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why do they ask for advise then turn it around

Posted by on Jan. 25, 2009 at 11:39 PM
  • 4 Replies

Ok this goes for friends and ppl on cm

Why do some ladies  text  or post about there bf/husband  doing things to them and then turn it around when u give them ur opinion on things say that oh its not that or he doesnt do it all the time ... i dunno its hard to explain but im pretty sure u get what im sayin

My friend text me telling me she was scared to talk around him cause he may blow up at her and i was nice about it and i was like girl u dont need anyone who ur scared to talk around and she said  well im not scared i just dont feel like talking to him ..... ?!?!?!?!?

so why do they do that ?  do u have friends or know ppl that do that?

by on Jan. 25, 2009 at 11:39 PM
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Replies (1-4):
SugarMama99200
by on Jan. 25, 2009 at 11:49 PM

my sis is like that. she is always calling and venting about her BF and i "advise" her but shes still there putting up w it all. she gets herself in these situations but doesnt like for people to tell her about herself and she keeps doin it. ugh!! so frusterating

hotmom40ish
by on Jan. 26, 2009 at 5:15 PM

Here's a bump for ya.

Rebecca

proudmamaof2kid
by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 1:44 PM

My friend were like that, probably still are, still with the man she were always complaining about, she lives in other country were I came from and one time my other friend that also talk to her, sent me a e-mail and told me she doesn't want to talk to her anymore because, she were complaining she were gonna leave him or something, don't remember how, mind say it in wrong way, anyway my other friend told her, so why are you getting back to him if you so unhappy with him, she got mad and haven't talk to her since.

MyIrishTwins56
by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 2:23 PM

Because sometimes we - the ones on the outside - mistake advise with telling someone what to do.  For instance, when someone comes to you for advise (let's take the example you gave) saying 'you don't need that..." is like saying leave him.  Advise would be: well how about you start off slow or write him a letter...yadda yadda yadda.   Sometimes we - the ones on the outside - confuse what we would do with  a neutral opinion.  IMO Anytime someone feels that they are being told what to do in anyway, they shut down and block you out. Because, you can't tell anyone what to do.  Only offer suggestions or "advise" or personal experience that does not lead to finger pointing blame or the feeling or someone ruling you.  

"Learn to write you hurts in sand and to carve your benefits in stone." - Unknown

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