mother pay his way all the time. Next time he invites you and your son out, tell him that you would love to go and politely ask him if he could cover the expenses this time.  If he says that he can't then simply tell him that you can't afford it and will have to stay home this time.  After doing this a couple of times I am sure he will get the hint.

 

Zanny
by Bronze Member on Jan. 3, 2009 at 10:05 AM

Any man worth your while will never require you to even reach into your purse.

A decent Man will ALWAYS pay the Lady's Way, and her Child's too. 

My husband, has never once, in 12 years, let me pay

MayMommy07
by on Jan. 3, 2009 at 10:10 AM

I would agree with the other Mom's...Don't pay for him...You have one child not two. It is a hard situation to be in...when the bill comes. Put if he really likes you and he is a respectful person he would understand that you can't pay for him all the time. Try and do the two seperate bills next time and see what he does....you don't want to be taken for granted and used. Best of luck!!

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