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To tell or not to tell?

Posted by on Jan. 2, 2009 at 4:42 PM
  • 9 Replies

 

Poll

Question: Do I tell my Dad?

Options:

Yes

No


Only group members can vote in this poll.

Total Votes: 41

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Long story short my stepmom told me that she wants to divorce my Dad but wants to wait until she's out of school and has a job......do I tell my Dad or keep it to myself? If I tell my Dad and he asks my stepmom about it but yet my Dad doesn't do anything about it...it will be uncomfortable for me to go over to their house from here on out......I'm lost.

P.S. he is paying for her college so for lack of better words she is using him until she graduates and gets a job...THEN she will divorce him

 

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by on Jan. 2, 2009 at 4:42 PM
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Replies (1-9):
emilysmom1966
by on Jan. 2, 2009 at 4:45 PM

I would tell my dad because he would have some preparing to do as well. Maybe whatever it is that he is doing wrong he could fix it. I would also tell him not to tell her but, she will know. Hard one........

MrsDuarte54
by on Jan. 2, 2009 at 4:46 PM

i would think that it would be uncomfortable anyways... you know a huge secret and you have to face your dad until she tells him or you do. I would tell him. IMO i wouldnt want to hold it back and face him all the time knowing that. It seems to me like she is just holding on for the convience factor. thats a little mean. If I were him and found out that you knew but didnt say anything I would be mad. Good Luck. putting you in that position is really hard.

jenerica
by on Jan. 2, 2009 at 4:48 PM

I don't know what your relationship is like with your father...but if it were my daddy, I would tell him.  If it were my mom...probably not.

LavenderMom23
by Bronze Member on Jan. 2, 2009 at 4:48 PM

It is not your job to keep your stepmom's secrets or to protect anyone. So yes, you can tell him. But before you do think...make sure that she isn't playing some kind of game. Or that she isn't gonna change her mind?

sylviapike26
by on Jan. 2, 2009 at 4:49 PM

I didn't vote cause I think that you should wait and see what happens.  Is your dad aware that there are problems in the marriage?  My mom said she wants to divorce my step dad and they have had a lot of marriage problems, but I am not saying anything because things could always change.  Plus I don't really want to get involved.

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sweetscrappin
by on Jan. 2, 2009 at 4:54 PM

its going to be uncomfortable to begin with, but a previous posted wrote that he might have some preparing to do... some divorces go real nasty, i have had friends left with nothing... not even a frying pan ... so i'd talk to your dad and let it be his judgement to do what he feels to do... but i'd tell him... if he found out later that you knew and didnt say anything, that could be even harder to deal with

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bluescape
by on Jan. 2, 2009 at 5:37 PM

if it were my dad, there's no way in the world i would let him be taken advantage of. "uncomfortable" will wear off eventually, a broken relationship with your dad is much harder to fix. here's a thought that just came to me: i'll bet you that if your dad knew that someone was using you and was planning to up and leave you after you paid for his education, he wouldn't keep it from you--you're his baby! (if it were my dad he'd probably beat the living crap out of the guy and make him give me the money back!!)

Brandie_xo
by on Jan. 2, 2009 at 5:48 PM

I can't believe she flat out told you that. wow.  Yeah, I would tell him.   I'd feel terrible if I knew my dad was about to get royally screwed over and I was aware of it.

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Blessed324
by on Jan. 2, 2009 at 6:02 PM

What an uncomfortable position your stepmom has put you in.  I would allow your stepmom the opportunity of telling your dad her feelings and thoughts about their future by letting her know you will tell your dad if she doesn't within a reasonable amount of time (like 2 weeks or whatever).  I would let her know that if she doesn't find the appropriate time to explain what she is thinking to your dad, then you will tell him yourself.  This allows her the chance to take responsibility for her actions all the while honoring your dad's trust if she chooses to pass the burden of sharing onto you.  It's a win-win situation for you, unfortunately your dad may not see it as so, but he deserves to know the truth. 

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