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Do you think this is wrong? I do.

Posted by on Jan. 25, 2009 at 4:58 PM
  • 10 Replies

My dad told me that my son's father can't see him because he isn't doing anything for him. I don't think that is right. I mean I don't he has bought him anything, etc. but he is his father and he wants to see him. What do ya'll think?

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by on Jan. 25, 2009 at 4:58 PM
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Replies (1-10):
mommy5
by on Jan. 25, 2009 at 5:04 PM

He should be given the chance to be a father to his child and part of is needs to be supporting his child but it has to start somewhere and seeing the child is important.

lillysmomma124
by on Jan. 25, 2009 at 5:05 PM

i think that it's all your call


Mamamanic
by Gold Member on Jan. 25, 2009 at 5:11 PM

As long as your not endangering the child in any way, what is it to him anyway. It is up to you, I mean I will not drop what I'm doing or anything. As long as they plan with me, then my thoughts are let the child decide when they are old enough.My dd's do not see their father much, but I do not bad mouth him, because it really will matter to the child most of all. Let the child make their own opinions.

jaidsmommy
by on Jan. 25, 2009 at 5:22 PM

My dad thinks that just because he has being taken care of my son since I was pregnant that he can decide whether or not he sees his father.

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Sirenabella
by on Jan. 25, 2009 at 5:31 PM


Quoting lillysmomma124:

i think that it's all your call


knoxmomof2
by Bronze Member on Jan. 25, 2009 at 5:38 PM

As far as what is right.... I think the father should be allowed to see his child-- child support or not. This isn't about your or your Dad, or the baby's father, it's about what your baby needs-- and he needs his father as much as possible

If you Dad is helping out in some major way (providing shelter or financial support for you guys), it's understandable that he wants you to seek other ways to support the child. BUT, you have a legal and moral duty as the child's mother to encourage the maximum amount of love between father and son. You don't ever want your son to blame you for never seeing his Father AND the courts will frown on the fact that you were keeping your son from his Father if you all ever do go to court for custody/ child support issues.

I am a stepmom and our court papers specifically say that Child support has nothing to do with visitation and visitation has nothing to do with child support. Meaning that if he's not paying child support, that doesn't release you of your duty to allow visitation and if you're not allowing visitation, that doesn't release him from his duty of paying child support. They are separate issues to be taken up with the courts, not by witholding something from the other parent.

That's my 2 cents.. it seems like you want the child to see his father. If so, the easiest way to handle this with your Dad is to hide behind the courts. Just say "Dad, it's up to the courts to enforce child support, but regardless, it's up to me to facilitate visitation. Otherwise it could hurt me if it goes to court."

Malley
by on Jan. 25, 2009 at 6:54 PM

I think you should let your baby see his dad. But I do understand how your dad is feeling because I'm in his position. I think it's easy for a grandparent to feel a lot of resentment towards a dad who is not shouldering his responsibilities.

scmomma85
by on Jan. 25, 2009 at 7:00 PM

I agree with the others, it's up to you whether you want your son to his dad or not. If he wants to be in the child's life, then let him see his kid, maybe he will start taking care of him financially too.

  

atheobald914
by on Jan. 26, 2009 at 8:47 AM

I think unless there is a serious reason why you shouldn't (he's abusive, drug abuser, alcoholic, ect) then I would let him see him. My mom tried that crap with me when I had had my first just because she didn't like the father, and granted he wasn't the best, but I had to put my foot down. She even went as far as threatening to call CPS! This is definately your choice! Best of luck to you!!!

norbert
by on Jan. 26, 2009 at 8:53 AM

 I can see where you Dad is coming from, I don't agree with him but it is understandable.  Maybe if you point out to your dad that it could hurt you in court if it comes out that you were preventing your baby's father from seeing the baby he will be more understanding. Sort of explain how you understand why he feels the way he does but your hands are tied and you don't want to hurt your chances if you end up  in court for custody, or child support etc.. Good luck mama.

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