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how would you do it

Posted by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 1:23 PM
  • 11 Replies

when i get my tax money back, im planning on leaving him, but how do i do it? im pregnant, my family wont drive all the way out here to help me move my stuff, ill have 2 kids, ill still have to work, but i have to get away from him. i cant live like this anymore. i ask him to do something for me, he throws a big hissy fit, but when its the other way around, im supposed to jump at his request. Im tired of the arguing, its taken a toll, not just on me, but on my kids as well. i just dont know how to do it. do i leave in the middle of the night, while he is at work...just one day decide to vanish. i want him to be a part of his kids life, i really do, i just dont want to live with him anymore. i want to be my own person, do what i want to do, raise my kids how i want to. i just need encourgement or advice or anything ladies please help me!!!!

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by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 1:23 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Rlambert6002
by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 1:25 PM

Sorry you are in this situation. If he is violent (you didn't specify) then I would sneak about doing it. if not, then I would do him the courtesy of telling him and why.


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Nobull
by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 1:28 PM

Ditto

Quoting Rlambert6002:

Sorry you are in this situation. If he is violent (you didn't specify) then I would sneak about doing it. if not, then I would do him the courtesy of telling him and why.


 Life is not simply to Live, but to love and be Loved

mommy2000
by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 1:30 PM

I dont know the whole sintuation, but i want you to remember that you are pregnant and he may be driving you crazy because of the hormones.now if you really are having problems i think that you should talk to him about it.  If he still doesnt change then tell him you want to leave dont just get up and leave and make life harder for yourself, get things together first and make him help. and you cant raise your kids just how you want because you didnt have them by yourself.

heartsandskulls
by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 1:31 PM

ive tried talking to him and he just tells me, i wont be able to make it own my own. ill end up losing my kids and blah blah blah. i just im fed up. its been 3 yrs and in relationships, your supposed to move forward, not backward.we ended up living in the town he grew up in, becuase he thinks its cheaper to live in a town but yet our jobs are 20 miles away from each other in opposite directions, and HE DOESNT DRIVE!!! i have to do everything

Quoting Rlambert6002:

Sorry you are in this situation. If he is violent (you didn't specify) then I would sneak about doing it. if not, then I would do him the courtesy of telling him and why.


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MikeysMom51108
by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 1:33 PM

Before you just leave, you need to have a place to go. If you don't have family to live with, look for a women's shelter or something until you can get back on your feet.

I agree with a PP, if he's violent, sneak out. If he's not, I think he deserves to know that you are leaving and why. Don't worry about him telling you you won't make it, your kids will be taken away, blah blah blah. That's just stuff people say to try and convince someone to stay.

Good luck.

heartsandskulls
by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 1:34 PM

oh believe me, its not just the hormones. i should of left before i even had the chance to get pregnant again (not saying i dont want this baby..i already love him with all my heart..i just wish it would of been a better time.) im tired of the arguing, the getting ignored, the way he acts towards me, like he can do so much better  then me. ive been trying to get back to wichita for quite sometime, but he wnts to stay out here and live in the basement of his moms house for the rest of his life. (at least thats what it seems like)

Quoting mommy2000:

I dont know the whole sintuation, but i want you to remember that you are pregnant and he may be driving you crazy because of the hormones.now if you really are having problems i think that you should talk to him about it.  If he still doesnt change then tell him you want to leave dont just get up and leave and make life harder for yourself, get things together first and make him help. and you cant raise your kids just how you want because you didnt have them by yourself.


pregnancy calendar

Christy644
by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 1:39 PM

OK, since your mind is made up i'm not going to give you the realtionship advice. I will answer what you asked.

Make sure you have a place to go. Then each day start packing up things he won't notice. Then when he leaves for work you pack it all into the vehicle and leave. Don't call, don't tell him where. Email him and tell him you left. Tell him you and the kids are safe and when the situation has calmed then the 2 of you will talk it out.

But if you are hell bent on staying gone, don't go back at the first words of kindness or beacuse he threatens you.

Best of luck. been there done that. If you need any advice or someone to talk to PM me. 

peach69
by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 1:45 PM

I agree with some of the post, if he is violent then leave when he is not around or are you afraid that if he sees you live he will convince you to stay.  Make sure you have a place to go to, and dont worry about him saying you wont make it on your own, you will for you and your kids.  Take care and the best of luck for you. PM if you want to talk more.

 
Carlos Antonio-Born 11/06/08

MyIrishTwins56
by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 1:47 PM

Taking into consideration that you said that you don't plan on keeping his kid(s) from him, unless he is a violent person: in which case forget what I'm about to say, then I suggest you tackle it head on.  I vaguely remember you posting about him before (am I right?). If so then this means that you are fed up.  What I mean by tackle head on is tell him the day that you've made your plan and are "outta there." Tell him why and that you don't intend on coming back, for the following reasons, whatever they are.  This is in the interest of keeping communication open and allowing him the opportunity of having a relationship with his chil(dren). 

If's he's the violent type however, buy 2 plain, train, bus, railroad - whatever - ticket and leave in the middle of the night with your babies.

 

Edit: BTW take his telling you that you can't make it on your own as initiative.  Let if build a fire and take it and run...prove to yourself that you can.  Just because he ignorantly says that does not mean that it's true.  The "cosmos" knew what they were doing when they made you mom to these babies.  What he's telling you is just a small form of manipulation and mind control.

"Learn to write you hurts in sand and to carve your benefits in stone." - Unknown

Jennybenny01
by Member on Jan. 27, 2009 at 2:10 PM

I would have a really good plan before you leave.

Sack some money away. Make plans ahead of time and get a new living situation all planned out. It might take you a little while but make sure you have a solid plan worked otherwise (this coming form experience) you will usually go back to him because something in the plan wasn't solid and fell through.

                               

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