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can bio-dad request step-dad not to pick up child?

Posted by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 12:45 PM
  • 32 Replies

my son's bio-dad told me he does not want my husband to pick up son anymore because I should be required to do it and that it is weird for him.

the reason my husband does the pick ups after bio-dad's visitation is because i don't feel comfortable being alone around bio-dad since he was violent towards me when we dated. bio-dad decided to be a part of sons life after waiting 2 years and had to take parenting classes because of the violence he had towards me. 

I have a baby at home that i don't want to drag back and forth for pick ups also whom i stay home with when hubby gets son.

If bio-dad brings this up along with the countless other issues he has what would the court do in this situation does anyone know the law for it?

by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 12:45 PM
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Replies (1-10):
nokesmomof2
by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 12:47 PM

idk so heres a bump 4 ya

lenalove
by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 12:47 PM

if that is the case then just bring your hubby with you. I think he can request that, and its understandable. but if you go and take your SO i cant see it being a problem

                                 

iluvtattoos
by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 12:49 PM

In my papers for visitation its says that he is to pick him up and drop him off. It gives a detailed outline of which holidays he is to have him and ect. I think that you should be there with your DH when he is picked up though.

littlemissyjen
by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 12:49 PM

Yes he can. It is the bio parents job to exchange children, nobody elses. If you are afraid of him, trade the child at your local PD or take your hub with you.

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LillysMama0308
by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 12:51 PM

  There has to be a really good reason why he doesnt want him to pick up or drop off your son for the courts to say that he isnt allowed... Like he feels the child is in danger( which the courts will look at because the child lives with you) But if he cant really prove a good reason the courts will just blow it off.. Dont worry hun I am just sure he is being ridiculus..

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sgilbert211
by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 12:51 PM


Quoting lenalove:

if that is the case then just bring your hubby with you. I think he can request that, and its understandable. but if you go and take your SO i cant see it being a problem

I would agree with this! He can take this issue to court if he wanted and the Judge can make you up your son. I can understand both sides, I wouldn't want a "stranger" picking up my child and you don't feel safe doing it. I know he's not a stranger to you and your son but to your son's father he is. Good luck!




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                     non co-sleeping, PERFECT kids!

Julie522
by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 12:52 PM


Quoting iluvtattoos:

In my papers for visitation its says that he is to pick him up and drop him off. It gives a detailed outline of which holidays he is to have him and ect. I think that you should be there with your DH when he is picked up though.

i thought that it should be bio-dad's responsibility to do the pick up and drop off's but ad litem said it it went to court that they would make me do half the driving.  i thought it was weird because i drive son for all of the time i had him, i thought that it should be bio-dad's responsiblility to do all the driving for his time. 

did the bio-dad agree to do all the driving or was it just ordered by court?

kadies_mom_06
by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 1:05 PM

yes if he goes to court he can say that he doesnt want your dh to pick up your son from him,the court will do one of two things normally they will say you have to pick your son up its your resposiblity and your job as parents (both you and bio dad) to be adults and tolerate each other for the few minutes it takes to get your son.Now given your past if you can prove he was violent towards you and your dont like to be alone with him they may say that your dh can come with you but most likely they will still respect your exs wishes and say that you dh cant come pick him up alone.But this is in most cases they may still make an exception you wont know unless he it happens.

Im basing my opinion on what i know of friend of the court due to my dh the rule for them was dh had to pick his dd up no one else with him which his ex let up on when she heard dh (then df) and i had moved in together and i was pregnant that was the order set up by friend of the court based soley on her saying she had met a friend of his that she went to high school with and she didnt like him that was it due to that he wasnt allowed to have his dd around any 3rd parties except his parents with out his exs ok. My cousin was also in a position where her ex was engaged to someone and she didnt want the women at the pick ups and drop offs (they met half way in a nutrual place) she went to court and complained and they told her ex that the girlfriend was not to come with him any more.this was just cause she had no good reason to complain other then she didnt like to see them together.

Quoting Julie522:

my son's bio-dad told me he does not want my husband to pick up son anymore because I should be required to do it and that it is weird for him.

the reason my husband does the pick ups after bio-dad's visitation is because i don't feel comfortable being alone around bio-dad since he was violent towards me when we dated. bio-dad decided to be a part of sons life after waiting 2 years and had to take parenting classes because of the violence he had towards me. 

I have a baby at home that i don't want to drag back and forth for pick ups also whom i stay home with when hubby gets son.

If bio-dad brings this up along with the countless other issues he has what would the court do in this situation does anyone know the law for it?


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iluvtattoos
by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 1:09 PM

Its not in the papers that the lawyers type up. It is attached to the back of my court papers, its like state statues or guidelines or what ever you call them and it says that the non custodial parent picks up at 6pm on friday and drops off at 7pm on sunday. IDK, i think that it is just some custody guideline thing in my state. Every state should have their own.

Quoting Julie522:

 

Quoting iluvtattoos:

In my papers for visitation its says that he is to pick him up and drop him off. It gives a detailed outline of which holidays he is to have him and ect. I think that you should be there with your DH when he is picked up though.

i thought that it should be bio-dad's responsibility to do the pick up and drop off's but ad litem said it it went to court that they would make me do half the driving.  i thought it was weird because i drive son for all of the time i had him, i thought that it should be bio-dad's responsiblility to do all the driving for his time. 

did the bio-dad agree to do all the driving or was it just ordered by court?


Julie522
by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 1:28 PM

I have on tape recorder his admission that he was violent towards me.  he said that he probably hit me because i was annoying him and also admitted to a lot of other stuff he did to me i don't want to get into detail it is almost embarassing.  however he told the court he never harmed me in anyway.  but later admitted to me.  the ad litem of course sided on the side of safety.

Quoting kadies_mom_06:

yes if he goes to court he can say that he doesnt want your dh to pick up your son from him,the court will do one of two things normally they will say you have to pick your son up its your resposiblity and your job as parents (both you and bio dad) to be adults and tolerate each other for the few minutes it takes to get your son.Now given your past if you can prove he was violent towards you and your dont like to be alone with him they may say that your dh can come with you but most likely they will still respect your exs wishes and say that you dh cant come pick him up alone.But this is in most cases they may still make an exception you wont know unless he it happens.

Im basing my opinion on what i know of friend of the court due to my dh the rule for them was dh had to pick his dd up no one else with him which his ex let up on when she heard dh (then df) and i had moved in together and i was pregnant that was the order set up by friend of the court based soley on her saying she had met a friend of his that she went to high school with and she didnt like him that was it due to that he wasnt allowed to have his dd around any 3rd parties except his parents with out his exs ok. My cousin was also in a position where her ex was engaged to someone and she didnt want the women at the pick ups and drop offs (they met half way in a nutrual place) she went to court and complained and they told her ex that the girlfriend was not to come with him any more.this was just cause she had no good reason to complain other then she didnt like to see them together.

Quoting Julie522:

my son's bio-dad told me he does not want my husband to pick up son anymore because I should be required to do it and that it is weird for him.

the reason my husband does the pick ups after bio-dad's visitation is because i don't feel comfortable being alone around bio-dad since he was violent towards me when we dated. bio-dad decided to be a part of sons life after waiting 2 years and had to take parenting classes because of the violence he had towards me. 

I have a baby at home that i don't want to drag back and forth for pick ups also whom i stay home with when hubby gets son.

If bio-dad brings this up along with the countless other issues he has what would the court do in this situation does anyone know the law for it?



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