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I need sum input girls...plz

Posted by on Jan. 21, 2009 at 8:56 PM
  • 10 Replies

Well my daughter is 2 years old bout to turn 3 in march. His bio daddy hasn't been in the picture @ all. I filed child support when she was bout week old and I FINALLY got a check from him last week... figures huh? Anyways I just found out that he only has to pay 332 a month.... WTH???? that barely paids for the food I put in the house. My hubby now wants to adopt her. Since the bio doesn't have much to do with her doesn't even ask how she is doing... I'm only getting that much a month. Part of me wants my hubby to adopt her and the other part doesn't want me to do it b/c he is her dad even though hes not in the picture it isn't rite for her to have his last name.....I have ppl asking me why I don't let hubby adopt her and everything... What would you do? I'm actually thinking about sayign screw the child support and let my hubby adopt her....

by on Jan. 21, 2009 at 8:56 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Gizzy22
by on Jan. 21, 2009 at 8:59 PM
well in order for him to adopt her her bio father would have to give up his rights. and since you started the child support and crap then it may be harder for him to give his rights up and junk like that. I wanted the same thing.. I had no one to adopt my daughter but i haven't even received a check form her father who only has to pay 293 a month(they go off income he makes nothing a month) and they said that he would have to agree to give his rights up to my daughter in order for him to have nothing to do with her and no money being sent and for someone to have the ability to adopt her in the future.






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MoMmAgAmEr
by on Jan. 21, 2009 at 9:02 PM


Quoting Gizzy22:

well in order for him to adopt her her bio father would have to give up his rights. and since you started the child support and crap then it may be harder for him to give his rights up and junk like that. I wanted the same thing.. I had no one to adopt my daughter but i haven't even received a check form her father who only has to pay 293 a month(they go off income he makes nothing a month) and they said that he would have to agree to give his rights up to my daughter in order for him to have nothing to do with her and no money being sent and for someone to have the ability to adopt her in the future.


Just woundering is his name on her birth cert.??? Mine isn't...I'm the only one on there....

reynab23
by on Jan. 21, 2009 at 9:03 PM

I get where your coming from, on both parts. I would continue to get child support and leave it as is. why? well because that is his daughter and he should pay you 3something a month, even if it's only only 3something. Be grateful for one, because not a lot of women get even close to that(I'm supposed ot get 160 a month for my 8year old, that's nothing). What you think is nothing to you is something to the one who has to pay(trust me I know). Your daughter's ownership shouldn't be about money and how much you get for her. When she gets older she will decided if she wants him in her life, and she'll see who has been around and who hasn't. So just leave things the way they are, just my opinion.

thehairnazi
by on Jan. 21, 2009 at 9:03 PM

i'm not sure what to tell you, but $332/mo sounds like an adequate amount, unless he's a pro-baller. that over $80/wk...is this to include childcare or no? if it does, then yeah, i'd want more money. i'm sure the amount is dependent on his monthly income, correct? a percentage?

if you're totally without doubt about your current husband being a good father to  your c hild, and the bio-dad is nowhere, i'd start the adoption proceedings. i'm sure you'd have to get the bio-dad to give up parental rights or something first.

Miranda926
by on Jan. 21, 2009 at 9:05 PM

I hear you on this one!  My first daughters biological father didn't decide to show his face until my baby was 4.  As far as the adoption goes, I would do it in a heart beat, my husband now has raised my daughter since she was 9 mo old and would love nothing more than to call her his own.  My ex however wont sign over rights, he would rather call me and complain because I wont let him claim her on taxes and he has to pay child support and stuff.  Arg he drives me nuts!!  Sorry about that...Anywho, I don't know where you live but I know that in Illinois all you have to do is post the adoption notice in the local newspaper 3 times and if he doesn't respond thats his problem.  Good luck I wish you well!

Gizzy22
by on Jan. 21, 2009 at 9:06 PM
His name is on the certificate.. But the fact of already going after for child support he has rights to her now. so he would have to give it up.. Have you tried talking to the father about it? Sometimes they will agree right to it to mean they can save money for themselves.. Ya know most men are selfish.. I guess the first few steps you need to take is to talk to someone(legal advice) and ask how you would go about it. Some states are different. I live in MI.. but i would call the state and ask them you want to refuse child support and the bio father not to have any rights anymore so your hubby can adopt your child.. See what they say. I wish you the best of luck though!
Quoting MoMmAgAmEr:








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kerijeanbean
by on Jan. 21, 2009 at 9:09 PM

My son's bio father hasn't seen him in almost 5 years.  I haven't heard from in a year and a half.  I do get child support however.  He has absolutely refused to give up his rights.  Why I have no idea, but he has.  I am simply waiting until my son turns 18.  Then if he wants to change his name to my husband's (his daddy) last name he can. 

You never know your chld father may give hup his rights.  It would get him out of paying child support.  You can always ask.  The worst he can do is say no.  If he says no you can have it done when your daughter turns 18.

Keri
Mom to
Chris 3/27/2000
Blaine 12/15/2005


treysmama06
by Silver Member on Jan. 21, 2009 at 9:37 PM

well my bio dad signed his right over  and he was never in my life .... so ur kids dad will have to sign over rights but if he has never had anything to do with her and i can see that he doesnt want to pay anyways since she is 3 then maybe he will just sign the papers and yall can live ur lives

vkp23
by on Jan. 21, 2009 at 10:14 PM

My husbands dad is not his bio dad.  DH mom got married when DH was about 10 and her husband legally adopted DH.  DH bio dad was required to show up for the final hearing in order to keep his rights.  he didn't show so he lost his rights.  and now DH mom's husband is DH dad last name and all.  Thank god too I don't think I would like the last namd Gordon.  too rednack sounding to me.  No offence to any Gordons out there.

 

I am a conservative, gun loving, PRO-LIFE no exceptions, ANTI-CIO, semi-co-sleeping, clinically depressed, government hating, plus sized, let my kids have junk food, obsessed with my hubby who is my first and only (and vise verse), Christian, hate working part-time aspiring to be a SAHM, shop-aholic, breast feeding and formula feeding kinda mommy.  If you don't like it you can kiss my fat white ass.  My babies love me my hubby loves me and I don't give a shit if you hate me!  But love me and I'll give you my all!

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JessicaRena
by on Jan. 21, 2009 at 10:23 PM

I dad is someone who is there and takes care of her. He is the one who should have the credit and rights to her.  The other man is the bilogical father not in the picture. Which does not mean much. And when she is older will think the same I am sure. A dad is someone who is there.

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