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Disabilities

Posted by on Jan. 25, 2009 at 11:21 AM
  • 2 Replies

I was blessed with twin boys who were born on Aug 15, 2008. One of them was born with a cleft lip and palet. I can't help but to blame myself. I have always thought maybe if I did something else when I was pregnant or maybe if I didn't eat that. He seems to be a healthy little boy and has just gone through his first surgery with everything going fine. I just can't let go of the guilt, I tried my hardest to have a healthy pregnancy and thought I was doing great! Please help if you understand what I'm going through and how to cope with the guilt.

by on Jan. 25, 2009 at 11:21 AM
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Replies (1-2):
lilmomma4
by on Jan. 25, 2009 at 11:44 AM

Sorry about your baby.It's not your fault at all.

I'm a sahm,cio,formula using,non-political,going back to school,former teen mom,non-spanking,supernanny technique using,in love with a police officer,christian,very petite,mama of 5 beautiful kids.I am who I am and your approval isn't needed.
www.myspace.com/lilmisstink78

tuckersmommy22
by on Jan. 25, 2009 at 11:52 AM
When I was 20 weeks pregnant I found out that I had low amniotic fluid, they did an amniocentesis and couldn't find any reason for it to have happened. I felt so guilty, the doctors told me my son would never live...his lungs would never develop enough to keep him alive. They told me I should terminate, no need to go through with a pregnancy for a baby who wouldn't make it (not my OB he was great). So we made our plan and I knew he was going to be born early, I just didn't know how early or if he would even survive in the womb. I delivered him at 26 weeks 4 days...that was 8 months ago, he's now home on oxygen and with a lot of meds and inhalers, but he's ALIVE and I thank God for that everyday. He spent 7 months in the NICU before we were finally able to bring him home. I still feel guilty to this day...wondering if I would have done something differently or not eaten that or not done that...it kills me. Everyone will tell you it's not your fault, and I will too...but we as their mothers can't help but feel like there was something we should have been able to do for them. It's been 8 months and every once in a while that feeling creeps back up, especially when I see Mommies out with their perfectly healthy babies in the store, going on trips with them, not knowing when I'll be able to do that. I still get jealous of the women who have perfect pregnancies and are complaining about how uncomfortable they are...I would have given ANYTHING for that. So no, you're not alone...and I completely understand where you're coming from...it will get easier and the guilt and what if's will start to subside...but I don't know if that feeling will ever truly go away. We'll find out I guess...I will say this too, it wasn't our fault. We were blessed with miracles. Sorry it's so long, I hope it helps.

"If God brings you to it,
He will bring you through it.
Happy moments, praise God.
Difficult moments, seek God.
Quiet moments, worship God.
Painful moments, trust God.
Every moment thank God."


~Audra (Tucker's Mommy)~
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