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Disrespectful Teen mom need HELP!!!!!!!!

Posted by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 11:11 AM
  • 6 Replies

Okay ladies...I need your advice as moms & as woman. I wrote a post last Thursday about my 14 year old SD who was very disrespectful to me. When she said " Your not my mom" and how it hurt me. So I took the advice from several of you and stop doing for her & tried to have a talk with her as to why I did this and how she made me feel. Also I tried to explained that she didnt have to like me but she had to respect me. Needless to say this did NOT go well...she basiclly said she didnt want to talk to me & she thought we should just ignore each other it was better that way & it made it quiet around the house. She also ask me when I was going to leave? I was floored...I know I mentioned that once to her dad but it has been a while and we have worked things out....please help ladies how to I handle this??? I know her mom who lives 3000 miles away is also putting false ideas in her head. as she has starting emailing me saying things like my Husband family cant wait until I leave & so on..I know she misses her mom  escpecially being a teen girl with friends and seeing them interact with their moms & I would never try and take her place but if I dont have a relationship with her I am scared that my husband will not want to stay with me....any thoughts????

by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 11:11 AM
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Replies (1-6):
mom2-2
by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 11:13 AM

Have you tried to talk to your husband? Let him know what's going on and you might be shocked he could have a secret tip to help you get a long or communicate with her..

Amaris_amor
by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 11:22 AM

Agree... I would definately talk to your husband about it and maybe you could all sit down together as a family and let her see that her dad loves you and supports you and that he won't stand for her acting this way and that she can have her own feelings but needs to do so in a respectful grown up way. I think also that you guy should show/tell his ex wife that you don't want her e-mailing you things like that.

mlbrooks421
by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 11:26 AM

I agree with the PP. You need to talk to your husband. HE needs to talk to his disrespectful daughter. If you are putting out all of the effort, but she isn't, that is all you can do. He needs to set her straight. Missing her mom or not she shouldn't be allowed by her follow to treat you that way.

MyIrishTwins56
by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 11:38 AM

I agree with these ladies.

Quoting mlbrooks421:

I agree with the PP. You need to talk to your husband. HE needs to talk to his disrespectful daughter. If you are putting out all of the effort, but she isn't, that is all you can do. He needs to set her straight. Missing her mom or not she shouldn't be allowed by her follow to treat you that way.


"Learn to write you hurts in sand and to carve your benefits in stone." - Unknown

kristanBellasMa
by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 12:59 PM

As a SD myself I have to just say that your sd will probably not respect you until you show her respect. And I have no idea what is going on in your home I mean you are saying she is disrespectful but I have not heard her side of the story. I know that my step mom had two children and she NEVER did anything for me. She would not do my laundry but she would do anything and everything for her children and my dad. She would not take me anywhere EVER. My step sister had to beg her one day to let me go to a softball game with them. Then my dad got home and was worried about me because he knew that his snatch wife wouldn't take me anywhere with her. He was very shocked when he found out that I went with her. THAT is Sad to me, still to this day and I am a grown adult now. I really wish my dad would have left her too back then. She said I was disrespectful which I was but I never cursed at her until the day I moved out and I never ever pulled the "you are not my mother" card on her. I thought I was very respectful of her especially the way she treated me as such an outcast. She made me feel horrible. She wouldn't ever buy or do anything with me but she gave her kids EVERYTHING. I am just hoping that you are not like her. And maybe you should look at things in this girls perspective. Because after my sm moved in I never ever felt like that house was one where i grew up again. It wasn't a home to me. Even after I moved out I would knock before entering. How sad is that to knock at the house you lived and grew up your whole life.

hippimom74
by on Apr. 7, 2009 at 1:10 PM

I think KBsMa has a great point and an important perspective.

My only experience in the subject has been watching a good friend struggle with her SDs. And I side strongly with the SDs in that case. I don't know how you come to a common ground when things get ruffled, but its got to come from a genuine place. And the thing that struck me most was your last comment: "but if I dont have a relationship with her I am scared that my husband will not want to stay with me..."

Girls are wonderfully aware of the seen and the unseen. If your intentions aren't in check - why should she bother?

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