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Any Advice would be greatly appreciated!! (kinda long)

Posted by on Jan. 21, 2009 at 2:19 PM
  • 6 Replies

Here the story goes... I got married in july to who i thought was the perfect guy. WRONG! Turns out he lied to me and didnt care about my feelings in least! It also didnt help that I has a newborn by another man. In october I had had enough \of the belittlement and the emotional strain and abuse (it was even affecting my dd). I decided it would be best if I moved. (We were living with his parents because he wasnt ready for us to be on our own) I moved and he moved with me.. After 2 days he decides he doesnt want to drive the 30 min it takes for him to get to work every day and wants to go back to his mothers house. I refused because his mom treated me horrible! So he left me and went back to his moms. I had had enough! I finally told him I wanted a divorce because I couldnt take the stress and the abuse anymore (we were together 2 years before we ever got married and it was the same then). He got mad and started being spiteful! (i.e. trying to get me fired and to get my daughter taken away.. harassing my family and threatening my life to name a few)  Well in November I met someone else and we started to become friends.. After awhile of being friends we decided to start seeing each other.. I didnt see the harm in it considering dh and i were seperated. Dh found out and flipped out because my new so is 21 years older than I am.. I dont see the age as an issue! SO has taken me in in my time of need has helped me provide for my child and provided me and my dd unconditional love and support and I couldnt be happier! I am in the process of getting a divorce.. Well yesterday my husband decided it would be a good idea to call my SO's job and make a complaint on him for living with a married woman and yadda yadda.. Being as my SO is a police officer he could have lost his job. I have done nothing to hurt my husband the entire time we were together. Even after we split i provided for him finacially.. and he is pulling this crap! I dont know what to do anymore! Any ideas ladies? I am sp stressed that I can't eat and all i can do is throw up and cry!  any advice at all is so greatly appreciated!

 

Sorry for any spelling, puncuation, or capitalization errors.. i am really stressed!

by on Jan. 21, 2009 at 2:19 PM
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Replies (1-6):
grownsexy
by on Jan. 21, 2009 at 2:31 PM

I am glad that you finely decided to move on you was in an emotionally abusive relationship. Your ex sounds like a real nut case. Don't let your past get in the way of your future your ex is your ex for a reason. If he calls your SO job again I would file a complaint against him. Sense your SO is a police officer he should know when what a person does is harrassing you.

One thing that you can get out of this painful lesson is that not everyone is worthy of your love. He sounded like a case from way back when. Make a decision to feel better, don't allow this creep to rob you of your sound mind and health that is giving him to much power. I advise you to move on despite him don't let his childish anal behavior get to you.

If you SO wasn't a police officer I would tell you a way to get rid of the jackass forever but sense he is and he could read this I will keep it straight. Keep doing what you do and move on with your SO. If he call the job again I would file a complaint. Make sure that you have your divorce papers and the filing date in your records. If you could I would try and get rid of him as soon as possible sometimes it is worth it to lose a little to gain a lot.hugs

luvmypoliceman2
by on Jan. 21, 2009 at 2:36 PM

Thanks so much for the advice! I am doing my best to move on! Im not usually one to let people get me down.. I guess just ignoring all the little stuff going on in my mind has finally caught up with me and I am stressing WAY to much!

KaseyHickman
by on Jan. 21, 2009 at 2:43 PM

Oh hun I am so sorry you are going through this right now. What happened with you hunny? I take it he didn't get fired. How much longer until the divorce is final. I really dont know what to say other than get him for harrassment. Thats all I know to do. Good Luck Sweety and if you need some one to talk to add me or pm me.

A Mother to Andrew and a Wife to Kyle


toddler boyin love

sweetscrappin
by on Jan. 21, 2009 at 2:49 PM

hugs hon.. do you have a legal paper stating that you are legally seperated from him?  If not, get one, and have a copy mailed to his suporvising officer... have it registered mail so that the person has to sign for it, and not some receptionist.  stay away from him, dont take calls from him, if need be, get a restraining order.  I think you mentioned the child isnt his right?  Well, that isnt an issue.. you have to protect yourself..  take care of you and your child first!  Work on protecting yourself and anything that you are linked with him with... if you have bank accounts, close it... i had a nasty ex and man he put me in debt before i even knew it... if you think he has done anything, believe me he's thought about it.. especially since he called your friends work... he also needs to be cafeful... if you need to talk, msg me.. hugs


luvmypoliceman2
by on Jan. 21, 2009 at 2:59 PM

Scott didnt get fired! THANK GOD! he has worked so hard for the last 20 years to be where he is in his career! I am not letting this ruin my life! Thanks for all of the support!

vangel34
by on Jan. 21, 2009 at 4:38 PM

Good for you.  The only thing you can do is distance yourself from him as much as possible until the divorce is finale.  If need be, consider a restraining order or see if you can press charges for harassment.

Quoting luvmypoliceman2:

Scott didnt get fired! THANK GOD! he has worked so hard for the last 20 years to be where he is in his career! I am not letting this ruin my life! Thanks for all of the support!


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