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Should I let it go or Say something???.....Kind of Long

Posted by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 11:05 AM
  • 7 Replies

 

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Question: Should I just ignore her or say something to her?

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Ignore her

Say something to her

Have hubby say something to her

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Total Votes: 10

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So my MIL in my opinion is crazy. She seems to be obsessed with my 6 mo old son. But the weird part is she wont come to our house to visit him. We only live about 20 min from her and 5 min from where she works. I am a stay at home mom and since it is winter, my son and I are here everyday. And she hasnt seen him since Christmas. I dont really  mind that because i dont like to be around that much, but i would never keep my son from her, so i feel bad he doesnt get to see her. Well i broke my ankle last weekend so it is hard for me to move around the house so she called my hubby and asked him if we wanted her to watch him overnight the one night to help out. Well my husband said we would think about it, knowing that i would say no because i dont trust her with my son. But he just kind of blew it off, well the day she was going to come get him, my family came over to visit, my dad as well hadnt seen him since Christmas, but he is an over the road driver and hasnt been home. But that night she called my hubby and told him she was mad at him because she was planning on stopping and picking landon up and taking him to my BIL house and they were all going to hang out there and then my BIL was going to keep him overnight and his mother was going to bring him home the next morning. Well i was upset when i heard this because i dont like the fact that people just assume they can take my son and make plans without us even being involved. She just assumed we would say yes and she went and made plans without us. And not to mention, my BIL lives about 20 min away also, so his mom was going to come here take my son go to his house and have a little family time, while i sat here by myself while my hubby was at work. Ok so then last night she calls my hubby and says he got something in the mail there at her house and she would bring it to work with her to pick up, well she told him that the only way he would get it is if he brings "that baby" with him to see her. First of all he has a name and he shouldnt be used for bribes. And believe me she is serious. OHH and then she proceeds to tell my husband that the reason she wont come here to see him is because she would like to spend her time with him alone. With just her "family". What is that supposed to mean? And the reason i dont trust her...Here is an example, I was feeding my son his bottle, she walked in my front door didnt say a word, walked over to us took the bottle out of my hand took my son and went to the other chair and fed him. The whole time not saying a word. The she gets about 1 inch from his face and whispers, "looks like mommy isnt feeding you good enough", "its ok grammy is here now", and the whole time she is here she doesnt put him down once and stays right in his face the whole time, she just creeps me out. And BTW he is 6months old weighs 20lbs and is a very happy and healthy baby. She reminds me of the type of person that would take him and leave with him like kidnap him, when she talks to people she calls him her baby and her little boy. And in her mind he only has one parent, and thats his daddy....sorry this was so long.

by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 11:05 AM
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Replies (1-7):
mlregalado
by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 11:12 AM

Wow. Is she on meds? j/k. I sincerely doubt that you aren't feeding him "right" since he outweighs my 14 month old.

I am a book reading, home- cooked- meal making, coffee drinking, food growing, non-spanking, cloth diapering, semi-crunchy SAHM to my three nephews and DD. BTW, I fully acknowlege that I am crazy, telling me won't surprise me! And I am a dork! And its AWESOME!
mlregalado
by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 11:17 AM

How is she obsessed with your son? If she was obsessed with him wouldn't she come see him? And what's up with her calling him "That Baby"? Weird.

I am a book reading, home- cooked- meal making, coffee drinking, food growing, non-spanking, cloth diapering, semi-crunchy SAHM to my three nephews and DD. BTW, I fully acknowlege that I am crazy, telling me won't surprise me! And I am a dork! And its AWESOME!
ChazznRoccosmom
by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 11:18 AM

Don't you just love in-laws? Yeah......... I'd confront her. something needs to be said. I would say let hubby, but I know sometimes they down play it, and take the middle ground. Plus that puts him in a hard spot. You're the one she's treating like sh*t, and since you're family now, you have every right to deal with it. Talk to her as if she was your own mother.

 Chazz     Rocco    Joey


baby boybaby boybaby boy


  06-24-02   09-05-05   09-15-08

Landonsmom730
by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 11:22 AM


Quoting mlregalado:

How is she obsessed with your son? If she was obsessed with him wouldn't she come see him? And what's up with her calling him "That Baby"? Weird.


 

She wont come to see him because she wants him to herself, she doesnt want my husband or I around when she sees him. And I wont let her take him so she wont come to see him. She built an entire nursery in her house and tells us we are mean for not letting her use it. She says she has a right to have him over night too.

Tinamomof7
by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 11:22 AM

OK, she has issues, without a doubt.  She seems to think this is a competition.  Has your relationship with her always been uncomfortable?  Some things I get, calling him "her baby". My mom does that, but trying to get around you completely is going too far. This could get even worse when he gets older and she is underminding your authority.  It's time that some ground rules get set.  How does your DH feel about this?  It really should be him that sets the bounderies because she is his mom and it needs to  come from him. 

Talk to him, explain where the problem is and that if it doesn't get set straight now it will only be worse later.  It's time he had a talk with his mother.

Landonsmom730
by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 11:24 AM


Quoting Tinamomof7:

OK, she has issues, without a doubt.  She seems to think this is a competition.  Has your relationship with her always been uncomfortable?  Some things I get, calling him "her baby". My mom does that, but trying to get around you completely is going too far. This could get even worse when he gets older and she is underminding your authority.  It's time that some ground rules get set.  How does your DH feel about this?  It really should be him that sets the bounderies because she is his mom and it needs to  come from him. 

Talk to him, explain where the problem is and that if it doesn't get set straight now it will only be worse later.  It's time he had a talk with his mother.

He agrees with me %100, but he never wants to get into with her, she will tell him that she will do something to hurt herself because her son doesnt love her anymore, and her and her feelings should come first. She is crazy.

Tinamomof7
by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 11:27 AM

I know he loves his mom.  But that is emotional blackmail and manipulation and YOU and your son some first.  I'm guessing that once that's made clear she will fly off the deep end and throw every guilt trip out there she can think of, but once her efforts yield no reward she will get over it.  If he can't do it on his own then the two of you need to do it together.

Quoting Landonsmom730:

 

Quoting Tinamomof7:

OK, she has issues, without a doubt.  She seems to think this is a competition.  Has your relationship with her always been uncomfortable?  Some things I get, calling him "her baby". My mom does that, but trying to get around you completely is going too far. This could get even worse when he gets older and she is underminding your authority.  It's time that some ground rules get set.  How does your DH feel about this?  It really should be him that sets the bounderies because she is his mom and it needs to  come from him. 

Talk to him, explain where the problem is and that if it doesn't get set straight now it will only be worse later.  It's time he had a talk with his mother.

He agrees with me %100, but he never wants to get into with her, she will tell him that she will do something to hurt herself because her son doesnt love her anymore, and her and her feelings should come first. She is crazy.


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